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E.G.G Episode 63: #CoulsonLives
“Mr. Westbrook.” Commander Maria Hill addressed Josh, as he sat across from her at a conference table in in a dark room.
“Maria.” Josh replied.
“I would like you to answer a question for me.”
“Okay… But can we hurry this up? Eileen, Acacia and I were about to crack a secret to our biggest invention yet!”
“What level were you when you left S.H.I.E.L.D?”
“What level? I don’t know, 8 I think…”
“Really? You? Level 8?”
“I said I think! I don’t remember, isn’t this stuff in my file anyway! Come on Maria, we’re wasting time!”
“Your level, Mr. Westbrook.” Josh sighed.
“I’m pretty sure I was Level 6.”
“So you are aware of what happened to Agent Phil Coulson?”
“Huh? Oh yeah! Coulson, I remember him.”
“Once. He debriefed me on a mission. Guy was kind of a robot. All monotonous and cut and dry. Sucks what happened to him though.”
“I heard Loki made him eat it.”
“… He got stabbed by Loki.”
“Pretty sure it was through the heart. It’s a legend now, history, and I honestly don’t know why we’re talking about Phil Coulson.”
“Because he wanted to make sure you were the right guy for the job.”
“Huh? Okay, maybe you didn’t get this… Phil Coulson is dead…”
“That’s debatable.” A voice suddenly said from the shadows. Josh nearly jumped out of his seat.
“Geez, I didn’t know there was someone else in here with us! Who’s back there?” At that moment, Agent Phil Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D walked out of the shadows and into the light.
“Welcome to Level 7.” He said.
“Oh, it’s you.” Josh said. Then his eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he fainted.
AND THERE CAME A DAY, A DAY UNLIKE ANY OTHER. WHEN EARTH’S MIGHTIEST HEROES FOUND THEMSELVES UNITED AGAINST A COMMON THREAT, TO FIGHT THE FOES NO SINGLE HERO COULD WITHSTAND. ON THAT DAY, THE AVENGERS WERE BORN. UNFORTUNATELY FOR THAT TO HAPPEN, AGENT PHIL COULSON OF S.H.I.E.L.D WAS KILLED BY LOKI, GOD OF MISCHIEF. OR WAS HE?
Previously, on E.G.G...
Having been framed by the Masters of Doom, Josh was thrown in jail by Nick Fury. After figuring it out, Acacia, Eileen, and James broke him out and confronted the Masters of Doom for a long awaited rematch. The battle more or less ended in a standstill when Scramble detonated his armor and Gyro Man got them out of there. Josh returned to E.G.G Station free and clear.
Click here to read E.G.G Episode 62: Rematch
“Tahiti?” Josh asked Coulson, holding an ice pack on his head.
“It’s a magical place.” Coulson replied.
“Right, so that’s where you’ve been all this time?”
“Not exactly. I’ve been back in action for a while now. Running ops, completing missions…”
“Job never ends, huh?”
“No, it doesn’t. And now, I need your help Mr. Westbrook.”
“What for exactly?”
“It’s Director Fury. He can’t be trusted.” Josh looked at Hill.
“Coulson’s noticed some odd behavioral patterns.” Hill replied.
“Like what? He licks the cream off before he dunks his Oreo?”
“More like he’s having friendly Skype conversations with Dr. Doom.” Coulson answered. Josh frowned.
“Yeah. I thought that’d convince you. I’d like you to come with me and help me investigate, get to the bottom of this.”
“So I’ll ask the obvious question here, why me? Why not any fellow S.H.I.E.L.D agents?”
“S.H.I.E.L.D is compromised,” Coulson said. “We don’t know how many, if any, agents are in on this.”
“Seems like you trust Maria.”
“She’s the only one I can trust. Plus she’s working this from the inside. Either way, you were my only option, Mr. Westbrook. S.W.O.R.D has their own issues, and I don’t want any superheroes involved. I have my own team for this sort of thing, but they’re working a bigger op. That leaves E.G.G.”
“We’re a division of S.H.I.E.L.D though,” Josh said.
“I know, but you’re seceded, your own thing. I wanted one of the higher ranking agents, one with more experience. But I ran into a few problems with most of them. I couldn’t put Director Wuthrich in a compromising position, that Collins kid knows nothing about this time period, Agent Rice is too close to Fury and that Acacia girl… well… she…”
“You don’t need to explain, I’ve worked with her for years, I get it. So you chose me?”
“And you think I’m the right guy for the job?”
“No.” Coulson said, standing up. “But you’re the best I’ve got.”
“That’s hurtful.” Josh said as Hill slid a case over to him.
“You’re going to the Helicarrier and need to blend in.” She said. “You can’t really do that in your E.G.G outfit.”
“Um, everyone recognizes me as the pervious Director of E.G.G!” Josh noted.
“Eh, not really.” Hill replied. “Up until about a year ago E.G.G officially didn’t even exist. Or did you forget about your little run in with the Avengers.”
“No.” Josh said, opening the case to reveal a S.H.I.E.L.D uniform. “Hey! My old uniform!” He exclaimed. He sniffed it then scrunched his nose. “Ugh, you guys couldn’t at least wash it? It still smells like Doritos!”
“Oh no, we washed it multiple times.” Coulson said. “The smell wouldn’t come out.”
“Well you coulda got me a new one.” Josh grumbled, pulling it out. Coulson smiled.
“Now where’s the fun in that?”
* * *
A large metal double door opened up on the Helicarrier and Josh and Coulson walked through.
“So we’re sure this is Fury?” Josh asked. “Could be a shape shifter, maybe a rogue LMD…”
“Unfortunately none of those options panned out.” Coulson replied. “We looked into mind control as well, but there was no telepathic activity detected.”
“Okay then,” Josh said. “So basically, Fury’s a traitor?”
“That’s how it looks now, but hopefully this investigation yields different results.”
“Right…” Josh said. “Psh, and he threw me in jail…”
“Hey!” A passing S.H.I.E.L.D Agent happily exclaimed, holding out his hand.
“What’s up my fellow agent of…” Josh began as the agent walked past him and shook Coulson’s hand. “… S.H.I.E.L.D…”
“Phil Coulson!” The agent said. “The living legend! I don’t believe that it’s true! You’re actually alive!”
“Believe it.” Coulson said, smiling. “And keep it quiet. No one below Level 7 needs to know. Got it?”
“Oh, yeah! Totally!” The agent said, zipping his lips. “Catch ya later!”
“I was the Director of E.G.G!” Josh blurted. The agent looked at him in confusion.
“Uh… yeah… whatever you say pal…” He walked away. Josh threw his arms in the air.
“Really!” He shouted. “I’m chopped liver to these guys! All they care about is you! He called you a living legend! That’s what they call Captain America!” Coulson let out a small laugh. “What?”
“Captain America.” He said, smiling. “All right, back on track. We’re headed up to Fury’s office. Hopefully we can catch him in the act.”
“Actually,” Josh said. “I’ve got a better idea.” The two made their way through the Helicarrier and down the hall from Fury’s office.
“Alright, what’s the plan?” Coulson asked.
“We spy on Fury from a safe distance.” Josh replied, activating a holographic screen on his wrist and taking out an Egg Flier. “My Razor Bat… er… Egg Flier, can sneak in undetected and get the goods on Fury without him ever knowing we’re here!” Coulson nodded.
“Good, do it.” He replied. Josh activated the Egg Flier.
“All right, here goes nothing…” The holographic screen displayed everything the Egg Flier saw while Josh controlled it remotely. He maneuvered it through the vents and into Fury’s office. He planted it on the wall and zoomed in on Fury, who was talking on the computer to someone.
“Can we get audio?” Coulson asked.
“Whoops. Give me a minute…” Josh pressed a few buttons and the audio popped on.
“I’ve sent you everything you asked for Doom.” Fury said.
“Good.” Dr. Doom’s voice replied from the computer. Josh clenched his fist.
“Doom…” He growled under his breath.
“Stay focused.” Coulson replied.
“So, I’m just wondering if you’ll uphold your end of the bargain.” Fury asked Doom.
“Do not question Doom.” He replied. “You will have what you desire, but in order for that to happen, I require one more thing from you.”
“Ugh, what now?” Fury asked.
“The encrypted security codes for all of the Helicarrier’s operating systems.” Doom replied. Fury sighed.
“Fine, I’ll have it to you in an hour.” He cut the transmission and leaving the office. Josh’s jaw dropped.
“Are you sure he’s not on some super-secret undercover mission?” He asked, as his Egg Flier returned to him. “Because, I don’t think Fury would ever give Doom… well… anything!”
“You’re not wrong.” Coulson replied. “And with the encrypted codes involved, this just got a lot more serious. Even if it was an undercover mission, Fury would never hand those out. He’s the only one allowed to see them.”
“So that’s it then…” Josh said. “When good Directors go bad…”
“I still think there’s more to this.” Coulson replied. “We’ve just got to tail him. Try and figure what exactly is going on, and definitely do not let him send those codes to Doom.”
“Right!” Josh replied.
“Can I help you boys?” Josh and Coulson quickly turned to see Fury standing behind them.
“Director Fury!” Josh said. “We were, just, uh… coming to see if you wanted…”
“I was turning in my quarterly reports sir.” Coulson replied. “Westbrook tagged along, I couldn’t shake him. You know he gets clingy. He wouldn’t let me leave until he showed me this invention of his.” Coulson grabbed the Egg Flier. “It’s pretty handy, reminds me of something FitzSimmons came up with…” Fury squinted.
“Right, well you can just leave those reports on my desk.” He said.
“Yes sir.” Coulson replied. Fury turned and suspiciously left.
“Wow, you’re good!” Josh said. “I had no idea what I was gonna say!”
“I know.” Coulson replied.
“And what do you mean ‘clingy’? I’m not clingy! Where’d you even get that idea!”
“It was in your file.” Coulson replied.
“In my… Why? You know what, whatever, I don’t even care. Now give me back my Egg Flier!” He snatched it from Coulson. “It’s mine!”
“Point proven.” Coulson said, following after Fury.
“Wait, what?” Josh asked. He looked down at the Egg Flier. “… Oh…” He pocketed it and followed Coulson.
* * *
Josh and Coulson knelt in the metal rafters of the Helicarrier while Nick Fury sat below, eating steak and mashed potatoes.
“Okay, he’s eating lunch.” Josh said. “Clearly nothing sinister going on here. All it’s accomplishing is making me hungry.”
“You’re missing the point.” Coulson said. “He’s alone. He doesn’t need to keep up the guise of Nick Fury. If this is someone, or something else, now is the perfect time for them to be themselves.” Fury cut the steak and bit it. Josh sighed.
“Yeah, wake me when that happens.” Josh said, lying down and closing his eyes.
“Rookie.” Coulson said under his breath.
“I didn’t say anything. Go back to sleep.”
“Oh no, I’m gonna stay up and watch Fury eat his potatoes!” Josh looked down as Fury took another bite. “Never mind.” He laid back down. Coulson sighed and continued to watch.
* * *
Fury was walking down the hall, Josh and Coulson not that far behind, when he was approached by Maria Hill.
“Director Fury.” She said.
“Not now Hill.” He replied.
“I’m sorry sir, but this is important.” She stated. “We’ve got a security breach down at the Triskelion. I’m not sure what exactly caused it, but early reports are saying that…”
“Maybe I didn’t make myself clear.” He said. He leaned in close to her. “%$@# off Maria.” He turned and walked away. Hill looked back at Coulson with a concerned look. Coulson deeply inhaled.
“Okay, Fury respects the crap out of that woman.” Josh said. “He would never shut her down like that!”
“Not even on a bad day.” Coulson added. “Come on, we should stake out the Master Box, that’s where all the codes are stored.”
“Right.” Josh said, as they headed off.
* * *
“Does S.H.I.E.L.D just not like to feed their agents edible food?” Josh asked, munching on bowl of noodles. “I mean, the Asian agents have to feel insulted to some degree when they say they’re serving lo mein, and then they hand out this garbage.”
“You said you were hungry, I got you food.” Coulson said.
“Yeah, bad food.” Coulson growled under his breath. Josh sat up. “Oh, what was that! The emotionless Phil Coulson just growled at me!”
“Emotionless?” Coulson asked. “I’m not emotionless, where’d you get that idea?”
“It said it in you file.” Josh smirked, slurping a noodle.
“Okay, whatever you say clingy.”
“I am not!” Coulson reached for Josh’s bowl and he quickly pulled it away. “Mine!”
“Shh… He’s coming.” They both watched as Fury walked up to the door of the Master Box. He looked around, typed in a code, then walked in. The door closed behind him.
“Whoa, what’s he doing? Can we get in?” Josh asked.
“No, that’s the most secure room on the Helicarrier, anybody but Fury goes in and we have alarms blaring. Loudly.” Fury soon emerged, and stuck a flash drive in his jacket. “He’s got the codes.” Coulson said, taking off. “We need to move, now.”
“Right.” Josh quickly slurped up his noodles and ran after Coulson. Fury walked into his office. Josh and Coulson just reached the door when it closed.
“No!” Josh exclaimed.
“Move away please.” Coulson said, taking out a small circular device.
“Ooh, is that a lock pick?”
“Sort of.” Coulson stepped back and folded his arms as the lock blew off of the door.
“Let’s go.” They walked in to see Fury sitting at his desk with Doom’s face on the computer.
“You’ve done better than I expected.” Doom said. “We may just consider your request.”
“That’s all I ask.” Fury said, taking out the flash drive.
“Drop it.” Coulson called. Fury looked to see Coulson aiming his gun and Josh aiming a Repulsor Blaster.
“Coulson, how did you get in here!” Fury shouted.
“It appears we are done here.” Doom said, cutting the transmission.
“NO!” Fury yelled. He slammed the table. “Dang it Coulson! That was a serious undercover mission you just blew!”
“You were about to hand the Helicarrier security codes to Victor von Doom.” Coulson replied.
“You really think I actually had the codes?” Fury said.
“We saw you go in the room!” Josh exclaimed.
“Wait, have you been following me?”
“You’re not yourself sir.” Coulson said. “The sneaking around, what you said to Agent Hill in the hall, dealing with Dr. Doom.”
“I thought you’d have more faith in me Coulson.” Fury replied, folding his arms. “I guess not.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Coulson said, lowering his gun. Josh looked at him.
“Wait, what, that’s it?” He asked.
“I haven’t even started with you Mr. Westbrook.” Fury said.
“It wasn’t his fault sir,” Coulson replied. “He was acting under my authority.”
“Oh, well okay then, looks like you’re taking the heat for this one.” Fury said. Coulson nodded.
“I see.” He grabbed Josh’s Repulsor Blaster and blasted Fury across the room.
“Agh!” He shouted as he hit the wall.
“There’s one thing you never talk to Nick Fury about.” Coulson stated. “And that’s authority. Who are you? Answer me!” He aimed the Repulsor Blaster only for Josh to snatch it from him.
“Mine!” Josh shouted.
“How do you not think you’re clingy!” Coulson exclaimed. Just then Fury kicked Coulson, jumped up, and punched Josh.
“Ah!” They both shouted as they fell to the ground. Fury wiped his lip.
“Big mistake. Both of you.” He said, rolling his fists. Josh and Coulson stood up.
“Stay back for the bulk of it,” Coulson said to Josh. “I’ve got this.”
“I can keep up.” Josh reassured. Coulson nodded and the two charged. Fury flipped Josh out of the way and engaged Coulson in combat. Fury delivered multiple jabs, Coulson blocking all of them. Fury then knocked Coulson’s arms out of the way and head butted him.
“Ah!” Coulson shouted, staggering back. Fury executed a roundhouse kick only for Coulson to catch it and chop his leg.
“Grah!” Fury groaned, pulling his leg back.
“Yaaa!!!” Josh yelled, running from behind as Fury grabbed his arm and spun him into the desk, shattering it. “Owwwww!!!” Josh screamed in pain. Coulson punched but Fury caught it and gave him five body blows. Coulson broke free, blocked the sixth, then backhanded Fury. As Fury was recovering, Coulson ran off of the wall and kicked Fury into the window. Fury grabbed the ledge and slowly pulled himself up. Josh looked, then his eyes widened.
“Look! Coulson look!” He shouted, pointing. “Look at his reflection!” Coulson looked at Fury’s reflection in the window to see Loki, the God of Mischief, on the other end.
“Loki.” Coulson growled.
“I thought you said you checked for telepathy?” Josh asked.
“It isn’t telepathy, it’s magic.”
“Well, well.” Loki said. “Cat’s out of the bag.”
“Get out of Director Fury, now.” Coulson ordered.
“Honestly Coulson, you’d think dying once would be enough for one man.” Loki replied.
“Out. Now.” Coulson demanded.
“I guess there’s no use for him anymore, now that my chance to get into Doom’s secret group is thwarted.”
“What are you talking about?” Josh asked.
“I’ve already said too much.” Loki replied. “But on the plus side, I could keep this body and do some real damage to you feeble minded mortals. After all, you are the only two people who know…” He pointed to Josh. “You look like an easy kill.”
“Hey!” Josh exclaimed.
“And Coulson, well, I did it once, I’m sure I can do it again.”
“You’re dead.” Coulson said. He ran at ‘Fury’ with full force. ‘Fury’ tried to block but Coulson tackled him to the ground and began pounding away. He pounded and pounded and pounded. Josh sat up.
“Uh oh…” He said, as Coulson continued the punch ‘Fury’ in the face. “Coulson… Coulson stop! That’s still Fury!” Coulson stopped, breathing heavily.
“Oh, come now, don’t stop…” Loki said. “It was just getting good.”
“We’ll detain you, and find a way to get you out.” Coulson said. “And then we’ll lock you away for good.”
“You really won’t kill this man, will you?” Loki said. “Is it because you respect him? Tell me, do you think he shares that same respect?”
“Without a doubt.” Coulson replied.
“Really? Did he ever tell you how exactly you came back from the dead?”
“I was out for forty seconds, they revived me.”
“Were you? I’ve spent all week in this body, and oh, the secrets I’ve learned…”
“But how can you be sure?” Suddenly Josh shoved Coulson off of ‘Fury’ and popped a pair of Snikt Claws.
“Coulson may not kill you, but I will!” Josh shouted.
“You wouldn’t…” Loki replied.
“Fury just tossed me in jail! I’m a bit fed up with his antics!”
“What would killing him gain you?”
“Director of S.H.I.E.L.D!”
“The woman is next in line!”
“Then I’ll kill her, and the next guy, and the next guy until it lands on me! Then I’ll be a director again! I’ll have power again!”
“I’m not mad!” Josh shouted, his eye twitching. “I’m Ka-raaaaaaazayyyyyy!!!!!!”
“Gyah!” Loki screamed in fear. Suddenly Fury closed his eye, then opened it again.
“What… What just…” He saw Josh on top of him with the Snikt Claws and Coulson on the ground next to him. “What in the name of Grandma Moses is going on!” He shouted.
“Oh, hello Director.” Josh said, as he pushed him off.
“Loki took over your body sir.” Coulson replied. “We got him out.”
“Really?” Fury said, rubbing his head.
“It was mainly me though.” Josh said.
“Was it mainly you punching me in the face too?” Fury asked, rubbing his jaw.
“No! That was Coulson!”
“No it wasn’t.” Coulson lied.
“I believe Coulson.” Fury said.
“Unbelievable!” Josh shouted, standing up. “I’m going back to E.G.G!”
“Hey Westbrook.” Fury called. Josh looked back. “Thanks.”
“…You’re welcome.” Josh said. Coulson approached him and held out his hand.
“I should thank you too.” He said, shaking hands. “You’re a good partner, and you did the right thing back there, stopping me.”
“Yeah, guess you aren’t so emotionless after all, huh?” Josh said. Coulson smiled.
“And you… well… you’re still pretty clingy.” Josh laughed.
“Yeah, okay. See you around Coulson.” Coulson nodded as Josh left the Helicarrier.
* * *
“It was kind of crazy.” Josh said. “You know, but I guess Tahiti is a magical place. Anyways, your buddy Loki was behind the whole thing, and you know, Coulson has some bottled up anger about that whole situation. Luckily Loki ran scared when I went all James Brown on his butt. Still though, he raised some interesting questions. Like how did Coulson really come back to life? And can S.H.I.E.L.D do it for me… Ah, questions for another day.” He sighed. “You know what? You’re a really good listener.” He looked up at Amora the Enchantress lying unconscious on the bed in the medical bay. “Glad we had this talk.” He patted her arm, got up, and left the room.
Eileen and Acacia sat in the Feeding Pen alone, talking to each other.
“Do you know why?” Acacia asked.
“Well, Maya described my Extremis powers as side effects.” Eileen replied. “I don’t know, maybe they were never supposed to be there in the first place. Maybe the Xtractor eliminates more than just the X-gene…”
“Hey!” Josh called, walking in. They both sat up quickly.
“Josh, hey!” Eileen said. “How was your little field trip with Hill?”
“Eh, same old, same old.”
“Is that why you’re wearing a S.H.I.E.L.D uniform?” Josh looked down.
“Oh… well you know, throwback Thursday.”
“It’s Monday.” Acacia noted.
“Well aren’t you so smart? Did you guys finish the invention?”
“It didn’t work.” Eileen said.
“Didn’t… man! I was banking on this one!”
“Sorry we’re video game manufacturers Josh, we can’t make a PlayStation 5.”
“We were close though!”
“Not really.” Acacia said. Josh sighed.
“Hey, on a completely unrelated note, do you guys think I’m clingy?”
“Yes.” They replied simultaneously.
“You tried to kill me when you lost your position as Director.” Eileen said, folding her arms. Josh frowned.
“Who told you that you were clingy?” Acacia asked.
“Oh, no one special.” Josh said, smiling. “Just a legend. An awesome, living legend.”
That's it! Make sure you tune in next week for more exciting adventures from E.G.G!