ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Emperor Rage: A Short Story: Part One

Updated on December 15, 2016
wingedcentaur profile image

The first step is to know what you do not know. The second step is to ask the right questions. I reserve the right to lean on my ignorance.




Revenge is my light, Revenge is my right.

Revenge so sweet, Revenge so nice.

To put things right.

I'll pay any price.

To break any might.


Some time after the Second Resurrection, but before the Gender Transition of Christ.

The Great Lord Master Rage had been kind enough to grant an interview to the Solaraxia InfoBlip Photon Beam Service. Transmitting to zillions of households across the galaxies since 40,132 S.C.C. (Sex Change of Christ).

The man on the spot was the senior political editor for the Harmony Quadrant, Lonely Worship.

Lonely and his crew touched down at the Rainbow City Space Port, on New Terraformed Saturn, the new imperial capital center. Emperor Rage had provided that the reporter and his entourage be brought to him, at the Diamond-Wafer Palace atop his mountain stronghold.

The caravan was escorted by a detachment of His Majesty's crack shock troops: tall, straight, proud, and brightly-uniformed warriors all. Led by the tallest, straightest, proudest, most brightly-uniformed warrior of them all: the Dread Captain Lord Ice-Fire.

You would think traveling atop a genetically engineered flying shark is uncomfortable. But you'd be wrong. Skin so smooth and silky. They exude a special odorless, non-greasy chemical that makes it impossible for you to slip off.

They flew low, merely dozens of feet above the ground. The air smelled like eucalyptus and peppermint. Streams of luminously-attired citizens came out to greet them. Even some of the wildlife seemed to present themselves at attention, almost as if awaiting review.

It was night-cycle on New Saturn. But the night is never dark and dreary on this world. For there is the endless rhythm of incandescent, multi-colored explosion.

The entire caravan prostrated themselves at the feet of the Great Lord Master Rage, who greeted Lonely and his crew with all the magnanimous warmth of the most gracious of hosts. Then, addressing himself specifically to Lonely, the monarch asked how he'd enjoyed his journey to the Palace and what he thought of New Terraformed Saturn so far.

"Magnificent," Lonely said.

"Our whole planet put on a little show just for you."

Then, assorted staff breezed the two of them along to the spot where the interview would take place. Cosmetic Control descended upon the pair to do the make up.

Once that was done, the equipment all set up, and everything ready to go, Lonely welcomed viewers to the program, thanking them for tuning in. He gave his name, title, and network affiliation. He introduced the interviewee, giving his full regal title in all solemnity.

"My Liege, thank you for making some time for us today."

"Not at all, Lonely. Not at all. Always happy to accommodate a journalist of your stature. And please, call me Rage."

Then Lonely did it. He giggled like a school girl and blushed a beet red. Right then, right there. In full view of zillions.

Nothing to be done about it now. They were broadcasting live.

Lonely Worship had always been a sharp dresser. Not a hair out of place. Well put together. He favored distinctive, if not overly loud, color combinations to really mark himself out of the crowd.

But times had changed. Adapt or die. And Lonely, ever the bootlick to power, was experimenting with a more understated, more rough-hewn, slightly unkempt approach seemingly favored by their new imperial masters.

Lonely began by congratulating Rage on his ascension. Leaving out for the time being, the multi-world slaughter and devastation his forces had wrought to bring him to this point. New Mars, for example, might be habitable again, one day, a century or so from now.

Lonely extracted a general biography for background: family background, education, first interest in politics, mentors, protégés. That kind of thing. They talked in general terms about Rage's governing philosophy, plans for his administration, kinds of policies he would advocate for, and reforms he would implement.

Then, the senior political editor turned the forum entirely over to the new emperor. To speak in his own words. Unfiltered and uncensored. To explain and justify himself. To say why he had commenced the insurrection. To say why he had brought down such furious wrath upon worlds.

End of Part One.

Thank you for reading and stay tuned for part two.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • wingedcentaur profile imageAUTHOR

      William Thomas 

      3 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      Thanks, Cam! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

      Take care. :)

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 

      3 years ago from Flagstaff, AZ

      Absurdly funny, creative and entertaining. So much detail, it seems real. Great job, wingedcentaur.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)