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Fifty Shades of Grey Book Club Questions

Updated on March 4, 2018

Fifty Shades of Grey has topped the New York Times bestsellers list and has become a pop culture sensation. Everyone has heard of Fifty Shades of Grey book even if they haven't read it. It has been called "Twilight for Big Girls" and "Mommy Porn". It didn't take long for me to borrow this bestselling novel from a girlfriend.

As I'm reading Fifty Shades of Grey, I'm intrigued and curious as to who I could discuss the book with. A friend suggested a book club as a sarcastic remark but I decided to take this further. It's not surprising that Oprah's Book Club hasn't chosen Fifty Shades of Grey as their book club selection as erotic romance may not be "politically" popular.

People are already talking about Fifty Shades of Grey book whether or not they've read it. So I've decided to make Fifty Shades of Grey Book Club questions so you can continue the discussion and bring the topic out of the dark. Let's talk about relationships, power, innocence, and sex.


When Anastasia Steele first meets Christian Grey at the interview, he is flirting with her. Is this appropriate for a man of his power or is he abusing his power? Is flirting harmless? What are appropriate flirting signals and inappropriate ones?


What would you think if you were Christian Grey's mother and met Anastasia wearing her son's shirt?

What would you think if you were Anastasia's father and was introduced to Christian Grey as his daughter's boyfriend?

Is there an appropriate amount of time before you introduce the parents in a relationship? How long? How important is it?


Anastasia is a virgin and Christian Grey is the man who "pops her cherry" so to speak. Do her actions and openness to what Christan Grey offers make her a believable virgin? Think about your first time, how would you describe it? Would you want to be in Anastasia's shoes and be with experienced Christian Grey for your first time instead?

The Contract

What was your first reaction when you read THE CONTRACT? What would you be comfortable or not comfortable with? What changes would you want to make? Is Christian Grey asking too much? Why or why not?


Christian Grey makes it clear that he is not a "hearts and flowers" guy. How important is romance versus sex in a relationship? Would you give up romance for the quantity and quality of sex that Christian Grey promises to provide? Would you be able to submit to a contract and not fall in love?


Anastasia is hesitant to accept gifts from Christian and often prefaces by saying she is "borrowing" the items rather than accepting them as gifts. Why is she so adamant about this? Is it really any different to borrow rather than accept? Gifts are not money but their value is equivalent, so does this make Anastasia a modern day call-girl or "Pretty Woman"?

Christian Grey

How does his abuse as a child play into his adult sexual life? His whole life has been dominated by similar contracts and lack of intimacy. Why do you think it's so difficult for those sexually abused to be in intimate relationships?

Anastasia Steele

How does her character change as she grows into the relationship with Christian Grey? Is this a positive relationship for her? Why or why not? How will this relationship with Christian Grey impact the rest of her life?


You can see Anastasia's power over Christian grow throughout the novel. What are some examples where Anastasia is dominant?

Is Christian Grey abusing his power and wealth to manipulate Anastasia to being his submissive? What is Christian's power?


Fifty Shades of Grey is filled with sex scenes. Which one was your favourite or what aspects of the scenes did you enjoy most? With the growing popularity of the Fifty Shades of Grey book, let's talk about sex! What did you like in the book? What didn't you like? What did you learn? Do you feel it is realistic or just fantasy?


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    • fpherj48 profile image


      5 years ago from UpstateWestern,New York

      LOL.....I see It's fairly obvious I'm an "older JADED woman!!" OK, maybe I'll take your advice!

    • Say Yes To Life profile image

      Yoleen Lucas 

      5 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      fpherj48 - the books are written to appeal to older, jaded women. That's why it's called Mommy Porn. Try reading them, and see the movie, and see whether or not it works.

    • fpherj48 profile image


      5 years ago from UpstateWestern,New York

      I'm reading all I can get my hands on before I decide to see the movie. Don't ask. That's just the way I do things. So far the reviews have been mixed. In fact, they've been all over the map.

      I enjoyed your article because it's different than a review......No one mentioned Channing Tatum as an impressive Christian? Dakota Johnson is certainly pretty, but why do I have a constant urge to fix her hair?

      Anyway....I enjoyed this. I also have to laugh at your question....honey, believe me, at my age now Yes, I could absolutely NOT fall in love. In fact, I could probably NOT stay awake!! LOL


    • Say Yes To Life profile image

      Yoleen Lucas 

      6 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      I have just finished the book. Now I'll finish answering the questions.

      ANASTASIA STEELE: The way she changes is that she becomes more comfortable with Christian's weirdness. She also asks for "more", and Christian agrees to try to change for her. On some level, this is positive, but in the final scene, where he goes too far with the S&M, she doesn't call out the code word. So that means it was a negative change, too. The way it will impact the rest of her life is, most likely all other men will pale in comparison. No one else will be as rich, good-looking, or weirdly dynamic.

      POWER: Anastasia's power over Christian is his love of her. He falls in love without realizing it, and tries to change to be what she wants him to be. His power over her is her fascination with him, and the fact that he is her first love. He's not really abusing his wealth. If he was, he'd be forcing her or using some type of psychological coersion. As it is, for the most part, he asks her permission before doing anything - excpt when he buys her stuff.

    • Say Yes To Life profile image

      Yoleen Lucas 

      6 years ago from Big Island of Hawaii

      I am currently reading the book, and am not yet halfway through. Yet I will answer your questions - plus I have one of my own.


      Normally this would be an abuse of power, but I think the way he did it, it wasn't, because Ana was free to take it or leave it. Also, she was interviewing him, not applying for a job there.


      1) I should think she would have been horrified, but it turns out she was pleased, most likely because it was proof Christian wasn't gay (or damaged by her friend's actions???)

      2) I would keep a REAL CLOSE eye on him!!!

      3) I believe parents should be introduced immediately. It is very important, because they know their daughter (or son), and they can pick up if something about the relationship is off. After all, if the couple marries, they will hopefully be acquiring a new child, rather than losing the one they have.


      In a way, I find it believable that Ana is a virgin. What I find hard to believe is that she doesn't masturbate, and knows very little about sex. After all, anyone can read books and magazines. Yes, I'd like Christian to pop my cherry, though that Red Room would make me extremely nervous. I would cut out before we reached that scene.


      I felt nervous the first time I read The Contract. I think most of it is reasonable, but to sign and follow it would require a level of trust I'm not sure I'd be up to.


      I believe romance is very important. I suppose I could give it up to a point, but if I found myself becoming too attached, I'd break it off. I don't know if I could submit to The Contract without falling in love. I suppose I could, if he proved to be too weird.


      Apparently, Ana has qualms about being a "prostitute". I personally don't see anything wrong with it. Think of all the idiots who give it away for free, even have babies out of wedlock that they neglect.


      Apparently, he made up his mind he wasn't going to let a woman control him ever again. That's why he was like that. When people associate a basic drive with pain, whether it be physical or emotional, they either want to avoid it altogether or they put parameters on it.

      Here, I'll insert my question. Obviously, the manner of the "relationship" in which Christian lost his virginity is abuse, but what if he had been past 18, and it had been an innocent, casual contact? Things like this happen all the time; people even write songs about it, such as Bobby Goldsborough's "The First Time" and Neil Diamond's "Desiree" Does something like that damage young men as well?


      I'll have to answer this one after I've finished the book.


      Again, I'll have to finish the book before I fully answer this question. However, I don't think Christian is abusing his power, because he's not making Ana do anything she doesn't want to do. His power mainly lies in the fact that Ana finds him attractive.


      So far, I like the vanilla sex scenes. I may change my mind after I've finished reading the book.

      The book is mainly fantasy, though I find a lot of realism in it. Personally, I believe men and women should read it to each other, for ideas!

      Thanks for posting this hub!

    • jantamaya profile image

      Maria Janta-Cooper 

      7 years ago from UK

      Interesting point of view at Fifty Shades of Grey. Fascinating collection of questions about this book, about Anastasia and Christian, and about the whole story. Good job whaturmissing :-) Voted up, shared, and linked with my hub.


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