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The Smurfs of Suzy And Machine Gun Kelly

Updated on June 27, 2012

The Smurfs Of Suzy And Machine Gun Kelly

Tuesday, August 10, 2010




 There is nothing wrong with having large smurfs because my wife Joann and I have been sporting large smurfs ever since the darn diabetes took hold of our rumps plus middle age, but Suzy had more smurf than a charging Rhino , and what made matters worst, she loved to wear cute short cotton frilly skirts. Them skirts sure enough kept her main hunk and squeeze, Mr Machine Gun Kelly as fast and as horny on the draw as hell , loading and reloading his machine gun plus his private parts, excuse me for saying so.

No one ever insulted Suzy around Mr. Machine Gun Kelly because Machine Gun had a larger than normal smurf also, and was sporting his share of middle age with no shame or no regrets, and you can bet your finest monkey wrench that no one dared to screw with Kelly period.

Peacefully Suzzy sat on two stools where every one could see her drawers and she did not give a large damn anyway because she liked her beer, her ale, her hops, all those suds on the top rim of her large clean clear mug of beer. She drank boldly among men at the Killer's bar and did not give too much of a royal crap who liked it when she was watching her favorite television program "Who wants to be a millionaire." She just loved watching Regis in action.

Kelly drank hard whisky. His face was like iron. Kelly never smiled, but he kept close watch over Suzy's smurf at the bar because men had occasional outbursts of nastiness when they got their fill of ale or beer. He was not about to allow any interference of television by no Son of a b---h.

The bar tender would have preferred that the two of them not entertain his place of establishment, but Kelly always made it quite clear to Mr. Snodgrassington Meatballs the Third that he would splatter the floor with bar tender brains if there was any problem in getting served his regular shots of straight Club Whisky on ice.

The FBI did not care about Suzy or Kelly. They peacefully waited outside because they were waiting to kill them both when they stepped out the bar room and onto the streets.

Deputies, about five hundred of them waited earnestly with high powered sniper rifles, Remington pistols and revolvers, Smith and Wesson 38 caliber revolvers, Springfield and Carbine rifles, dynamite, nitro glycerin , sub machine guns, bullet proof vests, 200 marked police cars, six heavily armed task force helicopters, and a small platoon of Marines. The Marines were out on leave. In fact they could not wait until Suzy and Kelly came out so they could go in and get some Whisky And Beer for themselves.

Suzzy and Kelly however had plans of their own. After they finished watching their television program, they knew that the fresh outdoors was not so fresh, so they took hostages. They forced Mr. Snodgrassington Meat Balls the Third, and twelve locally drunk slobs to walk in front of them as they marched outside. Suzy and Kelly had big guns aimed at every one's brains so many numerous times at the hostages, so the FBI could not aim too carefully at Suzy or Kelly.

Needless to say, the confusing event ended in mass destruction. Suzy got killed. Machine Gun Kelly got killed. The drunken slobs got killed. Mr. Snodgrassington Meat Balls And Macaroni the Third got killed. The FBI got killed. The 200 marked police cars got blown to bits. The six helicopters were blasted clean out of the God dern clouds by SAM missiles that Suzy and Kelly secretly carried in their under drawers. The platoon of Marines were not injured because Suzy and Kelly were patriotic individuals and loved and adored the good old USA, and would never ever ever harm a single hair on even one sweet darling Marine , that loved beer, or loved girls, or loved whisky, or loved liberty or Justice for all mankind or womankind, or loved television programs.

This did make the police jealous because the police got all their you no whats murdered when the Marines were treated real nice. There was nothing the police could do about it accept walk away from the best Harmonica music ever played by the Marine Corp band that celebrated the untimely loss of Suzy and Kelly.

God Bless Everyone



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    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Wolfpack: Thank you for visiting and glad you njoyed the hub. God Bless You.

    • wolfpack5 profile image


      8 years ago from Alberta Canada

      Another great story my friend, you always have interesting stories to tell.

      have a great night my friend :)

    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear David 470 : Thank you so much for visiting, and for the kind words. God Bless You, and wishing you much joy in your writing and in your studies in College. I read your Hub Page Bio. Wishing you all the very best in your desires.

    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Hello hello : Thank you dear heart for coming by, and so pleased you liked this. God Bless You.

    • stars439 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Dear Mentalist acer : Thank you for visiting . I so appreciate the joy of your coming by. May our God of Great wisdom always touch your heart and soul with the skill of hope and great brilliance. God Bless You.

    • David 470 profile image

      David 470 

      8 years ago from Pennsylvania, United States

      This is a cool story. Thank you for sharing this with everyone.

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      8 years ago from London, UK

      Wow, what a story. Thank you for sharing

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 

      8 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      Quite an invenful hub on an eventful occasion,Lol:)


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