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First Class Broke

Updated on February 26, 2013

She touches the pole

and begins her dance..

All eyes, blazing, on her

watching her performance..

Lights dim,

Music loudens,

Bottles pop,

Glasses break,

What a big shame she's going to make.

Her lips never laugh but smile,

and her heart frightens

as the crowd tightens.

Skimpy, bold, clingy, inviting,

cheap, flaming, dirty, rowdy.

She moves to live,

She lives to die.

Heavy makeup,

Deceitful cover-up.

She's being ripped all night

from bottom to top.

Never loved herself,

Adores no one,

But papers with faces thrown to her nakedness.

If she walks out that door with a man,

She's making her happy

and will not leave him unsatisfied.

Yesterday, today until tomorrow,

there will never be a beautiful day to follow.

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    • Valorie Esquilona profile imageAUTHOR

      Valorie Esquilona 

      5 years ago from Philippines

      howdy, ahorseback! hope still exist in this world no matter how complicated things are. thanks for dropping by just to leave a comment!

    • Valorie Esquilona profile imageAUTHOR

      Valorie Esquilona 

      5 years ago from Philippines

      hey, moonfroth! thank you for your inspiring comment and constructive criticism (if that's the right term for that). thanks for everything that you have written here and for your advice as well. since I was in high school, until I graduated college, this is my style of writing poetry, I'm not following any rules and I don't want to follow any rules, theory or whatsoever because I believe that everyone of us will succeed with or without following what other people say. We are unique and special in our own little ways. have a good day!

    • profile image

      ahorseback 

      5 years ago

      Yet yes , there are

      beautiful days to follow

      and a love waiting out

      there for it's own

      time

      waiting

      waiting

      waiting........

    • moonfroth profile image

      Clark Cook 

      5 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico)

      Sorry Valorie!--just noticed I misquoted Shakespeare above. It should be--

      the forms of things unknown,

      the poet's pen turns them to shapes..........

    • moonfroth profile image

      Clark Cook 

      5 years ago from Rural BC (Canada) & N of Puerto Vallarta (Mexico)

      At least a few of you are assuming the persona of this poem is the poet herself, and that the experiences captured in the poem are the direct experiences of the poet herself. Even if the poet DID have these experiences, directly, the persona is NOT her. The persona is at an aesthetic distance from her-the-person--that's why she writes poetry, to create a world through which she can express herself and through which you can participate and discover. She may never have danced or sold sex or been near a club. Or she MAY. Who cares? Experience the poem, criticize the poem, feel with the poem, get angry with the poem,,,,or not. But don't equate her with it. this is her creation, not her confessional.

      The poet's eye, in a fine frenzy rolling

      doth glance from heaven to earth,

      from earth to heaven,

      and as the imagination bodies forth

      the shapes of things unknown

      the poet's pen turns them to shapes

      and gives to airy nothing

      a local habitation, and a name.

      Valorie, your poem has a great deal of strength and believability in its emotions and imagery, some of which is really striking and pulls the reader into the quiet sadness but also the optimism of the persona. There are occasional grammar and usage problems (that are not covered by poetic so-called "license"), which you'll want to work on, and the Form of the poem, I think, needs to be a little more part of your work with the imagery. They need to be in a fused partnership every step of the way. you know this intuitively--it's obvious--but your work will be stronger if you mold form more consciously. The American poet, Robert Creeley, put this critical issue so provocatively and succinctly''"Form is never more than an extension of Content" I've been working with poetry for quite a while, and I think I mumble that credo to myself pretty well every day! You have talent--I'm looking forward to reading a lot more of your stuff.

    • Valorie Esquilona profile imageAUTHOR

      Valorie Esquilona 

      5 years ago from Philippines

      Thanks a lot, really..

    • profile image

      ahorseback 

      5 years ago

      You have a really nice style !

    • Valorie Esquilona profile imageAUTHOR

      Valorie Esquilona 

      5 years ago from Philippines

      Thank you so much for your words. Now, I am more encouraged and inspired to write.

    • profile image

      ahorseback 

      5 years ago

      Valorie , You have an incredible gift ! But more , that gift can give back to you so much in understanding of life , write on forever !.......Ed

    • Valorie Esquilona profile imageAUTHOR

      Valorie Esquilona 

      5 years ago from Philippines

      The reality is really sad. thanks, I am happy that my poem caught your attention =)

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up. Very expressive poem. Must be the worst feeling having to be attractive for the sake of doing your job.

    • Valorie Esquilona profile imageAUTHOR

      Valorie Esquilona 

      5 years ago from Philippines

      Thanks Eddy! I'm looking forward to reading your works too.

      Hello, Bravewarrior! I have heard so many stories like this before and you are right, there's a lot of men on earth who are just after women's body but there are still people who'll love,respect and accept you for who you are. Hope still exists! thanks for dropping by!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      5 years ago from Central Florida

      Been there done that. Being attractive to men and wanting them to bed you is not the way to validate who you are inside. First you must discover yourself, then stand true to yourself. I've lived a life of needing to be wanted and offering sex in order to feel good about myself. I learned later in life that is not the way to go. Validation comes from within and to hell with those who only want your body!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 

      5 years ago from Wales

      A wonderful poem and thank you for sharing. I now look forward to many more by you.

      Eddy.

    • Valorie Esquilona profile imageAUTHOR

      Valorie Esquilona 

      5 years ago from Philippines

      Thank you. I'm glad you appreciated my work.

    • Miller2232 profile image

      Sinclair Miller III 

      5 years ago from Florida

      That was very moving when reading it.

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