Face for the Radio - The View inspired rant

You're sitting at home, enjoying your cup of tea or something, listening to the radio and then there it is - a the voice you've been waiting for, for such a long time, finally comes on air, and you can't help it. You melt on the spot at that velvety/ husky/sexy (whichever) sound. Your insides are burning and you almost pass out from the sensation. You feel like you’re in love. Like you know everything about that person (anchor(wo)man) just by the way they sound.

And then one day, the radio show he/she is hosting is having a live broadcast of some event you happen to be attending. You get yourself all pampered up, ready to finally meet the voice of your dreams. You’re so anxious, you can’t even breathe properly.

Finally, you arrive at the venue and the radio booth is in front of you. You slowly make your way towards it, but he/she isn’t there. There is only one extremely fugly person there – extremely oversized; you can smell the bad odor emanating from him/her from miles away.

Where is the VOICE , you want to scream!?!?!!?

And then you hear it. The fugliness starts speaking with the voice you fantasized over for months.

You feel sick all of a sudden, and barely make it to the toilet in time.

You were in “love” with THAT?

After several days of wallowing around the house, you finally stop feeling sorry for yourself and accept your friends’ invitation to go clubbing. You get wasted, make out with several hotties on the dance floor, and have a massive hangover the next day.
However, it was worth it. It made you forget about your obsession with the Voice, and got you to, once again, concentrate on what really matters in another person – pure physical appearance!