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Obese, Overweight, Fat, and Ugly
When I was about 14, I was 165lb. Yes, I was big time fat! I was fat since I was born…I was a big baby and grew up eating momma food and they are all delicious! That’s why I continue to gain weight. I been eating and less dieting. I didn’t really care about how I appear until I hit high school. This is when peer pressure really starts.
I have been told ugly, fat, overweight, obese…pig…and so forth. Was I hurt? Certainly. Why would anyone not hurt from hearing all of this unless this person doesn’t have a heart or feeling. When I was told ugly, I cried. I look in the mirror one time and asked myself…what part of me is ugly?
I don’t know how to put make up on or dress like a girl. I always wear sweat pants, wind breaker and T-shirt…it’s my normal wear. I have friends that were friends with me back in Middle school and they told me that they don’t want to be my friend anymore because they are embarrassed. I said why? They said because I was too ugly to be their friend.
I was shocked for the moment and said, okay…if that what you think is right and make you happy…therefore I leave you alone. I sat down by the library alone, my eyes was watery but afraid to cry and just waiting for the bell ring for the last class to start.
When I got home, I undress myself and look in the mirror. I started to grow a belly and my arm is thick. I was like…that’s why they call me ugly…because I am. I started to find girls clothe in my closet and start to dress up. Everything I wear, I don’t feel good about myself. I learned how to put make up on by searching through the internet.
I wore a dress to school one time wearing make up and the guys started to call me, fat clown. I was so mad being teased all the time because I’m fat and ugly.
I started to dieting and exercise daily to lose weight. Join the track team and lost more weight. This time I was very skinny. About 110lb. I was told skinny. They again call me skinny and stick figure. I was very upset and started to cry because people has been making fun of me because I’m too fat or because I’m too skinny. I don’t feel pretty about myself at all.
I went back to gaining my weight…this time I am 125-135lb. I have been told by my sister friend in Cambodia that I’m fat and ugly. People there don’t like fat girls. They asked me what do I eat to make me look so fat? Did I ate a pig? I was very tired of being called fat or called ugly so it was the time for me to speak up for myself. I asked them back, why are you so skinny? Your momma never feed you?
It really get them mad and they all say that I’m mean. Therefore I tell them that if you could get mad because I called you skinny, than why can’t I get mad being called fat? Everyone has heart and feeling. Some people wish to lose weight but they couldn’t and some people wish to gain weight but they couldn’t. Everybody has problem!
I went to my cousin wedding and she’s about 190lb, she’s very big girl! She is beautiful, but my uncle goes up to her and say, “a giant is getting married” she cried on her wedding night. It was suppose to be the greatest day of her life and it turn to be the worst day of her life because she was being told fat. I took her to the side and tell her that she is beautiful, very beautiful because her heart shows it.
Since I met with my fiance, my fiance never call me fat or ugly. He tell me that the beauty doesn’t always come from what is only appeared from the outside, but most importantly the inside. Therefore, I would like to share few words with you that whether you are fat or skinny, ugly or weird looking, you are beautiful no matter what other have told you. I have seen lots of pretty people and they are only pretty from the outside, but their inside is ugly like a rotten egg. I have seen the most ugliest person that I have ever seen and they are beautiful and a unique person that some wish to spend more time with.
People are different and have different problem, because of what people say about you it doesn’t tell everything about who you really are.