Fauntleroy and Flossy – “White Lies Matter”
Fauntleroy stared into his full length mirror. Over his shoulder he called to Flossy lying in her big brass bed. She was reading her instruction manual for her new robot, satellite transmitter. “Do you see how the people love me?” He glanced over his shoulder. “At my every word they gather in the streets waving signs with my name on them.”
His feet began to shuffle and he began to sing.
Puss n Boots, The Princess singing I Feel Pretty
Robot turned its head toward Fauntleroy and began transmitting to satellite CPPP 495 Moscow. The video stream was broadcast throughout the provinces. Flossy brought the manual close to her face so she did not have to see Fauntleroy dancing.
“Did you hear about my new catch and release program?” Again he glanced over, unable to get her attention. “People are screaming in the street with joy as I keep my promises. I mean, I did tell the fools. Oh, buy me some Sharpies, will you.”
Flossy flipped the pages of the manual. “Robot, place Amazon order for Sharpies.”
An order was placed with Amazon, Ukraine.
“OK, honey, I have to go.” He skipped out humming, I Feel Pretty.
He was met in the hall by Connie. “Stop that,” she admonished.
“What is on the schedule this morning?”
“Oh, you are going to love it. You already announced that the Joint Chiefs of Staff, no longer have a seat at the table. You assigned that chair to that stone cold crazy guy.
Fauntleroy glanced over at Connie and made that face that expressed his stony resolve.
Flossy ran out of the residence, wearing her nightgown and called, “Darling, Amazon Ukraine only has red Sharpies. Is that alright?”
“No.” They kept walking down the hall.
Connie glanced over at him, wondering if she should tell him about the fax that came into the White House this morning. It was just a question, ‘How many people were in the streets during the French Revolution?’ She decided to let the Spice girl, Nonsense Secretary deal with it.
She continued, “We decided against loyalty oath registers, the time is not right my president. We are moving forward with only citizens can hold public office. And we are considering making workers pledge their allegiance to our party.” She paused, “We are drafting a memorandum to nationalize all enterprises. Except for yours of course, my president. And lastly for today, “An executive order that commands all editors and editorial employees of newspapers will be of the American race and our American party. Newspapers which violate our public interest are to be banned.” She paused again, “We are going to have a big week and more people than ever will be in the streets shouting tributes in your name, mein president.”
The episodes of Fauntleroy and Flossy are fiction. No resemblance to alternative facts is rendered or intended. Reality checks must be suspended and left at the door. Otherwise, feelings of anxiety and stress may occur. Eruptive name calling has been known to occur after reading.
Fauntleroy and Flossy is not for everyone. Those experiencing feelings of absurdity, consult your copy of the constitution. Those feeling anger and disdain are invited not to read the ramblings of an imagination gone historical.
Registering your neighbors to vote may relieve feelings of helplessness.
No accuracy, is expressed or implied. Third party outrage, is that of the outraged, not the fictitious writer. Do not operate Uzi’s, AA1 SBR, AB-3, ADS Amphibious rifles, AK-9, AK-47, AK-74, AK 104, APS Underwater Rifles, Beretta ARX 160, or T91 Assault rifles within one hour of reading Fauntleroy and Flossy.
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