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Family Reunion: Flash Fiction by cam

Updated on December 17, 2016
cam8510 profile image

Chris has written more than 150 flash fiction/short stories.Working Vacation took 21st out of 6,700 in the 2016 Writer's Digest competition.

Source

Family Reunion

Wendell got out of bed at his usual rising time of 6:00 am to get ready for work, though he really wanted to pull the blankets over his head and sleep for two more hours. He decided that music might help his mood, so he switched on his radio. The show’s host was inviting everyone to join him that morning at the farmers’ market which was held every Saturday.

Wendell’s mood improved immediately. Saturday was much better than whatever day he had thought it was. He started his coffee pot and knew that this was going to be a very special morning.

He stood at his bay window, looking out across the lawn toward the horizon where the sun rose over distant hills. The sky was blue, the birds were singing and the stranger camping on his front lawn was enjoying a cup of coffee as well. Wendell headed out the door.

“Excuse me sir, but you’re camping on my front lawn.”

“Oh, hello. Yes, I am. My name is Clyde. You see I grew up on this property.

“You can’t come back here and camp on my lawn just because you happened to have lived here at some point in time.”

“Now hold on. I didn’t just live here for a little while. I spent my whole childhood here. We just wanted to come back and camp out in the yard like we did when we were kids. You know, for old time’s sake.”

“We? Did you say we?”

“Yes I did. My brother is coming too. Sort of a little family reunion.”

“You can call you brother and tell him the family reunion is off. You can’t camp in my yard.”

“Look, here he comes now.”

A thirty-six foot motorhome pulled into Wendell's driveway. Clyde ran to the rear of the vehicle to help guide it into place under an Oak tree. Wendell ran to the front to direct it back out onto the road.

When the driver of the motor home was finished parking, he got out and gave Clyde a big bear hug. Clyde introduced Wendell to his brother Clem, who gave Wendell a bear hug as well.

Before Wendell could object, the door to the motorhome flew open and slammed against the side of the vehicle. Out shot two little girls with three boys close on their heels, screaming and laughing. Horns blared as ten more vehicles turned into the driveway and parked on the grass.

Source

Wendell excused himself and went back into the house. He called the Sheriff’s Department and explained what was going on in his front yard. A few minutes later, a patrol car pulled into the driveway.“ Howdy Wendell,” said the Deputy. “Are you having a family reunion?”

“No...yes, I mean, no.” Well I’m not, but they are.” At that point, Clyde and Clem walked up.

“Well if it ain’t our old pal, Ernie,” said Clyde. “We haven’t seen you since we were teenagers.”

“Clyde? Clem?” said the Deputy. “I can’t believe this. It’s great to see you guys.”

“Are you a Sheriff now, Ernie?” asked Clem.

“Oh no, just a deputy. But, maybe someday.”

“I hate to break up this little get-together, but I need to talk to the Deputy for a few minutes in the house.” Wendell escorted the officer inside.

“Ernie, I want you to get those people to leave. They’re trespassing on my property.”

“Those two men are old friends of mine, Wendell. They grew up here. I’m sure they just want to hang out at the old place for the weekend, then they’ll be gone.”

Wendell was speechless. The Deputy thought he was finished talking and walked back outside.

Source

Wendell followed, intending to object, but was distracted when he saw that someone was assembling a very large, above-the-ground, swimming pool.

People were setting up tents, charcoal grills and a homemade ice cream maker. Things were far beyond getting out of hand. The situation was hopeless. Wendell went back into the house and closed the door.

With a large bag in each hand, Wendell exited the house and tossed the bags into the back of his truck.

“Where you off to?” asked the Deputy.

“I’m going fishing and camping,” said Wendell. “I’ll see you later, Ernie.”

Source

Later that night, bluegill sizzled in a frying pan over Wendell's fire. Headlights swept across the campsite. A door slammed closed and headlights flickered as someone passed in front of the vehicle.

“Wendell, what are you doing in my front yard?”

“Camping, Ernie. I’m camping.”

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    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 3 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

      wingedcentaur, I have to say, I really like this story too. I had a blast writing it, and I've put it through several rewrites to get it to this point. I appreciate your thoughts on the story.

    • wingedcentaur profile image

      William Thomas 3 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      Hi cam8510! Voted 'up,' 'funny,' and 'awesome.'

      This story, right here, is some classic "payback." I love the ending. I thought to myself, "Yes, see how you like it, you Mayberry jerk!" about the deputy. And may I say, it is quite appropriate that you show a picture of that ultimate rube, country deputy who couldn't be a dogcatcher in a decent jurisdiction, Barney Fife.

      Well done!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 3 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Funny and up! Indeed, an eye for an eye...

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 3 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

      Hi Jo, Thanks for commenting. This is a favorite of mine just because of that ending. I remember when it first came to me and I started laughing out loud.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 3 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Cam, nicely done! Always remember the golden rule. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Succinctly demonstrated.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 3 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

      Thanks Ruby. Sorry, but I'm still having a little trouble smiling at the moment. But I do appreciate you for reading my story that at the moment looks to me to be rather trivial.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I'm still grinning. I loved your funny story. What a hoot!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Hahaha I love this one, Cam! So funny. I can just see them camping out on the lawn of their childhood home ... what is good for one is good for the other no doubt.

      Sometimes we drive by our childhood home, and it is hard not to stop and want to go on the property and even into the house ...just because. It looks so different now though.

      Up +++ tweeting, pinning and sharing

      Fun read.

    • Uzochukwu Mike profile image

      Uzochukw Mike 3 years ago from Oba

      An interesting story. Glad to come across this hub.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 3 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

      Kristen, thanks for the excellent endorsement for this story. It's one of my personal favorites. Have a great weekend.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 3 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

      Peg, aha, so this strategy has actually been proven in the real world. Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it.

    • Kristen Howe profile image

      Kristen Howe 3 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Nice flash fiction there. It's perfect for comedy with tons of humor. Voted up!

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 3 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      What a Barney! This is true Karma and very funny. Thanks for the smile this morning.

      There used to be a guy on a motorcycle that did practice runs across the front of our property. One day I chased him down with the car, honking until he stopped. I asked him where he lived so I could drive my ATV on his property. He never came back.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 3 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

      Mary, glad I could give you a bit of a chuckle on a fine Saturday morning.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 3 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

      Hi Will, Barney just made this too easy. Have a great weekend.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 3 years ago from New York

      You're a wonder. This was a great read and yes, I laughed out loud too. The ending was perfect and maybe taught poor old Barney a thing or two. How nice to read something worth reading that's funny too!

      Voted up, funny, and awesome.

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 3 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      I love it! Sweet revenge!

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 3 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

      Ann, If Clyde and Clem could camp in Wendell's yard, Wendell most certainly can camp in the deputy's yard. That's country justice.

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 3 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

      Frank, no, not really, but I had to use everybody's favorite deputy. Barney would have tossed them in the cell next to Otis Campbell.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 3 years ago from SW England

      Concise, funny and punchy; love it! Your stories get better and better; this one made me laugh out loud. I like this guy's thinking.

      Ann

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      cute little back country type flash.. Cam the deputy isn't really Barney Fife, right? LOL

    • cam8510 profile image
      Author

      Chris Mills 3 years ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

      Thanks Sally, have a great weekend.

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 3 years ago from Norfolk

      Great story, it certainly made me chuckle.

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