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Fauntleroy and Flossy - Wolf News

Updated on February 17, 2017

Fauntleroy stood by the mirror, a life size mannequin of Flossy lay on the bed with a fashion magazine opened to the center page.

“Have you seen my camouflage phone?”

The robot by the bed answered in Flossy’s voice. “Model T borrowed it. She has to reach Put-Baby to transfer more money to her Deutsche Bank Business account. She is starting her new clothing line, based on the contracts that are being stirred her way. Once she gets the money, she can contact the factories in China and Vietnam to place her government backed orders.” Red l.e.d.s blinked on the eyes of the robot.

“Darling, did you see we are taking apart the ‘Endangered Species Bill” today. Those bloody frogs, and spotted owls turn on my planet are over. They are not going to stand in the way of our progress to deplete the earth of everything beautiful. We are meeting today with the Cabinet and will begin to fund the camps to harbor the criminal class, immigrants, the elderly, and the educated and maybe get some free labor. I picked the perfect Secretary of Labor, but he graciously took his name out of the running, that is just the kind of guy he is. We intend to roll out our ‘everyone will work’ programs. Just this weekend, I.C.E. chased one woman from California to Colorado, but by goodness, we got her. That will send a message to all of them. With overtime it cost $62,000, but we got her. We may let her children work until adulthood in our big donors homes and maybe our hotels. Then we will send them back after years of taking care of their needs. After all we are not heartless."

“Did you see on “Wolf News” that I am sending Military Generals to Azerbaijan, I think that is somewhere in Tennessee, they are going to meet with Russian generals to discuss joint military collaborations.”

The robot spoke up. “Azerbaijan, is not in Tennessee. It is near Georgia. And your Defense Secretary made a fifty-seven second announcement that that was not going to happen at this time.”

He glanced over toward the big brass bed. "We have started the interview program to fill all the undesirable low jobs that are beneath men to do. The cabinet has set up the process and extensive reviews will begin to fill the quotas set by each man. Women will, finally, be clamoring to get our jobs.

"We have got to stop those leaks. Those illegal leaks. I have my best people on it. The best. The very best. Russian approved in fact. Do you hear me?"

The robot, swiveled, first left, then quickly right. "Leaks; beep. Leaks; beep. Leaks; beep, beep."

"Are you taking something for that?" Fauntleroy left the room. He missed his camouflage phone. He wandered off looking for Model T.

Robot digitized a transcript of the conversation and transmitted to the Soviet satellite that circled every 16 hours over the White House. The spy ship off the coast of Virginia picked up the transcript immediately and sent it back for RT to publish to the provinces.


This is a work of fiction. No gulags were consulted during the construction of this piece of (fill in the blank). Readers have experienced exhaustion, challenges in concentration and intense cocaine cravings after prolonged use. Seek medical advice, while it is available, if symptoms of helplessness persist. Some people have found relief by aiding Democrats in registering to vote in places like Georgia’s 6th district.

By reading this the user consents to extradition, deportation, unlawful interrogation, unpaid trips to government black sites, or dungeons at the government discretion. Public disclosure by the fictitious author, regarding fictitious characters in fictitious settings may occur.

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© 2017 mckbirdbks


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    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 3 months ago from North America

      Egads! Under the Reagan Administration, plans were solidified to increase Social Security Retirement age to 75 and it's already hit 67 for some people. SSR keeps prodding me to wait to age 70. Everything you write here could happen.

      Work camps full of 80-year-olds. Well, Buzz Aldrin might go to Mars himself after all. It might be the camps or Mars for all of us.

      God help us all.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 3 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Patty, I am over emphasizing for effect. It will take them years to build the camps. Last weekend here in L.A. 168 random immigrants were picked up by I.C.E. I will say if I.C.E. picked up known felons that is one thing. But random stops just is poor policy. At 168 per weekend, it will take a thousand years to get the people here without papers rounded up. So, what is a bigger drain on the system? Thousands of I.C.E. officers of people here trying to build a better place for themselves and their families.

      Mars is looking like a good alternative. If you think about it, there is no place to go. The barrel is corrupt top to bottom. Maybe a remote South Sea Island. Oh, the imagination.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 3 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      OMG, that last paragraph was a doozy! The illustration of the Cabinet meeting with the Russians sitting around the table is quite the satire, and the photo looks like Siberia. Is Wolf News a play on Putin's motorcycle gang? I also thought of CNN's Wolf Blitzer. Trump hates ("I'm using the word for tone, as in hate,") CNN.

      I can't watch the news any more with Faunt as the central focus, Mike. His impromptu press conference on Thursday was a way of manipulating that focus in campaign mode. I watched until his narcissism and prevarication spilled over the top. It dawned on me that he doesn't see himself for what he truly is, which is pretty scary. Sadly, this man is in serious need of therapy.

      The general consensus seems to be that Trump's in-your-face reality show will start to lose appeal with some of his supporters. Eventually, they're going to want to see substance. And the 74% of voters who didn't vote for him will take to the streets in protest, even more. Once the GOP has quickly pushed through their agenda, bypassing any threats of veto, Trump's usefulness will begin to sour. Investigations will take on a new light, with Pence waiting in the wings.

      Paul Ryan wants to bump the retirement age to 69 -- why don't they just say, "70" and get it over with? Unimaginable. Sheesh.

      Good grief...I feel as though we've been thrust into an alternate dimension -- you just can't make this stuff up. Who'd believe it?

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 3 months ago from Jeffersonville PA

      "Ain't to proud to beg" that you never stop writing, dear Mike - whether I laugh or I cry, your 'fiction' packs a respectable punch.

      TGIF for real... Hugs and thanks, mar

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 3 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna. I know a woman who has a sound track in her mind. When you address her, she will begin the tape and the words will come out of her mouth. 'the neighbors did this, the neighbors did that, I am going to do this, I am going to do that.' She was in the early stages of Alzheimer's. Trump does the same thing. 'the electoral college, nobody said 206, 220 but we got the most since Reagen. Or the famous, 'its rigged, its rigged.' That is where he is at, bordering on the edge. I think a new election is called for, not a move up the line. When they find the extent of the foreign involvement, the whole bunch of them need to be shown the door. Not a progression down the line.

      The Wolf News, was just a different furry animal name other than Fox news. Not nearly as clever as the motorcycle gang, that I have to go and look up.

      Two of the sketches are Siberia, but seem appropriate for the level of the thinking.

      The news is getting less panic prone. I do hope the protest escalate.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 3 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello mar. I do not have a The Carriage Driver story prepared for Friday. I did publish a very quick write, this morning, in response to Genna's writing challenge. It has been a while since I transported someone to the heaven of their choice on Friday. I do have a concept of an inkling of an idea. I have started a story with less.

      Thanks for the nice comment.

      I was surprised my disclaimer on Tuesday went without comment. I must be losing it.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 3 months ago from Jeffersonville PA

      You do Disclaimers like I do music - capiche? And you are most welcome!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 3 months ago from Southern Illinois

      OMG, This has got to be the best and so close to the truth, it scares the H out of me. Flossie's clothing line took a hit, plus Motel T's new clothing carried on U.S. bases worldwide! Brilliant! The New World Order blew me away. I reckon we ladies better tighten-up, if you know what I mean? The help wanted," President " topped it off. I don't know how this can get any better, but I'm sure the cronies will mess up again, BIG time and give you more fodder to do what you do best, Political Satire....I love this. I'm now going to stay and listen to the video. Your disclaimers are one-of-a-kind. If I were a teacher and was grading your work, I'd give you an A+...

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 3 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Ruby - I packed a lot into this piece. The fight against Muslim's and the New Crusades. The loss of rights women suffered because of the election outcome. I mean he told everyone what he thought, yet women and Hispanics still voted for him. I can not figure that out.

      He has already started his 2020 campaign. He did that in South Carolina.

      Just between you and me, no papers came back to me in high school with an A of any kind on it. I was a lot funnier then. Thanks for the high marks.

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 3 months ago from North America

      South Seas Islands would be good. We can't go outside for fresh air or oceans on Mars.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 3 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      hello Patty - The South Seas it is. It is decided, Mars might be too much of a trip for me. Blue water, clear air and plenty of sunshine. It might work.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 3 months ago from South Africa

      We all need a new planet! I am trying to focus on the basics: Eat, work, sleep. Until Death stops me.

      Somehow we can't control the course of events.

      I wonder what this Fauntleroy-stage will be called in the future? Perhaps "The Age of Desperation", as everything that is happening looks like desperate attempts to make America great again.

      The entire world seems to be desperate to save an overcrowded planet captured by fools.

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 3 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Martie - This might be the age of 'The Final Frontier' wait has that been taken. With a fool on the hill there is no way to determine a reasonable course of history. We could be right back to 1950, when America was great, but under constant fear of annihilation. Oh my, I am so bloody cheerful.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 2 weeks ago from Texas

      Mike, how did I miss this article? That is too scary to think about.

      Yes, trump needs therapy but I doubt that would help, he would just wave money under the therapist nose and poof, the smell of the money would have the therapist groveling at trumps feet.



      Fantastic cartoon Mike, I regret I did not get the position, I am the second from the left. BTW what did I interview for?

      Blessings always

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 2 weeks ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Shy - I think the ladies are being interviewed for second class citizenship. The by-laws of the republican party are state women should stay home and take care of their husbands needs. Seen and not heard, as children.

      Therapy will not work with Trump. He stands tall from the fact that he is rich. Rich seems to equate to smart, proud, strong. But rich also seems to be a disease.

      Thanks for the blessings.

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