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Fairytale Parodies: 100 words poetic short stories
Fairytale Parodies in 100 words
CAUTION: not suitable for minors
This is another 100 words-set (I already did one to the theme 'restaurant'). The theme is ‘fairytale parodies.’ This time, however I tried to make it a bit more difficult and added rhyme and rhythm, making these stories sort of a crossbreed between fairytales, short stories and poetry. You can see them as a little experiment, I don’t think all of them worked out perfectly. I have one favourite, but I’m not going to say which, I don’t want the power of suggestion working against me. Please indicate which one you liked best in the poll below, just for curiosity’s sake.
Another thing: I had to push to the limits of my knowledge of English, and I do claim some grammatical freedom, but if you are a native, please point it out if there’s something that’s absolutely unacceptable. Then I’ll go through that counting hell again and try to fix it.
I. The Necromonger
Long ago and far away,
there rode a prince, along a winding way.
Through darkest forests he would stride
looking for a pale white bride.
Then one day, quite by chance
and pressed by want of some romance,
he came across an open chest (of glass)
in which a girl was lain to rest.
He her did bestow with so much X and O
until when, she came to breathe again.
The noble rose – appalled –
stuck up his righteous royal nose.
With great speed, he climbed his steed
and made off with haste.
For living girls, he had no taste.
Author’s note: This one, like the entire idea to lead to this pointless and time-consuming though fun process, was inspired by an interview I saw not very long ago. In it was a woman claiming how she’d gotten more critical over the years, especially when reading fairytales to her little girls. She said she asked questions she never asked as a child, like “Who is this prince? And what the hell was he doing in those woods all by himself in the anyway?!” I thought that was hilarious. I never really got the whole kissing thing in Snow-white anyway. I mean, come on, the girl was dead for God’s sakes, even if she came to life after... So there you have it. Twisted little tales like this just need that kind of onset, don’t they?
Stepmom thought, well to her glee,
as Realdad dropped onto his knee:
(I’ll call him honey, then spend all his money)
“For all my raid, I have a maid!”
When stepmom asked – after many wars –
if she’d be so kind, as to sweep the floors?
Cinderella got on her high-heeled slippers,
arranged her skirt, closed all the zippers
and at a given point, dropped her booze and joint
fresh from under the covers and her many lovers,
laughing like a goat,
she shoved the mop down stepma’s throat
filmed the whole thing through
and put it up on Youtube too.
Moral of the story: you just can’t try that sort of thing with youngsters anymore... But, to have even the moral rhyme, that would make something along the lines of “kids these days, take it from me, just aren’t what they used to be.” And sometimes it’s a damn good thing too.
III. Little Red Cap
She hopped along the forest path
“Little Red Cap, Little Red Cap”
when suddenly one cried with wrath:
“The nerve! Who comes to take my turf?”
The girl was shocked, as can be found,
she nearly tumbled to the ground.
“No, sir wolf”, said she, “no, not me.”
Then the wolf got keen, hardly could he mask it,
to find out what was in her basket.
He launched forward with a yelp,
she could not even cry for help
and from her blazer, pulled out a taser.
To her grandma she then wrote,
soon to send a new fur coat.