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FACEBOOK CHANGES LIVES - Divorce Rates Climb On Social Sites
So, here it is. A friend gets you to join Facebook so you can view her family photo's on-line with all of her other close friends. You have avoided social sites like the plague for many years now. Security and privacy issues, neurotic about old flames, getting bothered by crazy people. You name it and it is there for you to see and experience on Facebook!
I have experienced "stalkers," high school fights over men on their walls (them, not me), religious arguments and politics that piss others off. I have decided as a rule not to answer anything that mentions religion, politics or insults about people I do not know. There have been "wall attacks" on quite a few occasions when someone does not agree with a post. I have seen others take their issue out in a rant of some sort and I have also had an obsessive freak I knew in the high school days make up lots of stories about me. It turns out his obsession was with anyone he could not get. Another woman who he harassed and posted very horrible and hateful posts about her had to finally take him to court. I wrote to the judge to show that I hardly had anything to do with him. Meanwhile he told lots of people we had a full blown sexual relationship. This is the sort of thing that happens on Facebook. You just never know who has "lost a screw."
At one point I defended a very close friend of mine over a loan that was never paid back and then the guilty party removed me and so did a few of her friends. A few other women that wanted my close friend for his money hated me when I told them the truth (to protect him) and realized they were not getting anywhere so they decided to "not be my virtual friend." Oh, BIG loss! ha The list goes on and on but the one thing I have learned is that there is a very specific way to navigate Facebook if you want to cultivate a nice feeling there with friends.
Negative posts never help anyone. It is good to voice your opinion and show it there but if you do it a lot, you just come across as a "Bah Humbug" sort of person. People have enough negative things happening in their lives (financial struggles, family issues and other). Most people want to see something "positive." There have been times that I have had a hard day but turned it around by posting something "positive." Just by doing that you evoke a good feeling and response which in turn lifts your spirits. Try it!
I have seen more divorces recently on Facebook in the past year or so. Facebook has a way of making you feel like you are wanted in a virtual way. If you have any self esteem issues, Facebook is the place for you! You can lie about anything and feel like a God. It will last for awhile until people see how stupid you are in your posts. No matter how good-looking you are and talented, the truth usually shows. It's ok to "toot" your own horn though. That is always a good thing. Everyone should like themselves.
The article below gives you an idea of what's going on with Facebook and divorce.
Divorce & Facebook
Why People Leave
Why stay when there is so much out there in "virtual land." People who provoke memories and are so much more passionate then your current flame? It is not reality but an easy escape from a mundane and boring life. That is why social sites are so big now. My story started four years ago when I started writing a blog and came out of my shell and slowly out of a very bad marriage. I gained confidence as I kept writing and I found myself again in a positive way. Something had to suffer and the reason why it did is that I was not living in a healthy and loving relationship. As I wrote more about my feelings, I was able to realize what was wrong in my life. Meeting an amazing person on-line that turned into a "whirlwind love affair" just made my exit easier. On Facebook I have been asked out by so many people that I wonder if they really understand the reality of love? I have been inspired by quirt a few men on Facebook when it comes to writing, but I have never taken it further then just that. It has been great for coming up with scenarios and creating new poems I tell you!! But the reality is that none of them would even work in my real life when it comes down to it. It's fun to dream though. Who knows?
I have had many pursuers that borderline the word "insane" when it comes to them falling for me on Facebook. I have had to remove quite a few men from my friends list, ignore friend requests from international Generals in the army and tell some politely that "it's ok, I'm glad you find me amazing but...."
If they knew my real life they would know that I have no time for them or a relationship right now and I try to fit that special someone in even though it is a HUGE challenge but worth it. It is nice to feel LOVED in a virtual sort of way though. Makes life a lot less lonely sometimes when my life is always really busy.
Making Great Friends
On a very positive note, I have made some amazing international friends on Facebook and some I consider part of my inner circle which says a lot. I plan on meeting them all one day and it will start this summer when I venture off to Ireland, Vienna and London (which I go to on business often anyway). The poetry groups that I am part of have some amazing people and talent in them. This alone has inspired me and has helped me branch out to different countries with my writing. My music has already helped me make relationships in other countries, but writing is a different media. I love writers because most of them have real lives and have this amazing imaginary world in their writing. So much fun!!
This really excites me because I love meeting new people and finding out about their lives and different cultures. I plan on traveling a lot in the future.
Unfortunately it is really hard to really find out about someone on Facebook. You can see their comments and their posts but no one really knows the real story. This has happened to me quite a few times when I did not really look into the persons background. I will make allowances but when it comes to really getting close to someone, I'm really careful. Please do your research or ask others about this person who know them in real life if you have any questions.....Have fun!
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So the one thing I have noticed is that with age comes brutal honesty. After all it is harder for one to run from oneself when you get too tired to run at all. Right? I mean I was thinking at one point of moving and having a very "normal&