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Fauntleroy and Flossy - The Spin Room

Updated on March 15, 2017

“I can’t seem to shake them,” Fauntleroy said into his camouflage phone. “I screamed ‘Wire Tap’ which was a key Google word. That should have done it, but they are on my tail like Colonel Pappy Boyington or one of his Black Sheep Squadron on the hunt for a renegade Zero. You have any ideas?” There was a pause.

“You Americans are so new at this spinning the news. I will release news that Hillary Clinton and all of her staff visited my home on the Black Sea for an all expenses paid two weeks vacation, while soliciting campaign funds for her presidential library. That should douse all the Russian connection flames. Maybe I will throw in that the former president was on the payroll of the KGB while he was growing up in Kenya. You Americans can’t tell the truth from a lie.” Putt-Baby put his hand over the mouthpiece, “They will know the truth when our troops land in Connecticut.”

A Russian general loaded down with so many, military medals he could barely stand straight, smiled. “Our MEGs are ready whenever you say the word. North Korea has agreed to launch an attack on Pearl Harbor at your command. We can be in Paris by April."

Putt-Baby removed his hand from the mouthpiece. “My friend, is there anything else I can do for you? When are you and your staff coming to visit us again?”

“Sorry, Putt-Baby, I have to go. Chat later.” Fauntleroy put down the phone. “How long have you been standing there?” Banshi stood with red eyes glaring.

“I told you I wanted to be in the room next time you spoke with my Uncle Putt-Baby. Do I have to get Con Con Conway in here and take care of you?” It sounded like a threat.

Fauntleroy sheepishly, looked along the walls to see if Con Con Conway was wearing body paint that blended with the wallpaper.

The red phone rang, “Yes, there are some Senators who are not going along with the new Pilfer, Pillage, and Plunder Healthcare plan. I spent days writing and plagiarizing and then polarizing the deep, deep, thoughts, about what I think. What are we going

to do? I just need someone to help me. My entire future, depends on my handlers getting what they want. I might end up as a Walmart greeter otherwise.” It was Fauntleroy’s turn to put his hand over the mouthpiece, “It’s the Little whiny PR crying how he needs me. He needs me, I just love hearing those words.”

He spoke again into the red phone. “Listen, I told the people they could keep some of that stuff that was in there. Did we keep any of the stuff?”

The Little PR, thought a moment. “We kept the word “Care.” Then he laughed, “As in ‘We don’t care.” The phone went dead.

Disclaimer


This is a work of fiction. No oligarchs, tyrants, or despots were consulted in the production of this fictitious writing. Those seeking reason, logic, solace or consolation may experience momentary bouts of depression anxiety and madness. If symptoms occur, seek remedy from any and all legal stimulants carried at the BevMo near you. Continued feelings of paralysis may be relieved by helping a thousand of your neighbors to register to vote.

All opinions are those of the author. False flags, alternate facts, supposition, reflection, calculations of money laundering schemes were located on the Internet where everything is about Truth, Justice, and the American Way, so help me, that’s the way I always heard it should be.

For those of you who had some dreams, they were clouds in your coffee, clouds in your coffee, oh-wait, I have derailed….

The Washington Pester

At a café in downtown Washington, D.C. Bob Barestones was asked to pass the coffee creamer. Though it was late in the day, Carl Woodstock was still operating on coffee to keep going.

“Carl, I think I have another angle.”

“Yeah, what’s that?” Bob was eating dry meatloaf. The Washington Pester did not pay reporters what they used to pay them.

“The Russians are using loan forgiveness to get what they want out of the administration. If we can find out who funded the president’s construction projects around the world,” he paused, “we can show the trail of money right to the people that are operating him now.”

Carl stared at his friend. “So, how do we do that?”

“Well, there are two sides to all these transactions. We won’t get anything from this side. We have to look to the Red Menace. Don’t people in debt have to pay interest? Maybe we can find out who is getting the interest. We know the oligarchs, we must begin to find out all we can about were they have been and when. And if any of the crime family where there at the same time. Let's start with Deutsche Bank AG, see which oligarchs hold money with them and then find someone inside. Someone with our point of view on the world.”

First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Reforming American Immigration for Strong Employment (RAISE) Act

This bill would curtail legal immigration.

The presidents initial pick to serve in a senior role on the national security council, Monica Crowley, has registered with the Justice Department as a foreign agent for a Ukrainian oligarch who has recently softened his stance toward Russian president Vladimir Putin. The Daily Caller

Carly Simon - You're So Vain

Carly Simon - That's The Way I Always Heard It Should Be - 1971

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    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 8 days ago from Southern Illinois

      I'm listening to Carly sing ' You're So Vain ' A perfect song for the man who occupies our white house. The story is like watching the FAKE evening news. Plunder Healthcare Plan is spot on. And, today his tax form was released. People in the know are saying that Trump released it himself. It was from years back when he made a lot of money and paid a lot of taxes. I want to see the ones he's hiding. You ' done ' good again. I love that ' Vote Blue ' sign....

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 8 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Ruby - Thank you for stopping by my corner of the world. This little satire is chugging along as the country is being torn down by the people behind the scenes. You have to wonder which of our enemies are the happiest as the people in Washington are doing their job for them.

      Feel free to Tweet the Vote Blue sign.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 8 days ago from Southern Illinois

      Tweeting is done....

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 8 days ago from South Africa

      "Those seeking reason, logic, solace or consolation may experience momentary bouts of depression anxiety and madness." This warning in your disclaimer provides the exact reason of my depression, anxiety, and madness. There is a story behind every story - a secret agenda. Leaders underestimate the intelligence of their fellow-humans!

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 8 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Thanks Ruby.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 8 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Martie - What is perfectly clear, as with the leaders in your country, the leaders in this country do not care about the people. A Congressman here recently told his constituent to 'shut up' - and I think Wow.

      There appears to be no solution to the mess we are in. It is like we were thrown from a high building and now must wait for the eventual end.

      I read your recent article, but have not had time to comment.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 8 days ago from Massachusetts, USA

      "Fauntleroy sheepishly, looked along the walls to see if Con Conway was wearing body paint that blended with the wallpaper." "I spent days writing and plagiarizing and then polarizing the deep, deep, thoughts, about what I think." Lol...I laughed so hard, I had tears in my eyes. Precious lines, Mike.

      "Let's start with Deutsche Bank AG." Bingo. Deutsche Bank is Donald Trump’s biggest lender. (His history of recklessness in business is why so many NY and other banks declined to provide him with loans/financing.)

      Interesting footnote: In 2009, Donald Trump Jr. and Jeremy Blackburn started a company via investing, Titan Atlas Manufacturing, in North Charleston, purchasing a 157,000-square-foot warehouse. The Company tanked, but still owed a $3.65 million loan from Deutsche Bank they had personally guaranteed. Don Sr. (a.k.a Dad) stepped in and purchased the loan at a discount from Destsche through his company, DB Pace Acquisitions, which then foreclosed on the property to stave off creditors and keep it "All in the Family." Needless to say, both creditors and investors weren't very happy, having lost quite a bit of money.

      And the beat goes on....

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 8 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna - Thank you. There is no doubt in my mind that we are dealing with a crime family. Manipulating the law to cheat your clients and or your investors may pass the convoluted laws that litter our system, that does not make it all right. Not in my book anyway. I think that same property that you told us about had a waste disposal issue that the crime family, was passing the cost to the citizens of South Carolina.

      We have a whole new version of Archie Bunker and 'All in the Family' This is Archie Bunker with wealth.

      Thanks for your contribution to this series, and your support.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 8 days ago

      Another fantastic addition to this series. The funniest line "if Con Con Conway was wearing body paint that blended with the wallpaper."

      Blessings my friend.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 7 days ago from Olympia, WA

      There is nothing more to be said. We are officially in a nightmare from which we cannot escape. It is a tribute to your writing abilities that I can laugh about life right now.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 7 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Shy - Thank you, I try to sprinkle these episodes with some humor. I appreciate the blessings.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 7 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Bill - I agree we are in dark times. Though there are so many people who are going about their business as if nothing is out of the ordinary. This morning there was a #BoycottHawaii tag on Twitter. That has to come from the opposition. Democrats need to begin organizing across state lines to regain some balance in Congress.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 6 days ago from North America

      One cannot run the USA like "The Apprentice" and last very long in office.

      "Waiting for the end of time" (Fauntleroy's days in office), as Meatloaf would say in song.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 5 days ago from North America

      Insurance!! Pilfer, Pillage, and Plunder Healthcare: That's about right, all the time. For most of my life, my employers cancelled employee health plans...

      But at age 14, my father's company paid all healthcare costs 100% outright. Great! Well, I had a crisis and was hospitalized for over three days. The staff put me in a storage room. I saw a resident for 15 minutes Day 1, had a saline IV for 1 hour, and was left alone with a bedpan for almost 3 days. My father came by Day III and was billed for 9 meals and several treatments, of which I had none. He threw a fit. Luckily, my condition righted itself, but I've seen several cases where people died of it.

      Of course, I am still angered about a major insurer for whom I worked -- I found a payment "accidentally" given twice, a total of $235,000 each in today's dollars; and caught the second check before it was mailed. My supervisor was happy, but the claimsmen were angry I caught it.

      Fauntleroy had better do something good in health insurance, or we might have another Senior Citizen's riot on Boston Hospital as was done in the 1930s.

      A good Medicine Man might be in order...

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 5 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Patty - Sorry for the delay. A small project has been driving me crazy. You are right, The United States is not a business. It is not a project that can be produced in 30 minute segments. Is is not a sound bite that can be spoken and then forgotten. A great deal of damage is being done to the reputation of the United States. I have said here before, "Who would want to tear down America, Not an American"

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 5 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Patty – Seems the rich do not want to support the poor. It seems the rich, think they would be better off without a lot of us here in this country. It is OK, if we fight their wars. It is OK, if we buy their products or work in their factories and fill their bank accounts.

      Funny the cycle of things. The poor would save their pennies for their future. The banks would loan the money to the business class and the business class would use the poor’s money to finance their efforts. Now, the business class is pounding their chests and scream, be more like us.

      So glad you survived your crisis, but physical and financial. Nice catch on that over payment. I am sure you were handsomely rewarded. (I am laughing.)

      Fauntleroy and Company are riding high. There is talk of them getting the bill through Congress. I hope not, I don’t want to spend the next two years getting every Republican Congressman shown the unemployment line.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 3 days ago from North America

      Oh boy! Start a series "You're Fired" and write the problems of each of those congresspeople, with a refreshing character who steps in and shows them the door. It would be as good as "Mad Magazine!"

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 3 days ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Wow, Mike. Talk about the "Spin Room." Today's events were right out of the Twilight Zone in terms of how both Trump and Spicer tried to spin Comey's testimony today.

      Angela Merkel's icy stares at Trump during her recent visit were well-deserved. He still behaves in a crass manner, as though he's on some reality show. (And he still doesn't understand how NATO works.)

      When German reporters asked Trump if he regretted making the claim that a British spy agency, GCHQ, secretly intercepted his communications at President Obama’s request, he replied, “We said nothing. All we did was quote a certain very talented legal mind who was the one responsible for saying that on television.” (I could type a candid response to this, but I'm a lady.) To make matters worse, he turned to Mrs. Merkel and said, “At least we have something in common, perhaps.” He was probably waiting for the opportunity to say that all day long, totally unthinking, and totally uncaring of how Obama and Merkel had become good friends.

      Why does Trump continue to demonstrate hyena-like behavior that humiliates the American people? Hopefully, he will listen to some of the heavyweights in his administration, such as McMaster, Mattis, etc., and other more wise, mature world-statesmen and women before doing irreparable damage. And his budget proposals are downright odious.

      If things continue on their present course, there will be hundreds of thousands taking to the streets, demanding his impeachment. Or worse.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 3 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Patty - Funny you mention a new series. I was thinking the same thing. I am not funny enough to pull this off, but the title would be, "The Microwave Chronicles,' a play on the new surveillance device by General Electric, and Samsung.

      With todays testimony on the books, I think things will quiet down, because the presentations were less startling than they should have been.

      The people will prevail.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 3 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna – The Spin Room, is working 24 hours a day to stave off the strength shown by those that remain sane, in the face of complete madness in the administration. The testimony today, was not sufficient to cause deep concern to the administration. I think there is so much there. So much crime and so much lust for power. Likely war will have to wage to defeat the beast.

      His stance on NATO makes sense, if you look at it through Russian eyes. Russia stands in the way of Russian ambition. The ties in Washington and Moscow are tighter than at any time since the pitch battles of WWII. (Where the distrust began.)

      I am not sure where the feud between Germany and the U.S. administration began. I find it amusing the administration claims Germany owes the U.S. so much money for protection. History shows that “nothing” Germany said or Russia said, would have the U.S. withdrawing from Germany since the end of WII. We weren’t there to defend Germany, we were there to block Russia advances.

      Regarding your behavior question, again, if you look through Russian eyes, that is his mandate. He wants to make America smaller. Why, because that makes Russia larger in comparison.

      My short answer on the budget, is “Rationalizing taking food from the elderly is masking toxic greed.” You can replace elderly, with ‘children’, ‘homeless’, ‘after school programs’, ‘heating subsidies’ – the opposition party is showing their true colors and their true colors are not red, white, and blue.

      Their Fathers are hiding their faces in shame or rolling over in their grave at what their children have become.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 2 days ago from Jeffersonville PA

      I was hoping for a little Carly Simon after I catch those clouds in my coffee...

      I never dreamed HP would start putting all of my notices in the Spam folder - ever so sorry for the lateness of my visit.

      Really like your BLUE illustration. Hugs, mar

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello mar - Carly Simon is the beast of this hub. Maybe HP is right to put these stories in the spam folder. Happy Tuesday.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 2 days ago from North America

      "The Microwave Chronicles" -- I love it! IMO, you are very funny enough to succeed.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello mar - Carly Simon may even be the best of this hub.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hi Patty - Thank you.

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