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Fauntleroy and Flossy – Welcome to Our Hollow Cost Center

Updated on April 15, 2017

Spice Girl approached the podium, “Horrible Hitler, hardly handled, hideous, heinous, horribleness at the holocaust centers, however, his henchmen, hide, their hazy histories. Setting Assad aside, he didn’t kill those people, his people; it was abandoned abasement, abysmal abuse, arbitrary … those poor children. I hope that clears up the matter.”

“Yes, Lutheran’s Liturgical Library Newsletter,” what’s your question? Come on people we have to pick up the pace. I have a rabbit gig starting soon.”

“Does the Secretary of State still intend to go to Moscow?”

“Very good question. As you know, no one in the administration has had anything to do with the Russians. Our actions in Syria prove beyond a shadow of a doubt the administration has not had and will never have any relations beyond that of sharing seats at the United Nations. So help me God. Next question.”

“A convoy of U.S. Naval vessels is steaming toward North Korea; can you clarify the administration's intentions?”

“As you know, our leader, to every one of us. He leads all of us, not just those that voted for him. But you and you and you.” Spice girls pointed to the press corps. “He called on the President of China, no worries, he reversed the charges. And he told the President of China, that he must take responsibility for that illegitimate stepchild of his. In the strongest terms possible, he was told, if he expected glimmering hotels in Beijing, he would take that brat onto the world stage and give him a good what for.”

“Follow up question. Then why the Naval presence?”

“America, the shining city on the hill has to sometimes step in to show these little distractions in the world, just who is running the show. And if he or they use chemical weapons on his people or any other people who happen to be in the neighborhood, we are going to be there with our missiles on the ready.”

“Next.”

“Sanctuary Cities, there has been a lot of talk about Federal intervention. Can you comment on that?”

“The administration has made it clear. If we have to go in and tear gas the entire populations of these so called sanctuary cities, then that is what we will do. These mini leaders, in these so called American cities, will be made to understand who is running this country. We have an enormous responsibility, thank goodness, that we have at the helm a man with broad shoulders to carry it. He is like a father to all of us. Once, we are #mega again; you will see all these sacrifices are going to pay off bigly.”

“There is news that one of the campaign team has a FISA warranty in place. What can you say about that?”

“They got nothing. There is no proof. The tracks have been covered. Russian payments to campaign managers prove nothing. It is a free country. If a man wants to earn a modest living doing some PR work for a foreign power, who are we to stop him? We are talking about a few measly millions of dollars here. The tracks are growing cold. What are you going to arrest a bunch of bots, and put them on trial? Move along. Nothing to see here.”

“On a lighter note. Are there plans for the usual Easter egg hunt on the White House lawn?”

“Yes, why, yes there is. We have a former member of the NSC boiling eggs right now. He is responsible for dying the eggs also. How is that for the deconstruction of the administrative state?” Spice Girl glanced at his watch. “Gotta go. I am late for my fitting of the bunny suit.”

Disclaimer


This is a work of fiction. No Spice Girls were consulted in the writing of this false piece of fictitious writing. No containers of Zyklon B were opened. No winds of change changed. No truth, justice or the American way was unfairly represented. No absurdity could be taken too far. Nationalist Socialist may find Fauntleroy and Flossy not to their liking. Neo-monarchists, may wish to find comfort in their Sad Sack comics of the 50’s and 60’s.

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© 2017 mckbirdbks

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    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 9 days ago from Jeffersonville PA

      So funny that our neighborhood is abuzz as the nearby Firehouse puts on an their Easter egg hunt for the kids. Now you have me wondering exactly who is behind the Easter Bunny's suit... hmmm

      Now I cannot get the Spice Girls outta my soundtrack - so thanks for that!

      Hope you are enjoying a peaceful Easter weekend. Hugs, mar

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 9 days ago from Olympia, WA

      Smokescreens and denials, a constant barrage of them, meanwhile unspeakable damage is being done. I'm talking about your fictional story, of course, and now reality. NOT!!!!!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 9 days ago from Southern Illinois

      This is probably the last time Spice Girl will be dressing up as a bunny, I think he's on his way out after his horrible comment about Hitler not using gas in the consecration camps. The bomb we dropped was the largest since out attack on Japan. I don't mind to say that I'm scared! When are Americans going to wake up? I also wonder who will be hiding in that bunny suit?

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 9 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello mar - Nice to know some traditions are still being carried on, over at the Firehouse. Hope all the youngsters in the neighborhood are building a treasure trove of memories.

      Sorry about the whole Spice Girls thing. When I was looking for music for this, I listened to a few of their songs. Notice, none were selected.

      Happy Easter

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 9 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Bill - I will never understand why an American president would wish to make America smaller. That is beyond me. Why it is being put up with is also beyond me. Happy Easter.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 9 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Ruby - Maybe the head of Korea will make a guest appearance as the bunny on the WH lawn this season. Now, wouldn't that be funny. Ruby, spring is here. Your birds are back, and counting on you. We are not in control of what happens globally. The whole saber rattling thing is hot air. I heard the M.O.A.B.'s was on sale at KMart, that is why they decided to finally use it. I also heard, that a large area needed to be cleared for new poppy fields, and that was the quickest way for next season. haha Happy Easter.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 9 days ago from Southern Illinois

      I'm laughing like crazy. Thank you. I needed to lighten up!

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 9 days ago from South Africa

      The world is spiraling down

      into the depths of renown

      horrors and tragedies

      :(((

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 9 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hi Ruby - Mission accomplished.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 9 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Martie - You and a lot of people like you are the backbone of the world. There is a lot of tension, distrust and animosity floating around. But it is not time to despair. Sooner than we think, the right people will stand up and put a stop to the chaos.

      One spy has already been kicked out of D.C. and a prominent mouthpiece has left the stage. There are just a few goons left. Then we will endure the republicans for a while.

      Happy Easter

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 9 days ago from North America

      O gosh O gee -- some of this sounds like a criminal I witnessed who tried to dodge charges by saying, "It was not me or anyone I know." He lost the case.

      Smoke screens (indeed) and denials, as billybuc says. Big bombs bust a benchmark for big smoke:

      Faunt to Put-baby: My MOAB smoke cloud is bigger than your smoke cloud.

      Put-baby: It is to laugh! Mine is much bigger!

      Kim-June-July: No no, mine is bigger than both yours taken together, just wait a few days and see!

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 9 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Patty - I see you have gotten into the Fauntleroy and Flossy spirit. Funny stuff. The richest country in world in contention with the poorest country in the world. That is classic. California is to darn close for comfort.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 7 days ago from Texas

      Mike, very good! Our actions in Syria prove beyond a shadow of a doubt the administration has not had and will never have any relations beyond that of sharing seats at the United Nations. So help me God.

      You should change the line to "so help me Me"

      Do you know what a bunch of bunnies hopping backwards in a row is called?

      *

      *

      *

      *

      *

      *

      A receding hare line.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 7 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hi Sha - Good joke, and good point. I resemble the good joke. Fauntleroy resembles the good point.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 days ago from Riga, Latvia

      Most unusual Easter rabbit. Glad we got through this Easter without major world problems or total disaster. Love the video.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 5 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Gypsy - Isn't it horrible that we have to be thankful to get through an Easter holiday without a world calamity? Thanks for your visit. I am hopeful that things are not as bad as they seem.

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