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Updated on August 28, 2014

It's been three months that I left my loved ones. And every single day it had been so hard. Every day I almost came back. But I had to force myself to stay where I was. I had to remind myself that it was better for everyone, including me.
But it was hard when I continued to have those dreams about Danila and being pregnant. And the dream was always the same. It always stopped at me blacking out.

When I woke up, it was like I was still in the dream. Because like my dream I woke up with my breasts being saw. I didn't have to think about my ovaries. But I tried to see if I was still dreaming. But a pinch told me I wasn't. I knew I was going to get a bruise from that. I was covered in bruises.

I went to the chemist, and then the doctor and I was revealed that my dream was true with three hours. I was over joyed and knowing what I know I knew I had to go back. I needed to tell Danila. He needed to know. So I pack the little things that I had and called a taxi. I couldn't drive lately.
I waited twenty minutes for the cab driver and when I told him where to go, we were off.

'Do you mind if we sit for awhile, I'll give a big tip.'

'I can wait. I don't expect anything,' he looked at me.

' Why?'

' Ok. I do want something,'

I eyed him. Because I didn't expect to hear that. I mean he was an alright looking guy ghat I think was in his late twenties. And if I wasn't so hung up on Danila I would go for him. But he saw how awful I looked, so how could he say something like that.

'No,' he chuckled. And it was a nice chuckle too. 'I was going to ask if I could have a couple of autographs.'

It shocked me. Because he knew who I was. And that it had been a long time since someone had asked for my autograph.

'You know who I am?' I asked

'Ofcourse. My sister and I are huge fans. I'm waiting for your next book to be published. My sister was upset that you canceled your last movie.'

It made me so happy that I had a couple of fans. I didn't know I was still loved in the industry. I thought I was forgotten, but apparently not.

'Ok. Give me something that I can scribble on.' He gave his diary over. And I scribbled my autograph on two different pages.

'My next book should be next month... So what's your name?'

'Tobie Lutz.'

I saw my guys appear where my dream showed me. So I gave over a couple of hundred dollars and started to hope out.

'It was nice to meet you Tobie. Can you just chuck my things on the grass?'

'It's was nice to meet you too, ' he smiled.

I was happy that I had made someone's day today. But now I couldn't help but be a little scared. Because I didn't know how Danila was going to act when he sees me. How he was going to see me on the lines of death. Because I knew I looked awful. I was very skinny, had bruises all over me. And I could barely walk.
But I slowly made my way to them, limping as I was walking. And just like the dream Danila was the first to see me. He must have sensed me, because he had his back to me. But when he saw that it was me, he raced over. And like the dream, he didn't touch me.
I looked into his eye's for the shortest time. But in that shortest time I saw everything. I saw our past. And . . . And our future.

'I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have come back. I didn't want you to see my like this. But. . There is some th-'

I suddenly felt dizzy, and I started to fall. I was going to hit the ground and all I could think about was 'This is it.' That I didn't have the chance to say I loved him. Or that I was pregnant.

But before I hit the ground, Danila grabbed me and held me to his chest. I started to hear him sob, telling me not to leave him again. That he loved me. I wanted to cry, but I felt too weak. I began to hear Tom and Zoe. But blacked out before I could understand what was going on.

* * *

I started to hear familiar voices but I couldn't open my eyes. It was like they were glued shut. I heard Tom and Danila arguing. I didn't want them fighting. Especially when I could be dying. I wanted them to always love each other. I was glad when I heard Zoe's voice.

'Stop, she'll be able to hear you.' Zoe said.

There was silence then. Shortly after I felt someone touch my hand. I knew it was Danila, because of that electricity that shot up my arm. But I couldn't help but notice that it was weak.
I think that, that electric feeling up my arm made me open my eyes. I slowly opened them, blinking a few times. And when I got my vision back I noticed that they took me to the pool house. I was greatful that I wasn't in a hospital bed. When Danila saw that I had woken up, he laid his head on my chest and sobbed.

'Oh thank. I was so scared that I was going to lose you for good.'

'I. I'

I found it hard to talk. My throat was so dry and sore. It was even hard to swallow. Zoe saw it, and she quickly gave me a glass of water. I took two small sips then handed it back.

'I know. My father.'

Danila sat up and looked into my eyes. I hated that the sadness that I saw was caused by me.

'You don't have to worry about him any longer.' Danila said.

'No. We patched things up. When, when I left I visited my father to make things right before I. . . He told me things. ' I took a deep breath and continued. ' He told me what you two are,' I looked over at Zoe. 'I have a feeling you have a secret too.' I said. 'Did you know about me?' I asked Danila.

'Not until Tom told me.'

'I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me.'

'It was forbidden. What we have, it's forbidden. And the less you knew the safer you were.'

'You should have told me. We are one no matter what.'

'I know. I'm sorry. '

' It's ok.' I smiled.

I realized that having Danila so close, it had made me feel a lot better. I couldn't deny that I was still sick. Because I was. But somehow, being next to Danila it had healed me a little. I looked around and realized that Tom and Zoe had left. I didn't notice. But know those two they wanted to give me and Danila some space.
I tried to sit up. I saw Danila debate if I should, but he helped me up anyway.

'I want to know how you'll feel if I asked you if you'll like to be like me.' He asked. I could tell he was having a hard time asking me.

' Oh Danila, I would love to. But I can't right now.' I told him.

'You'll die, if you don't.'

'I know, but if I do. If I do.'

'Amanda ,if your worried about how you'll be when you changed, I'll be here every step of the way.'

'It's not that at all. Danila I'm pregnant.'

Danila was speechless. It was like he had frozen up. It wasn't until I touched his hand that he unfroze. And when he looked me in the eyes I could see that he was excited. He was very happy. But I couldn't help but see the worry in them. I knew he couldn't help it. But I think that I could make it. As long as I had Danila, I knew I would have the health to go on.

' How long have I been asleep, ' I asked

' Nearly four weeks.' Danila frowned.

' Oh. . . All I ask is for two months.'

'Ok. I can give you that much. Amanda can you do me a favor?'

'Will you be my wife?'

'Danila of course.'

Danila kissed me, then held me tight. I wanted to get married right now. But I was starting to get tired. And hungry. That was when Tom and Zoe came back. I could tell that Tom wanted to ask me something. So I told him to spill it.

'So did you take Danila on his word,' I looked at him and I could tell that he didn't really want me to be turned.

' Not yet. But I may.'

' What! You have to. I mean I admit that I am having trouble excepting it. But I would rather you here then. . Dead.'

' Relax I'm not going anywhere. But I have to wait for a reason.'

' Why? Amanda. We may not have been friends for a while, but that was for a reason. But I love you too much to see you gone for good.' That was Zoe. I hadn't expected to hear that. But it made my eye's water.

'I asked Danila if he could give me two months because if I change now it might kill our baby.'

'You what?' That came from Tom. 'I'm going to be an uncle. I'm going to cry.'

'Oh, please don't, ' Zoe said. I couldn't help but notice the flirting tone. It made Tom smile at her.

It made me wonder if I missed something when I had been sleeping. But if what I think was true, I was extremely happy for them.

'Also Amanda has agreed to marry me.'

'Leave all the details for me. When do you want to do it?' Zoe said

'How about next week. I want to get more strength. I only want a small gathering too.'

Zoe gave me this look like she wasn't going to listen. But that's what I loved and missed about Zoe. You gave her some details to do something. And she would organize something that she thought or knew you wanted. Tom and Zoe then left.
Tom's house keeper dropped off some soup, but didn't stay. She wanted to let Danila and I have some time together.

'Please lay down with me,'I said.

Danila done as I asked. He helped me lay down then laid down beside me. I then rested my head on his chest.

'So do you sleep.' I asked, and that made him laugh. 'What. I don't know anything about that side of you.'

'I'll tell you everything after you rest.'

'Ok. I love you.'

'Love you too.'


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