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Fauntleroy and Flossy - Do Not Attempt to Adjust Your Sets

Updated on April 11, 2017

Spice Girl was sitting in a bar, he leaned toward the young blond that had taken the seat next to him. “Did you hear the joke, ‘A Jew and a Nazi walk into the White House…”

The blond stopped him, ‘Yes, I heard it. Something about the last time you had a bake sale.’

Spice Girl continued, “What about the one about the nuclear option?”

The blond leaned forward, “Buy me a drink, honey.”

Spice Girl signaled to the barkeeper, who quickly delivered a drink.

“Nuclear option, is anything that is dropped into the middle of a scandal.”

“I don’t get it,” she said, downed the drink and walked off.

“You don’t like that? How about, we are going to change, the name of the court from Supremes, to the Temptations. How about that?’ No? Did you hear the name the staff of the Department of Education, are calling behind her back – well it is Ratatouille.”

Spice Girl wanted to talk to someone. He wanted to try out his book title for his big payday. In the running was, ‘Asterisk Administration’ or ‘The Recused.’ The manuscript was running to seven hundred pages and it had only been twelve weeks. Of course, ‘The Exiled President,’ had bestseller written all over it.

He lifted his arm – the barkeeper delivered a drink in front of him in short order.

Back at the Royal Residence, Mini T, and Errdick sat with an Ancestry graph and plotted out the dynasty. They had already penciled out the great grandson’s unchallenged run for office in 2060. There was maniacal laughter as the dreams of empire energized the room of the Last Family of America.

With Fauntleroy busy serving Tibetan food to the Chinese President, Model T was bored. She went and sat in the Mar-lago Situation Room, she was playing a game of Battleship against a Syrian runway. She was having the time of her life. There was popcorn and wine coolers. The Romanovs never had it so good. She picked up a pencil and wrote down, USS Model T. She would whisper to Daddy the idea of having her own Destroyer named after her. She smiled.

Mr. Model T sat with his strategists and hammered out his 2024 run for office. He would have them filling out his paperwork, so that he could start to legally collect money from his SuperPacs legitimized by The Temptations Court.

Con Con Connie walked into a bar. She spotted Spice Girl. She went over, ‘Come on, let’s get you home. Tomorrow is a big day. Us front line liars have to stick together.”

“No, I’m not confused,” he mumbled. “You have the Russians. I don’t have the Russians.” He tried to focus his eyes, and wondered where the blond went. “He is making America First, right after he threatens Korea and wipes out an airport gas station in Syria.” He staggered to his feet. “We are the enemy of the people. No, wait, you are the enemy of the people.”

Con Con Connie hooked her arm under his, and guided him toward the door and the waiting limousine. As she passed the blond at the bar, she hooked her arm and led her to the limousine also. It had been a slow news day, and the diversion would do them good.

Flossy lay in her big brass bed. She flipped the pages of Cosmopolitan Magazine. The whole family seemed busy. She had her real estate agent looking for a small chateau in the south of France. Her money was successfully transferred to a Swiss account. She was ready to leave with Red Baron at a moments notice.


This is a work of fiction. There is no proof that a Battleship, Destroyer - oh Frigate, you get it. One half million, times fifty-nine, is twenty nine and a half million dollars. During Desert Storm a Tomahawk missile was able to pinpoint buildings with precision. In Disgrace Storm, the missiles missed the runway with precision.

Will the next mission be? Distract and Deceive?

First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Barry McGuire - Eve of Destruction

Bob Dylan The Times They Are A Changin' 1964


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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 weeks ago from Olympia, WA

      Here's the thing, Mike: as much as I love this series, and I do, real life as it pertains to this topic is more entertaining, and I find that amazing and frightening beyond belief. I watch the news daily and I find myself staring in disbelief and awe at the shit that's happening in thank you for the comic relief because it is sorely needed.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 2 weeks ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Bill - The folks in D.C. have had much more practice with the absurd than I have. Their thought process is foreign to me. They break every rule, and then claim victory. The America we know is permanently broken. The right has an agenda, and it is clear, that it does not have any regard for the people of the country. The only time they care about the people is when they need sons and daughters to fight their economic wars.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 weeks ago from Queensland Australia

      Mike, the two classic songs at the end "The Times, They Are a Changin'" and "Eve of Destruction" really sum it all up. Great satire, but oh so true it's scary.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 2 weeks ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello John - By the time I was finished writing this short piece, I needed a couple of songs to cheer me up. 'Eve of Destruction' was just the trick.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 2 weeks ago from South Africa

      Besides the bombing of the airport gas station in Syria, I could have sworn you were writing about SA's president. Those attacks and threats are extremely scary. I'm holding my breath!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

      Mike this reads like the evening news except it's funny. I wonder how much longer the people will put up with this see-through regime? The airport runway in tact after our bombing is a mockery of our once great fighting piolets. I was laughing all the way through until I got to 2060, " Last family of America. " We won't be here but it still worries me. You should have a lot to write about this week with Tillerson going to Russia. Dillon's song is just as important today as it was in 64..

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 2 weeks ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Ruby - There is so much to laugh about. I just wish it was funny. If this was a weekly show, a figment of someone's imagination, we would all be howling. Yet, all I am doing is reading headlines from around the globe and then putting them in a whimsical order. Thanks for staying with these ramblings, and remember we have survived many presidencies.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 2 weeks ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hi Martie - It astounds me that we are having the same kinds of events happening around the world. It is telling that there are hidden hands manipulating what is going on. There has been many set backs and there will be many more for those doing the manipulating.

      This thought of a 'clash of civilizations' is total nonsense. It is contrived and it will fizzle out as sanity comes back into season. The notion of manifest destiny is polluted.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 2 weeks ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Ah Flossy -now you see her, now you don't ... who can blame her?

      Listening to the videos now...and then maybe some Temptations. Music, take me away...

      Have a peaceful evening, dear Mike.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 2 weeks ago from Riga, Latvia

      A bit of the weight of the world just rolled off. Needed a bit of a break. I swear sometimes I feel like I am going to hear the news and just start screaming and never stop. Keep these pieces coming.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 2 weeks ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello mar - Many of the cast are not playing their roles. It is likely that I will have to build a prison cell to continue the series. Thanks for dropping by to try and figure out the antics of D.C. Remember D.C. Comics? Their back.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 2 weeks ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Gypsy - Thank you. I know that the TV makers are jubilant as people all of the country must be kicking their TV sets while hearing U.S. News and Dopes.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 12 days ago from Texas

      Mike, yes our democracy is broken, no glue can put it back in place, how do we get it back? God only know. Thank you for giving us a reprieve from the insanity in the White House with this series.

      Blessings always

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 12 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Shy – We allowed ‘hate’ talk radio to spew vicious lies and angst for years. It seems those with common sense, just put the dial on a different station. Those that for whatever reason thought ‘hate’ was the answer listened in. Now, we are a nation with two major sets of beliefs and to survive have to search for a course that will bring us back together. Too much fear has been broadcast. The boogeyman has been inflated and so many quiver under the shadow. Enough people were convinced that a self proclaimed billionaire had their best interest at heart that they voted for him. I think what is coming will make the 60’s look like a picnic. Thanks for the blessings.

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 11 days ago from California

      I like the model Ts--such a classy couple! However do you think these up? Every time I turn on the tv, I want to scream--here at least I can laugh--

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 11 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Audrey - This group moves so fast that the jokes are old before I can get them published. Someone suggested that I post daily. ugh. Thanks for the visit, for I at least shared a smile.

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