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Fauntleroy and Flossy – Fifty Shades of Brown
Dateline in the near future:
The Washington Pester Reports: Unemployed Immigration Officers Protest
The latest government policy, Executive Order, 50 Shades of Brown, is being hailed as a great success. Armed with Sherman-Williams color swatches, I.C.E., Border Patrol and Federal Policy Police Department jobs have been streamlined for quicker results. The ‘every shade in its place policy’ is the brainchild of the man behind the man in the White House.
The Washington Pester Reports: Russia Invaded
Newly formed Armies from Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Poland, and Romania have launched invasions in Russia. With the promise of forty acres and a marijuana farm the new refugee, immigrant populations are eager for victory. Seventeen million men and women deported from the former United States are trained for victory.
The Cleveland Calvary Corp has taken the Ukraine, and renamed it to Cleveland. The Atlanta Army is pushing toward Moscow. The Baltimore Brigade is nearing St. Petersburg. The Spring offensive is enjoying early success. Pakistan, with permission to cross through China, has entered Kazakstan, leading the Los Angeles Lancers. They are confident of having marijuana fields planted in the new season. The Detroit Dragoons are pushing toward the Taman Peninsula, where they plan to continue the vineyards and grow marijuana.
Put-Baby’s calls for N.A.T.O. assistance. China has vetoed aid.
The Washington Pester Reports: Congress
The deportation, exportation, exploitation is complete The quiet and swift exodus of the remaining women of childbearing age has had an unexpected consequence. Without abortion to talk about, the Congress has been deemed unnecessary and has been disbanded.
Those congress persons wishing new employment have been offered jobs in Central Valley, California harvesting artichokes. They will have to apply, just as the displaced grandmothers from nursing homes.
Devin Nunes assures his colleagues that he can get jobs for his former committee, if not in the artichoke fields, then surely lettuce or beet fields.
The Washington Pester Reports: Cuba
Raul Castro, the leader of the free world, has called on the aid of Japan to help expand the size of their island fortress. Plans are in motion to continue to build out the island, and also raise sixty story buildings that act as both sea barriers and collective farms.
Farmers who once worked in the sugar cane fields will now do their work inside, with climate controls so the food can be grown for the massive influx of people from Miami.
Continued pleas from the former United States go unanswered as their embargo continues. The human rights crimes committed by the United States, “Will not be forgiven,” Mr. Castro is quoted as saying.
The Washington Pester Reports: Lawlessness
With every court in the country litigating executive orders and the lower courts handling the cases concerning abandoned private property the remaining law enforcement officers have been furloughed. As the courts are working at capacity.
The population of the former red states have been marched to the east coast to fight the encroachment of the Atlantic Ocean.
Fauntleroy mourns the loss of Mar-Lago as it was taken by rising sea water.
The Washington Pester Reports: Senate Majority Leader
The administration is pleased to announce the youngest Senate Majority Leader in the institution's history. Red Baron, will assume the role after graduation for Junior High School. His esteemed colleagues are proud to welcome him as their leader.
This is a fictionalization of a dramatization. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Any reproduction, transmission or broadcast without the express written consent of the fictitious author is a total waste of your time.
Caution: Do not read while operating a motor vehicle, watercraft, or aircraft, or bathing as a risk of a crash, or drowning oneself may occur. Do not read while playing a Microsoft Xbox, Retro-Bit, Nintendo, Sony PlayStation as aggressive behavior has been witnessed in trial samplings.
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The article is provided “as is” without warranties.
Crash results may vary.
If feelings of depression persists, consult your psychoactive artificial cannabinoid families of products: including but not limited to, Black Kush, Blaze, Bliss, Canja and Doob. This is not a recommendation of any product fictitious or real. Consult your local legal dealer for details.
If you are allergic to Fauntleroy and Flossy or any of the ingredients found in Fauntleroy and Flossy, stop reading and consult your directory of infinite wisdom, Bone Reading Set, the Tarot card deck of the Silicon Dawn, or your personal astrologer.
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In summer 1939 the Soviet Union allied with Nazi Germany and the Red Army joined the Wehrmacht in the invasion of Poland. – Timothy Snyder, On Tyranny
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