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Fauntleroy and Flossy – Welcome to Our Hollow Cost Center
Spice Girl approached the podium, “Horrible Hitler, hardly handled, hideous, heinous, horribleness at the holocaust centers, however, his henchmen, hide, their hazy histories. Setting Assad aside, he didn’t kill those people, his people; it was abandoned abasement, abysmal abuse, arbitrary … those poor children. I hope that clears up the matter.”
“Yes, Lutheran’s Liturgical Library Newsletter,” what’s your question? Come on people we have to pick up the pace. I have a rabbit gig starting soon.”
“Does the Secretary of State still intend to go to Moscow?”
“Very good question. As you know, no one in the administration has had anything to do with the Russians. Our actions in Syria prove beyond a shadow of a doubt the administration has not had and will never have any relations beyond that of sharing seats at the United Nations. So help me God. Next question.”
“A convoy of U.S. Naval vessels is steaming toward North Korea; can you clarify the administration's intentions?”
“As you know, our leader, to every one of us. He leads all of us, not just those that voted for him. But you and you and you.” Spice girls pointed to the press corps. “He called on the President of China, no worries, he reversed the charges. And he told the President of China, that he must take responsibility for that illegitimate stepchild of his. In the strongest terms possible, he was told, if he expected glimmering hotels in Beijing, he would take that brat onto the world stage and give him a good what for.”
“Follow up question. Then why the Naval presence?”
“America, the shining city on the hill has to sometimes step in to show these little distractions in the world, just who is running the show. And if he or they use chemical weapons on his people or any other people who happen to be in the neighborhood, we are going to be there with our missiles on the ready.”
“Sanctuary Cities, there has been a lot of talk about Federal intervention. Can you comment on that?”
“The administration has made it clear. If we have to go in and tear gas the entire populations of these so called sanctuary cities, then that is what we will do. These mini leaders, in these so called American cities, will be made to understand who is running this country. We have an enormous responsibility, thank goodness, that we have at the helm a man with broad shoulders to carry it. He is like a father to all of us. Once, we are #mega again; you will see all these sacrifices are going to pay off bigly.”
“There is news that one of the campaign team has a FISA warranty in place. What can you say about that?”
“They got nothing. There is no proof. The tracks have been covered. Russian payments to campaign managers prove nothing. It is a free country. If a man wants to earn a modest living doing some PR work for a foreign power, who are we to stop him? We are talking about a few measly millions of dollars here. The tracks are growing cold. What are you going to arrest a bunch of bots, and put them on trial? Move along. Nothing to see here.”
“On a lighter note. Are there plans for the usual Easter egg hunt on the White House lawn?”
“Yes, why, yes there is. We have a former member of the NSC boiling eggs right now. He is responsible for dying the eggs also. How is that for the deconstruction of the administrative state?” Spice Girl glanced at his watch. “Gotta go. I am late for my fitting of the bunny suit.”
This is a work of fiction. No Spice Girls were consulted in the writing of this false piece of fictitious writing. No containers of Zyklon B were opened. No winds of change changed. No truth, justice or the American way was unfairly represented. No absurdity could be taken too far. Nationalist Socialist may find Fauntleroy and Flossy not to their liking. Neo-monarchists, may wish to find comfort in their Sad Sack comics of the 50’s and 60’s.
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