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Fauntleroy and Flossy - Courts? I Don’t Need No Stinking Courts!

Updated on February 11, 2017

Fauntleroy stood, straightening his red tie. He had trouble pulling himself away from the mirror. He walked over to the big brass bed and unfolded what appeared to be a multifold street map. “Help me out Flossy. I had stone cold crazy guy draw me up an organizational chart of the entire world.” He pointed, “There is me at the top. You see the little picture of me there.”

Flossy nodded, like she does, flashing her Slovin Resting Face.

“OK, I am at the top and that so-called judge guy out in the western desert is way out over there. There is no picture of him, you see that. No picture. So answer me this. Why does he even get to talk about the constitution. We here on the east coast wrote the constitution, not the cowboys and Spanish conquistadors. You see my point don’t you? I alone must keep America safe from the Third World Invasion or the brown wave, as Stone Cold refers to it.”

Flossy’s mind wandered off to the Spanish conquistadors. She recovered in time to nod. “Before you run off, Model T and Mr. Model T. seem awfully quiet. I think they are upset. Model T. may need a raise in her allowance. They are not returning my calls.” She pointed to the bank of phones. “Which one of those phones is Model T?” She paused, “Does Stone Cold crazy guy like anybody?”

Fauntleroy flashed her a look, “He likes American Patriots.” And he winked at her. “Gotta go save the world.”

“Wait,” she called. Did you write an Executive Order to move Halloween to February?”

Fauntleroy shot her a soul crushing look, “What are you talking about?”

“Those piles of new robes arrived, with the fancy red cross on the fronts.” She pointed toward the Christian Crusader’s robes used six hundred years ago by the Knight’s Templars.

“Oh, the robes arrived. Great!” He went over and lifted the one that had XXXXL on the collar label. “Can’t run a successful crusade without the right props.” He glanced at his Rolex, “Gotta go. You made me late.” He stopped – “Hey, we saved the country $14.95, in Go-Daddy fees, by taking down the USDA web site. Is someone keeping track. We need to raise one trillion for infrastructure. Mr. Model T. Has contacted every contractor within two hundred miles of the southern border. Oh, are we going to make a mountain of money, selling that wall.” He lifted the pile of robes and carried them off to his cabinet meeting.

Disclaimer

This is just a work

of fiction

Published prior

to the new restrictions

It may seem

like true depictions

Though just a statement

of convictions

.

No reference made

to their addictions

Muscle spasms

or afflictions

Ignored are lies

and derelictions

Will their trials

bring convictions

.

It’s just fake news

and my flawed diction

Just conjecture

and not predictions

Perhaps a grand wizard

delivers their benedictions

Upon temple steps at

their crucifixions

Executive Disorder


Fauntleroy paced about his office. He looked at the folders piling up with the Alt-Right wish list all made out nice and pretty, just waiting his signature. He estimated just the ceremony of signing three per day it would take a couple of months to work through. His advisors would pat him on the back and say, “Yes, Sir Mr. Fauntleroy, we sure are going to rebuild this carnage strewn country. Yup, that is what we are going to do. Just sign here.”

Fauntleroy flipped open one of the leather covered folders. To sell Federal lands in closed auctions. He closed it and opened another. Shutter the Bureau of Consumer Financial Protection. Defund the Commission of Fine Arts. The stack seemed endless.

He sat down in the chair and attempted putting his feet on the desk, but could not manage it and gave up.

Senator McCarthy said that, “I have here in my hand a list of 205....(communists in the State Department)

Not unlike the claim of unreported terrorist attacks.

History is repeating itself.

A House panel voted to eliminate the agency charged with helping keep voting systems secure. USNEWS

Senators Tom Cotton, David Perdue Move to Limit Legal Immigration

The bill would eliminate the Diversity Immigrant Visa Program and also cap refugees. USNEWS

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Appeals court panel rules unanimously against travel ban. - Politico

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One small step for Checks and Balances.

First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Source

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    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Boy, this has been a busy week and not all of it good for Fauntleroy. It was about time the judicial system stepped up and put the Puppet in his place. He acts like he's the only president with ideas.. I loved your Executive Disorder and our mind's are in tune, Elizabeth Warren is my pick in four years, maybe sooner! Another real life episode that I thoroughly enjoyed reading....

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 2 months ago from Jeffersonville PA

      I agree with you, Ruby...a good woman cannot be silenced - Elizabeth Warren has my interest as well.

      You know I headed for Italy first, Mike - will check out the other videos over the weekend.

      I'm currently trying to get that "Slovin Resting Face" and so much more out of my mind from this past week.

      Happy Saturday. Hugs, mar

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Ruby - The court system won a small victory for democracy. Fauntleroy has won every battle so far and he has taken on the big shots from the establishment. The country is in for a rocky time. Congress is going to have to get in the fight, or go home.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello mar - Elizabeth Warren has been doing very heavy lifting. Congress has to step in and help, as do the other Democrats in the Senate. If if they just delay, maybe only half the policies planned will get through before they are stopped.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Ego is a horrible thing, and ego will eventually bite a guy in the butt big time. That is my hope. I have now decided that protesting is a waste of time. All we have to do is sit back and let Trump be Trump. He's going to hang himself.

      Oh yes, great story, by the way. :)

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      There are plenty of ways to protest. This is a consumer society. American's spending everything they make is the only thing that keeps it working. Not marching to the malls sends the strongest message ever.

    • snakeslane profile image

      snakeslane 2 months ago from Canada

      Wow Mike! This frightening, and hilariously funny at the same time, you have become a master of Satire. Saturday Night Live move over! Love the vids, keep up the good work. You are awesome.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello snakeslane - Thank you. The administration is making it easy. I just saw a spokes person belittle a District judge, as in, 'who does he think he is'. The spokesperson claimed the judge was making policy. The judge was doing what he was supposed to be doing, comparing the 'act' to what the constitution dictates. This is a deliberate assault on the strength of the constitution, and by extension the people of the United States.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 2 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Lol. And I loved the "Executive Disorder." Touché, touché! But I shouldn't laugh, because it's been disquieting to see what people really think about Trump's EO's. For example, the 9th circuit's recent decision on the travel ban. I was disappointed with civil rights attorney, Alan Dershowitz (a legal mind I've long admired), on CNN on Thursday evening (2-9) regarding the 9th circuit's decision. He skirted the key arguments in the case (talk about a "broad interpretation"), and contradicted himself on the statements made by Giuliani. A first-year law student would have pulled him apart on that one alone. And he knows it. I was stunned. He wants a ban -- just not Trump's ban -- and made that quite clear in his repeated, heated message to the "audience" (it's well known that Trump watches CNN), about what he should do next: Draft a new Executive Order. I thought -- gees, Alan, why don't you just call him up on the phone?

      I agree with Bill in that Trump's ego, if left unchecked and unmuzzled, will be his ultimate undoing.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Hi there Mike. I'm glad there's no sign on your hubs banning my ugly self. I would be heartbroken.

      Hey....what my bro-bill said? Frankly my Dear Mike....I have personally never ever seen that fail. (and I've seen a whole hell of a lot!) Did I maybe just make you smile? You know, like a vicious kind of smile? It's OK. Just so no one throws eggs at me, I'll be fine.

      Well....I see F & F are alive & kicking. Perhaps better so than the real-life F & F?....As I've repeatedly said from the very beginning "We shall see." Don't any of you bleeding-heart libs feel badly for poor, forlorn, unsuspecting, disillusioned Melania? I do. I never saw such a sad face on any woman married to a billion dollars. Poor, spoiled, pampered, luxury-soaked, diamond studded baby. I could cry for her.

      Being as proactive as I am, I guess I'll be doing a deep search on Mike Pence. Since I'd never even heard his name B4 the campaign (nor Tim Kane's ~~was that the goof's name?) I realize I should brush up on him. Just on the slight preview granted, he seems a bit tight-a$$ed for my taste...

      Have a great week. See you all next month. Love, Paula

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna - I did not see the exchange you mention. I saw another that was just as disparaging. The speaker attacked the District Judge who basically did his job protecting the constitution. We are in more of a fix than I first thought.

      The EGO train has arrived in Washington D.C. and they mean to destroy the system no matter the cost to the people of this country.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Paula - You may have guessed, I think you are on the wrong side of this, which is your right. As for Flossy, I think she has been portrayed fairly here. Same with Model T and Mr. Model T.

      Are there issues that need to be addressed? Yes of course. But you don't send in the front line of the Atlanta Falcons to defuse a digital ticking bomb.

      I hope you and all who come to visit here survive the impending blast.

      Hey, if you feel like crying visit The Carriage Driver story, 'Grandma's Basement' this week. I have been under the weather, so I have not written anything for next week, as of yet.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Mike....I haven't guessed any such thing because I do not see any of this as "taking sides."

      I realize it's not your job to know my attitude or understand my decisions but had you followed my statements over the last year, you would clearly see I have, had and will always have one and only one objective. To keep the single-most dishonest, unethical, corrupt,vicious, greedy, nasty, alcoholic, racist ...poor excuse for a human being OUT of MY Country's White House. This is ALL I cared about and am exceedingly ecstatic has occurred. Period, The End.

      For all of you out there who are as yet unaware....I am NOT a DT lover~ fan~ nor supporter. He served my purpose. And just like a playboy may treat a one-night stand, by morning, I don't give a damn what happens to him now. Never in my entire life have I been more fiercely serious about anything. Never before have I kept my infamous "sense of humor" so tightly in tact. And this, I know is what my "right" is.....not "being on the wrong side." Thank you.

      Again...to my HP dear friends....I am not on the wrong side. I'm on MY side.

      The few I have taken into my confidence are very clear on who I am, what I believe and what I will stand for, come hell or high water. The rest,if they care to, can connect the dots. I will not argue nor fight with anyone, friend or foe over what they think versus what I know.

      The first bold, clear hint should be for anyone is to just know I'm a lifelong, loyal, proud New Yorker. I do anything I must do to clean up garbage and/or the stench it leaves behind in MY home~ & to make certain it also stays out of my White House.

      I ask that you find it in your hearts to forgive my angry tone. I TOO have a saturation point. Take it or leave it. I can only quote Rhett Butler.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      You see this as a frying pan, fire kind of thing. I see it as frying pan, hell. Congratulations Paula, you got what you wanted. Oh, Paula, you are such a good writer.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      All due respect, Mike, my dear sweet man, (pay no attention to me gritting my teeth...bad habit)

      I SEE this entire American fiasco as a living nightmare. Fire, we have a chance to escape or be rescued.....and fires always burn out eventually. "Hell?" that's a bit drastic, not to mention the fact that we each deal with our own personal hell throughout the course of our lives. I don't recognize a "new hell" when it comes along. It's all just hell to me. I deal with it. (And BTW, I'm a damned expert at it!) Sure, I suppose it's pretty sad when a woman must confess what's she's really good at is dealing with HELL. But hey, we take our bows when we can. It's made who I am and ME, I'm proud of.

      Gut honesty~~I have not a single clue as to what you refer to when you say I got what I wanted~~?? I'd be thrilled if you could tell me what it is you THINK I want?

      I'm such a good writer? Well thank you. Do you play Hockey or soccer? Anyway, Nice Save. My late & wonderful husband always had that irresistibly charming way. He would just look at me in silence while I went through my tirade & then tell me how beautifully my eyes "sparkle" when I'm angry. No, it wasn't a save for him. I would tell him it's not a sparkle...but an electrical live wire...& only dare touch me if his feet are wet! He claimed my inner DAGO is a wicked woman. He may have been right.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 months ago from Southern Illinois

      OMG, I'm having a ball reading Paula's tirade. She is hilariously funny. Mike if you only knew who she voted for, ( TWICE ) Don't worry Paula, I'll never tell. You go GF! You should be in a mood to write something down and dirty, I'll be watching for a new hub.....

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Ruby girlfriend.....It can't possibly be a secret that I voted for Barack both times. I've never hidden my sordid voting past....I even exposed my votes in the last 5 elections, somewhere on this site. What is very difficult to tolerate for an Independent, a.k.a NO party Loyalties, is that in communicating with either, the R's accuse me of being "too left" & the D's accuse me of being "too right." Which is why Rick Nelson's "Garden Party" is my theme song. Of course I would add a verse to that song that somehow conveys that my ass is big enough for all to kiss.

      Hey, we don't have to PROVE anything to anyone. Right GF? Ruby-girl, if I wrote a hub in my current frame of mind, I'd be banned from Hubville forever!

      Besides, Valentine's Day is upon us.....Romance abounds, Love is in the air, the stars are in our eyes. You know....all that sappy, silly Goop! Awwww Bullshit!....I'll just put a red bow on my senior citizen cocker spaniel & take him to the dog park to do what it is dogs do. I'll do what dog owners do & pick up poop. "Happy Valentines Day, Ruby!" Love, P

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Paula, arguing with you has no upside and very deep downside. You are not responsible for the new president, and I am not responsible from the now defunct Clinton dynasty. I would like to get out of this conversation with some of 'my dear sweet man' illusion intact.

    • profile image

      Genna East 2 months ago

      Hi Paula...

      I think I speak for everyone who has left comments on the F&F series. Although I may respectfully disagree with you on a few things, I will fight for your right to express your views. Always. And I love your sense of humor. Hugs.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Genna....Thank you (most of all) and please know that I am one of your "Fight for your rights" sisters. Whether I may agree or disagree with people in my life on any matter, my fondness, respect and concern remains in tact.

      The reality is, I cannot imagine it being any other way. If not for this appropriate attitude, how on earth could any of us maintain our friendships, families and associates?

      I appreciate that you love my sense of humor ~since I can assure you, without it, I would be dead or imprisoned without the possibility of parole. You're "special," Genna!.....Hugs, Paula

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Mike, Yes, you are a very sweet man & I say that sincerely. This does not change simply because of disagreement.

      I'm well aware I am not "responsible" for the election of Donald "What the Hell do we do with him NOW?" Trump. However, I insist upon being at least minimally responsible for being a part of the DEFUNCTING (Alert! Not a word. Alert!) of the Clinton Crime Family. I'm sorry you are not in any way responsible for that, but I forgive you. It's OK...frankly because they have been put to pasture where they will blend in with all the cow dung, quite well. I'm happy.

      Since you feel arguing with me "has no upside & very deep downside," because I love you, I vow on Witch Scout's Honor to never even approach a possible argument with you ever again.

      From now on, we shall only be nice, courteous, professional, upbeat & fully agreeable. You can let me know when you've become nauseous & bored & I will surely understand~~because I will have already gagged or fallen asleep several times. Sounds wonderful, Mike.

      There now, that was so easy for you to come away from this conversation with your "sweet man" title in tact.

      I appreciate your thoughtfulness. Hugs, Paula.

    • Randy Godwin profile image

      Randy Godwin 2 months ago from Southern Georgia

      Entertaining bit of satire, Mike. Some very smart folks commenting also. Except for Paula, of course........ :P

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Randy...I know where you live! Ha~~~Ha....you sure can be funny. Good thing I'm not sensitive...:) Lock your doors!

    • Randy Godwin profile image

      Randy Godwin 2 months ago from Southern Georgia

      Ha Paula! Didn't take you long to admonish me as usual. :)

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Randy - Thanks for stopping by this bit of satire. Thank goodness none of this is happening.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Good night Paula.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 2 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Night night, handsome.....:)........

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 2 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Hi Mike...

      "And the beat goes on."

      From Politico:

      ""I inadvertently briefed the Vice President Elect and others with incomplete information regarding my phone calls with the Russian Ambassador," Flynn said in a resignation letter. "I have sincerely apologized to the President and the Vice President, and they have accepted my apology."

      One person who frequently speaks to Trump said the president was reluctant to ditch Flynn because he doesn't "like to fire people who are loyal." Even Monday evening, Trump was still pondering the decision, the person said."

      Loyalty, shmoyalty. The "untrustworthy media" caught wind of this fiasco. Sadly, this is just the tip of the iceberg. I have long thought -- along with many others -- that a promise to lift the long-standing economic sanctions which have hurt Russia was part of the odd Trump/Putin courtship. Having Flynn contact the Ambassador was a way of giving the President Elect/President plausible deniability. I still wonder what Moscow has on this "Administration," including the fellow who now rents the Oval Office.

      Anywho, Happy Valentine's Day everyone. :-)

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      As you will see in my next satire "One Commie Spy gone, five more to go."

      Remember the phrase Russian sympathizer? Now the WH is full of them. Even a proclaimed Leninist.

      Oh, and on a kinder gentler note:

      Happy Valentines Day

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 2 months ago from South Africa

      Love your poetic disclaimer!

      Yes, you are obviously a prophet!

      Of course, connections will ride the tide :)

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Thanks Martie - I see you have been busy catching up with these rantings of mine. Hope all is well.

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