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Exhausting My Resources
Lost In The World
I am exhausted.
I look around at everything I am doing. The myriad of proverbial pies that I have my fingers in, and the pile of clothes laying on my lounge. There is a load in the dryer. I can't even make myself go get. What would be the point? Adding the clean clothes to the pile that may or may not be clean?
The "boys" came on Thursday. Two black male kittens about 6 months old that I rescued before they were born actually, by bringing their mother in so the neighborhood dogs didn't get the new litter. They have decided that chewing my roses is a flavorable experience. Yes, as in flavor, not favor. Believe me I am not feeling very favorable about it. They aren't really that much trouble but the playing while I am trying to sleep is probably not helping my exhaustion much.
Last years files, once nicely separated into semi-neat stacks are now co-mingled on the floor, thanks to the "boys" help. I had intended to get taxes sorted this week-end, but I am out of energy. The new job starts Monday at 7:30AM sharp. And, I just noticed the stack of 8 library books I failed to get to which are due next week-end. Mentally, I can't wrap my head around it. There is simply no way I will be able to get them read with my normal work schedule and the new job and my usual extra curricular activities. Certainly not in my current state of exhaustion.
It's 9:30 on a Saturday night and I am too tired for facebook, too tired for WebAnswers, too tired to tweet. To think of exercising makes me think I would prefer to slip into a coma. And, why I am writing a hub is beyond me.
I have spent the last three months being in a cold more than I have been out of one. I haven't been able to recover and yet I am now on the brink of venturing into even more space where I will have less time for my own recuperation from the winter. Last night I dreamed about abundance and thinking of all the things that show up abundantly in my life. I had images of snow flakes and how abundantly they have fallen this winter. I had images of molecules and how abundantly they make up the universe.
In the dream I saw an abundance of thoughts and ideas and I honed in on a phrase. Locked in on it and pointed and said - I own you! I don't know what the phrase was now, only that I chose it and that I own it. I hope it was a good one. It was in regards to abundance...I hope it wasn't that I was abundant in tiredness.
I am waking up lost in the world
And I am coming down into it
Exhausted I close my eyes to sleep
My body aching and tense
I don't remember ever being this tired
Just from living my life