Fear- Release Me
By Tony DeLorger © 2011
I wander the street to free my thoughts,
hunched up and cowardly they be
and unwilling to find light.
I think my steps may dislodge them,
allow them passage to consciousness.
But the troubles I feel repress them,
hold them at bay,
keep them in fear of illumination.
Over this I have no will,
my true thoughts escape me,
leave me wallowing in confusion.
I sit down on a bench,
watching the evening traffic,
an endless stream of day’s closure.
The mindless fray of living,
numbed by the routine of travel.
What thoughts I hide within me,
lost to the proclivity of pretence,
deluded ignorance, chosen.
Now, I try to dislodge the fear,
the hidden, skulking, refusal.
Without release they will keep me.
Troubles linger like vultures,
resting in the knowledge,
that without my truth to freedom,
I shall remain in this purgatory,
this irresolute disconcertion.
Truth I must face to dispel this pariah,
to relinquish the darkness of trouble,
and to find peace.
I take a deep breath swallow my pride
and open the door.
Black eyes pierce me, anger pours out,
and I am faced with myself,
me, the creator of darkness.
The truth explodes in my face
and I once again see my folly, my weakness.
I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.
But I have no-one else to blame.
I should listen to my heart more often.
Its truth is from my core.