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Everything You Wanted Know About Spryte...But Were Afraid To Ask (which was probably a good thing)
Fluffy was really good at holding still for pictures...
This hub is dedicated to Zsuzsy Bee who asked for more information on life with spryte's dead pet squirrel, Fluffy.
*WARNING - THIS HUB CONTAINS MATERIAL OF AN ADULT NATURE WATERED DOWN TO MEET HUBPAGE REQUIREMENTS...BUT WILL STILL NONETHELESS MANAGE TO OFFEND SOMEBODY (or at least I hope so).
My sketch of what spryte looks like after a rare bath...
One of the things I enjoyed most about IRC (internet relay chat) was creating a persona and then attempting to interact with people while remaining totally within the character of my creation. I wasn't a typical chatter and the idea of just hanging out and rehashing the daily events of my life held no appeal to me whatsoever.
In the early 1990's I retired my normal nickname and took on the character of a tiny little imp that I named spryte. Not wanting her to be even remotely sexual, I gave her a child's disposition and a rather grubby façade, encouraging people to actually be physically repulsed by her poor grooming habits. Recalling some of my favorite cartoons, especially the ones involving Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner, I gave her a genus and species name of Impus Inyerlapus, to explain her propensity for climbing up into the laps of men that she truly wanted to annoy. The results were often comical as these gentlemen were hanging about to meet attractive and interesting women and suddenly they'd find this repulsive, dangerous, and yet oddly endearing creature perched on their knee smiling at them with pointy little teeth.
Realizing that I needed an arsenal at my disposal to deal with whatever situation might come up, I gave spryte very deep and mysterious pockets. Sometimes she would offer gummy bears covered in lint to those she liked, other times she would extract a rusty Altoid's tin with the intention of doing a show and tell of her favorite booger collection. These were her treasures. But none of these compared with her absolute favorite...Fluffy, her pet squirrel. The fact that Fluffy had long since passed the stages of rigor mortis was unimportant. In spryte's eyes, he was "just downright ‘zhausted' or "'stremely relaxed." How she acquired Fluffy remains a mystery...but there is a strong suspicion that she hugged him to death and they've been friends ever since.
Dragonsbreath was very sad...
One day, during her travels, spryte stumbled upon a place called Bondage Castle and decided to stay a while. The owner of the place, Dragonsbreath, seemed rather depressed and lonely, his mood infecting the whole room to the point where everyone seemed on the verge of deserting the castle. Spryte's mission seemed obvious to her and so she wiped her hand on her dress and extended it to Dragonsbreath, introducing herself as his new best friend.
While his skepticism was warranted, Dragonsbreath decided it was probably safer to humor the tiny abomination for a while in the hope that it would move on. Unfazed, spryte slowly pried into the affairs of the castle owner and was often seen whispering in his ear as he glumly sat upon his throne. Little by little the shadow lifted as she imparted her wisdom and infectious hope into the heart of the dragon, worming her way into his benevolent graces. The general inhabitants weren't sure why things were changing, but they were glad that their fearless leader was not so sad anymore. Not one of them attributed the change to the ill-mannered and badly dressed imp who sat quietly at his feet like a ratty little kitten.
Judging that it was time, spryte walked into the castle one day and directly up to Dragonsbreath. Imperiously she raised her chubby arms, looked at Dragonsbreath solemnly and said, "Up." With a benevolent smile, Dragonsbreath bent from his throne and picked up the imp, placing her firmly on his knee. The inhabitants were stunned. Who was this creature? Was she Dragonsbreath's new submissive? But if she was a submissive...why had he indulged her in commanding him?
I can tell you that spryte was definitely not a submissive, even though her name began with a small "s," which is the way all submissives are identified. Likewise, all Doms and Dommes names began with capital letters. No...spryte was something altogether new to the castle, but something that was sorely needed. Spryte was the fool...Dragonbreath's personal jester, often referred to by the inhabitants as the castle pit bull.
The court jester
It was a fun job...and an interesting position to be in. Surrounded by this alternative sexual lifestyle that I knew next to nothing about, I was always learning and to my utter surprise, it didn't repulse me in the least. In fact, while I had no inclinations toward that lifestyle myself, I actually respected it when practiced in its truest form.
Let me explain a bit.
It's not really about whips and chains...unless that is what the submissive wishes. Understand, the true power of the relationship is in the hands of the submissive. They have this need to be...controlled, dominated by an authority figure, unable to allow themselves pleasure without it. They are probably the most eager to please people in the universe. Yet, only they can give this power to somebody.
Imagine the abuse that could happen when this power is given to the wrong person...an imposter Dom/Domme that simply gets off on exerting his/her power over a victim. A true Dom/Domme is like a good parent...patient, kind, firm and commanding respect because he/she has earned it.
For the most part, I found the submissives of the castle to be a joyful bunch and without hesitation they welcomed spryte into the fold because Dragonsbreath had accepted her. Besides, spryte was a lot of fun and since a lot of submissives have a tendency to be rather mischievous and playful, it didn't take a lot of coercion to get them to go along with whatever the cheeky little imp had in mind.
The Dom/Dommes were a different story.
There were some in the castle that thought I was there to ridicule them and their lifestyle. They feared the power they imagined that I had over the castle's king and questioned his authority. In response, Dragonsbreath simply armed me with a Super Soaker and a blowgun (I supplied my own stale jelly beans), telling me to do whatever I liked. And I did...with a vengeance.
Before long, half the Dom/Dommes decamped and moved onto other places where they could rule with an iron and somber fist. It was like the last vestiges of gloom and doom left the castle with their departure and mayhem ruled. Dragonsbreath declared a celebration by decreeing a day where all Dom/Dommes must switch places with their submissives. *smiles remembering* It was a good day.
Before too long, the castle gained the reputation of being a fun place to be and new blood began to trickle in. Of course, this presented a problem...
Never trust a smiling pitbull
With all the influx of new Dom/Dommes some were bound to be phonies. It was spryte's job to ferret these out and send them packing. It was the one thing I really enjoyed doing...exposing these frauds.
Imagine with me if you will...your average Dom wannabe. You've trolled several channels looking for sex and figured why not just take advantage of a female submissive. All you have to do is act all tough and authoritative, right? Wrong. First you have to get by me.
You sit self-importantly in the castle, taking your time, flirting with the submissives thinking you have it made. But see...the submissives know my job and until I say it's okay, they'll stay tantalizingly out of your reach. Oh...you want one of them really bad and you are pretty sure the feeling is mutual. The submissives are that good...they want you to be all lust-riddled because it makes my job easier.
Out of nowhere, a rather foul-smelling creature picking the remains of her dinner from her teeth suddenly climbs into your lap and smiles at you. It's about as sexy as having your five year old hop into bed with you and your wife when you would rather the child be in its OWN bed.
"Know what?" the imp says tugging on your sleeve.
Annoyed, you figure if you play along, the disgusting little creature will go away and leave you to what you came for. "What?"
Unperturbed, spryte picks her nose and examines the booger on her finger before reaching into her pocket, pulling out the Altoid's case and placing her new treasure within. "Wanna gummy bear?" she asks with a tilt of her head, trying her best to be utterly charming.
"No! I don't want a gummy bear. Will you go away?" you might say in frustration.
Already, spryte knows you are a phony...and now to the immense pleasure of the rest of the castle, having exposed you...she will now play with you until you lose complete control of yourself.
Doms NEVER lose their temper that easily with a submissive. EVER. Slowly...ever so slowly, spryte's vocabulary expands going from a child to a rather frighteningly perceptive adult bent on your total destruction. Why? Simply because it amuses her to do so. Make no mistake, you WILL leave the castle with your tail tightly tucked between your legs.
You would think that with this sort of guest treatment that our Dom/Domme population would be rather diminished. In fact, it was just the opposite...and our room drew the best of the best. Accomplishing that, more submissives soon dropped in and made themselves at home knowing they were completely safe.
When I wasn't busy playing the castle's watch dog, I engaged in improvisational mayhem and comedy...just as any good fool would. My favorite co-conspirator in these crimes was a submissive named rook. On one particular day, he had stolen Fluffy and was playing a rather mean game of keep-a-way with my beloved pet...even going so far as to catapult my dead rodent through the air while yelling, "Look! A flying squirrel!" This of course left me no choice but to beat the ever lovin' snot out of him.
In the middle of this chaotic battle, a contingent of former resident Doms/Dommes strode in. Their ringleader was named SirB, who in real life was an Australian government official and the only Dom that I was deathly afraid of...seriously...in text he was one scary dude.
"Spryte!" he yelled..."Come HERE...now!"
Understand, I took a lot of liberties in my position at the castle...but there was a certain line I never crossed, which is why I was successful. I never questioned the authority of a true Dom or Domme. Well...at least not openly or in a way that was overly impertinent...maybe somewhat impertinent...but hey, I had to stay in character.
In a rather comically woebegone fashion I dragged poor spryte up to SirB. To his credit, rook never left my side, even going so far as to reach out and take my hand in support.
"What do you think you are doing?" SirB inquired in his rather intimidating voice.
"Nuffin...well...playin' I guess but only cuz rook took Fluffy n' you know how much I love Fluffy...almost as much as I love my booger collection...well maybe a bit more cuz Fluffy and I...well we've been together for a long time n'...."
SirB held up a hand. "Enough, spryte...ENOUGH. Haven't you destroyed our lifestyle enough with your mockery of it? Don't you realize you aren't wanted here? Your foolishness has been tolerated long enough. We all just wish you would leave."
The room went quiet...and nobody said anything. Not even Dragonsbreath...
Not wanted? They wanted me to leave?
At home, sitting safely at my keyboard, surrounded by the reality and comfort of my life, I felt as if I had been slapped. My cheeks burned with humiliation and tears welled up in my eyes. Silly, huh? But that had stung. Not wanted...as in "go home spryte...we don't want you."
When nobody said anything in my defense...I decided perhaps SirB was right. Maybe I was just an annoyance and with me gone they could go back to their happy little life of whips and chains. Without a word, I clicked the button that would exit me from the room.
There I sat, in utter limbo, licking my wounds and trying to figure out where spryte should go now that she was homeless. I was angry...and sad at the same time. Damn...I thought they liked me...at least a little. Hadn't we had a lot of fun together? Wasn't the room a happier place? Perhaps I had been wrong though...maybe I'd gone a little too far once or twice.
Dragonsbreath: Well...aren't you going to come back?
I wiped my eyes and blew my nose into a Kleenex.
spryte: Nobody wants me.
Dragonsbreath: You silly brat...of course we want you. We just expected you would tear him apart yourself. Imagine our shock when you actually left!
Dragonsbreath: LOL...yeah. Really. Do you want to know what happened after you left?
Dragonsbreath: Several people became very upset with SirB and so he foolishly took a vote...you or him. Guess who won?
Dragonsbreath: Yes. Now...will you come back home?
*spryte smiles widely*
Dragonsbreath and I ruled the castle together for a few years and it was a very happy place to be...well as happy as any place devoted to BDSM (bondage, dominance and sado-masochism) can be.
So that's the story of spryte...and the whole reference to Fluffy, her dead pet squirrel. It probably wasn't quite what you expected to find out...but as I've told you, next to spryte...I'm rather dull.
You might be a submissive if...
...More often than not, at parties, you find yourself adorned with battery operated accoutrements.
...The local tack store has started to hide their crops when they see you walk through the door.
...The local hardware store sends you a Christmas card every year.
...You have locked cabinets so that the neighbors will not see your 'toys'.
...You can't let anyone see your charge card bill because most of it is from Dungeon Depot.
...When you eat, it is out of a dog dish.
...The mailman brings more than one package a week in a brown paper wrapper.
...When everyone else is saying they should have bought stock in Microsoft, you're wishing you'd bought stock in Master locks.
...You have to ask permission to ask permission.
...The company accountant wants to know if floggers should be categorized as office supplies.
...You have more fetish wear than 'normal' clothing
...You have more than one gas mask and have never been in the military.
...When you visit a doctor you have to tell him that the bruises and marks are not from spousal abuse.
...When you go for x-rays, you have to explain that the piercing in your nipples aren't removable.
...You can't make it through a metal detector in the airport because of all your piercings.
...When you go to the movies, your Owner sits in the aisle seat while you sit 'in' the aisle on your knees.
...You have not sat on top of a piece of furniture in years.
...The family dog runs free because you are wearing his leash.