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If you meet a boy, just keep walking.
If you don’t keep walking, don’t talk to him.
If you talk to him, don’t laugh at his jokes.
-If you laugh at his jokes, he’ll think you like him.-
(Boys are dumb that way.)
If you laugh at his jokes, don’t ask him out.
If he asks you out, do notsay yes.
If you say yes, don’t actually show up.
If you show up, don’t care about him.
If you care about him, don’t go out on another date.
If you go out on another date, don’t let that lead to more.
If another date leads to even more, don’t fall in Love.
If you fall in Love, don’t marry him.
If you marry him, don’t let your marriage fail.
And when you meet a boy, laugh at his jokes, go on a date
-then another…then another…-
When you marry him and your marriage fails,
When he trades you in for his twenty something year old secretary
And you’re left all alone
-When that happens-
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.