Fauntleroy and Flossy – I.M.S.O.P.R.E.T.T.Y.
Fauntleroy sat at his desk opening a package with a letter opener used by Andrew Jackson. Once opened, he called, “Great.” Then he pushed the intercom button on the desk, “Find me Model T, it is an emergency.”
A few minutes later Model T bust into the office, “What is it?”
“Oh, there you are. The prepaid American Express cards have arrived via Tunisia. While I was waiting for you I made arrangements for you to use the situation room. I want you to get your team together and use the secure systems in the situation room to buy me Titter followers. I have been losing followers and I must keep my numbers up. My ratings mean everything.”
Model T looked at Fauntleroy, she walked over and looked at the stacks of prepaid AmEx cards, lifted them and walked out in an obvious huff.
Moments later the intercom on the desk announced, “Do you want American twitter followers, or more Russians? And I need your password.”
Fauntleroy frowned, “i.m.s.o.p.r.e.t.t.y.,” and he hung up.
Our Brilliant Plan Cannot Fail
“Russians. Russians, that reminds me. Get me, whoever issues work visas. We are going to use Russian labor to build the wall. They will be soldiers that we are going to bring in under the cover of work visas, to protect us here in the walled city of Gulag, D.C. Thank you for reminding me.” He said to Pet Peeve, who had entered the room. Fauntleroy rubbed his hands together.
Pet Peeve, rubbed his hands together. “Sir, we have been so clever. The people will never know what hit them. First the Wall Builder Brigade will start pushing through Texas and overwhelm their popgun defenses. Once the brigades that are vacationing in Mexico get their arms and heavy equipment traveling as construction equipment we can rush to the Capitol. Our fleet of speed boats will overwhelm the aircraft carrier off the coast of Mar-logo and our planes can take off and land there.”
The phone held in a hollowed out chuck of gold rang. “Hold on,” Fautleroy told Pet Peeve. Fauntleroy picked it up and listened, “You have Model T doing illegal work?”
The angry voice could be heard in the room.
“What are you saying?”
“Is she using prepaid AmEx credit cards to buy Twitter followers?”
“Listen, Mr. Model T. She is protected. She is in the situation room. She does not know the cards are counterfeit. She was my Model T first, you are just borrowing her.” Fauntleroy put his hand over the mouthpiece, “I need the room,” he told Pet Peeve. He looked around the room, “Con Con Connie, if you are in here please go.”
There was movement from behind the sofa. She stood, straightened her skirt and walked out of the room.
“Mr. Model T, I heard from an agent in Azerbaijan. He said that there is a gold mine in South Africa that is ripe to change hands. The government is very favorable to be bought, just like we just bought the American government. The money will come through the purchase of our luxury apartments and funneled right back to our people in Dubai. Our two families are going to own at least a third of the world when this is all through. Things are in motion. We will reign for a thousand years.”
This is a work of fiction. It is satire. It is parody. It will cure all your ailments. The ingredients were found in the great pyramids in the tombs beneath the sands of time. It is words leaving foot prints in the mushy primordial gore of the soul of the nation.
Fauntleroy and Flossy is not for everybody. Seek immediate medical care if swelling of the eyes and ankles occur. Doctors suggest placing your feet on the sofa, holding a tall glass of wine and reminiscing of brighter days, smarter administrations, and and fewer Russians in the White House, may offer temporary relief.
Anyone finding offense here - well good. Think back of all the wonderful things said about the last administration who was led by a statesman, rather than a con artist.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
West Side Story-I Feel Pretty
A Man Like Putin - John Oliver Singers
© 2017 mckbirdbks