Fauntleroy and Flossy Dismantler in Chief
“Errdick, did you get me the tax filings for Hilton, Marriot, and Holiday Inn, like I asked for? Those guys are all getting audited for the next eight, twelve, sixteen years.” Fauntleroy put down the white phone and returned to looking at himself in the mirror.
Connie walked into the room unannounced. Fauntleroy turned to her. “Oh, what happened to your face?”
“What are you talking about?” She walked to the mirror and touched her face. Then her face turned red, “Are you telling me this is the first time you have seen my face?” At his stern look, she lowered her voice, “My President.” And almost curtsied.
“I have a meeting.” He walked out holding his gold phone. Tweeting: @TheRealFauntleroy Why doesn’t anyone tell me these things. He put the phone away. Agent M’s phone vibrated. He looked and read the Tweet, he followed Fauntleroy in person and on Twitter. He forwarded the Tweet to his office.
Fauntleroy’s blue phone rang. “Yes, the American people are all going to pay for the wall. Just like I promised on the campaign trail.” He grabbed the gold phone again. Tweeting: @TheRealFauntleroy They are all Mexicans, now.
Agent M put his hand to his ear to adjust the earpiece. “Fauntleroy, there is a commotion in the basement. A DEA vehicle has broken through the barriers. The Faunt force protection service rushed the car. They found Symmetry behind the wheel.
“Oh, good. Tell them to help her unload the packages and bring them to the map room. Make sure they have all signed the non disclosure forms. The same thing is not going to happen to me that happened to Bill Clinton.” Tweeting: @TheRealFauntleroy At last, at last, my stash, no cash.” Let them figure that out. Oh, that reminds me to block @therealcia from seeing my tweets. That will teach those intelligence gathers.
He walked into the map room filled with hooded figures. “Vader? Are you here? I’m told you have not signed your non disclosure agreement. If you are going to attend these meetings that is an absolute must. Vader?”
Mini T stood up, walked over to the hooded figure with the starched creases in the sleeves of his robe, and put the non disclosure form in front of it. A pale hand with a Jostens University of Indiana ring on the ring finger slithered out of the sleeve and signed the document placed before him. The Captain Midnight decoder ring on the pinky finger did not go unnoticed by Mini T.
Red B, and Model T walked about the room with their XB-68 RF Detector and Camera Finders in their hands looking for unauthorized audio recording devices. Fauntleroy pat the short robed fellow on the head. “Don’t you have to go to school today?”
The boy and Model T left the room. Mini T stood and followed them out. He was met at the door by a stream of Faunt force protection service men carrying packages of white powder and placing them carefully on the table.
“Boys, and girls, we are never going to have to buy our recreational drugs again. We are on the top of the world.”
They all laughed.
“The first order of business. The public can never hear that the Democrats Affordable Care Act was paid for with new taxes and spending cuts. Not one penny was unfunded. They can never hear that, understand me? Also, never to be mentioned that it significantly reduced overall health costs, costing our campaign contributors close to a billion dollars.” Fauntleroy laughed, “Imagine leaving a billion dollars in the people’s pocket.” He waited for any response. There was none.
“Next, I need four billion dollars to pay off that pip squeak Indonesian Speaker of the house. He is demanding that to renew the license for Fremonts gold mining operation. And I need him to sign off on a hotel and golf course. So, find that money and get him paid. Bury the cost in the new appropriations for the wall between us and those drug dealing rapists that pour over the border. Do you think we can get Duterte to throw him out of a helicopter? Maybe the new guy will charge less.”
A hand appeared from a robe covered sleeve and made a note.
“Did you all get in the sell Toyota short stock play? As things move forward, we will all have more time to make our plays.” He picked up his phone Tweeting: @TheRealFauntleroy Japanese Toyota can’t build in Mexico without paying U.S. tribute.
Nixon: Well, when the president does it, that means it is not illegal.
“The president can’t have a conflict of interest,” Fauntleroy.
Fauntleroy stopped, seeing the hooded robe laying over the back of an empty chair. He adjusted his eyes through the eye holes of his hood. “Who is missing?”
“Oh, My President,” Connie’s voice said from beneath her hood. That is the robe of the Former CIA director. He has become a ghost. Her smile went unseen.
“Just proves my point about these so-called intelligence people. What’s next? Anyone have anything to add?”
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