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Fauntleroy and Flossy - What Didn’t You Know, And When Didn’t You Know It

Updated on May 10, 2017

Fauntleroy having again eaten one too many Cheetos Puffs was pulled again into the darkness of his subconscious.

The walnut gavel stuck the plank calling the hearing to order. Fauntleroy sat next to his defense counsel. Forty-two of his associates sat behind them awaiting their turn at impending sentencing.

Russian Ambassador Duńpismioff sat in the witness stand.

The young prosecuting attorney continued his statements. “We have frozen your memberships in all the luxury accommodations that you have enjoyed during your relationship with The Fauntleroy’s pearl opulence locations. The IRS has frozen all Russian access to accounts in Zurich and the Bermuda Islands as well as the Cayman Islands. You know that your country is in negotiations for your release. You also know that you will never see your country again if you fail to cooperate with these proceedings.

Look out over the faces in this room. Each one of these people is going to spend time in prison. Each offense of dealing with the Russian government will carry its own penalty.” The young prosecutor paused. “Now, tell me what didn’t you know, and when didn’t you know it?”

Ambassador Duńpismioff cleared his throat, visibly uncomfortable.

“You would have never caught me, had I not sent my private jet to pick up our person inside the Bureau. The moment his payoff arrived from our funds in Abu Dhabi reached his account in Venezuela he jumped ship. Just like that first General that you cannot find. I consider him a chip. If you let me go, without penalty, I will give you his location in Caracas. The same goes for the pretty couple, we know where they are also.”

Duńpismioff pointed out at those accused. “These people were so cheap. Once we figured out just how cheap, we concluded that buying them was cheaper than one of your F-35 planes. People were begging to be bought. All the talk about slavery. These men and women, Congressman, Senators. Your heads of state. Our oil money was put to good use.”

He sat back smugly in his chair. Fauntleroy was visibly unnerved.

“Go on,” said the young black prosecutor, suddenly amused by the testimony.

“After the meetings held Seychelles we knew that the whole barrel was rotten and we no longer needed to buy many of them. Just enough to control the heads of the major departments as we closed down the United States.” He leaned forward, “Just think, the entire might of the United States placed in the hands of a person who only cared about money. Not family, not country, just money. He was a small player. We laughed when we found we could buy him for the price of a golf course. You Americans and all your values. All your patriots disarmed by an amoral family. Our toughest opponent was a middle-aged white woman. She surprised us.”

He looked at Fauntleroy and the crowd of faces behind him. “Gentlemen, you are not going to like the Russian prisons in Siberia. It is too bad that we failed. The Russians would have enjoyed owning your American cities and starting a whole new country without all the flag waving. Our men would have built the next generation into a stronger breed with your women.”

Ambassador Duńpismioff stood. “You asked what didn’t I know, and when didn’t I know it? Well, the answer is, I did not know we could lose, and I did not know it until this moment.”

Fauntleroy put his face into his hands.

Disclaimer


This is a work of fiction. No reporters were arrested for asking a member of the administration a question. No young prosecutors were amused in the writing of this piece.

Although Fauntleroy withdrawal is rarely serious it produces a number of very unpleasant side effects. Symptoms generally only last for about a week or two and may include the following:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Chills
  • Body aches
  • Tremors and shakiness
  • Pain
  • Inability to feel pleasure
  • Exhaustion
  • Challenges in concentration
  • Intense craving for cocaine

First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

I Fought The Law

Mony Mony

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    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 2 weeks ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Ambassador Duńpismioff may be your best fictitious name - ever!

      Thanks for this reminder to put the bag of Cheetos Puffs down.

      Have a peaceful day - always good when you publish. Hugs, mar

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 weeks ago from Olympia, WA

      Here's the problem with a House of Lies...it only takes one to make the whole house fall, and it's so damned hard to remember them all to cover your tracks. At least that's what I'm hoping. :)

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 weeks ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello mar - Once Duńpismioff appeared, the rest of the story was kind of easy. The number 42 comes from Lawrence O'Donald (sp), when reporting warrants issued in West Virginia.

      We all may be able to do with a few less Cheetos.

      I don't even consider this writing.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 2 weeks ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hi Bill - Yes a house of lies and a group so hungry for the lies they can't see what is happening. I am learning that the right has built up a hatred for the left well beyond ideology.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 13 days ago from Riga, Latvia

      With great gusto I salute Ambassador Dunpismioff because this nuttsy world constantly Duspismioff. Presently looking toward my homeland the USA in my mind I imagine a house of cards that is soon coming tumbling down.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 13 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Gypsy Rose Lee - In a way you are lucky not t be here. The winds smell from the stench from Washington. The people of the country have lost trust in each other and move toward hostility. A general shadow prevails as all that we grew up with is being torn down. Our place in the world is shifting and will move lower.

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 13 days ago from Hereford, AZ

      Mike, I have not been reading these, because I cannot handle them right now. I hope you do not think I am ignoring you. I have had more than I can handle and so have retreated from many things that disturb me, into things that I can control. My kids noticed it and have been trying to help me with it. I still have been having to deal with vehicle that keeps breaking down, but my sons have been helping me to get it back into shape. I am hoping it will quit breaking, so I do not have to replace it.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 13 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Becky - Most everyone has stopped reading these. Anyway, I hope you get the cars working, I know how awful it is to be stuck with car troubles. I am so glad that the kids are looking out for you.

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 12 days ago from Hereford, AZ

      I only have one vehicle, which is why it is so disturbing when it breaks. I also live 20 miles out of town. It has been fixed again, but I had to have it towed to the shop. Two days stuck at home with no way to get anywhere. It was a bit disturbing.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 12 days ago from Texas

      “Just think, the entire might of the United States placed in the hands of a person who only cared about money. Not family, not country, just money.

      This one really is scary because it is true.

      Blessings always my friend

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 12 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Becky - It is an annoyance when our cars don't cooperate. I know I have been left walking many a day. Glad the problem has been taken care of and you are back with wheels.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 12 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Shy - The world view does seem to indicate that money is first and foremost with the elected leader. He has some unusual ideas about what his job is meant to be. I think he will be smug right up until the time he is arrested.

      Thanks for the blessings.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 11 days ago from Massachusetts, USA

      "Ambassador Duńpismioff " Lol. Seriously, though, the clock is ticking as the lies mount. I will never be able to look at a bag of Cheetos again without feeling nauseous. Great musical selections accompany this powerful segment, Mike. Well done.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 11 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna - Happy Mother's Day. I don't think Fauntleroy knows that obstruction of justice is a crime that is frowned upon. But he may become familiar of the concept soon. I recently viewed a youtube regarding his Russian connections. There are many.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 11 days ago from South Africa

      “What didn’t you know, and when didn’t you know it?" Questions like these cause a short circuit in my brain.

      I am so fed-up with lies. It seem to be all we get nowadays from all corners!

      Sharp satire, Mike!

    • mckbirdbks profile image
      Author

      mckbirdbks 10 days ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hi Martie - I am just making fun of a terrible situation. Half the country think a billionaire is their friend and just wants to take care of them. In fact billionaires, just want to take. And take.

      It seems like every word coming out of the halls of governments all over the world are lies. I wish they would let some of us in on the secret. What an evil agenda we are witnessing far and wide over the globe.

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