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First Haiku - Friendship And Doubts

Updated on August 14, 2012
Source

Intro:

This is my first attempt at Haiku. So the counts (5-7-5) might be little off, here and there.

A little background:

This is inspired by the friendship between two people whose motives are questioned by others who have no idea regarding their relationship.


Your Storm

Source

HAIKU

Wind howling up above
Can't hear anything but pain
Making you insane!

Rain pouring, gray sky
Sun not seen, behind clouds it lies,
Heart that hurts with words.

Motives are questioned
They see nothing but pure game,
You don't see the same.

Accusations done.
Best friends are friends and nothing more
Words are out, for sure.

My Sunshine

Source

*****************


Sunny on the side
Of my world that you can't be
Your words comfort me.

Have to let it shout
My feelings have to get out
For sanity's sake

Best friends forever
No matter what others say,
No envy can break....

The friendship that we have!


********************************

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    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 4 years ago from North Carolina

      Congratulations on a great first haiku. I toke the juxaposition of of storm and sun. Well done!

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 4 years ago

      Agreeing with Tammy! You have captured the essence of feelings that cross a thin line between friendship and being an item. comparing with nature is the best way. Sunny days are ahead, even if it's raining right now in people's hearts.

    • josh3418 profile image

      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      LaThing,

      Excellent first set of haiku! I am definitely impressed! The symbolism of the storm to describe friendship was perfect! Awesome job here friend! :)

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hey Tammy, great to see you here! Love that cute avatar :)

      Thanks for stopping by and for such an encouraging comment.

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Thanks, JD! Sometimes friendship is taken in a wrong way by others who are just looking in. Only friends understands their relationship....

      Glad you stopped by :)

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hi there, Josh! I am truly honored by your comment! There is always a storm in every kind of relationship, even innocent friendship between two people, lol

      Thanks, buddy!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well done for a first attempt....we done for a tenth attempt....love the message! Best friends forever!

    • pringoooals profile image

      Karina 4 years ago from Edinburgh

      I like it. Voted up

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 4 years ago from California

      Congrats on your first attempt! I find this form to be difficult to work with--and like Tammy, I like the juxtaposition between the storm and sun!

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      I am ignorant in the realm of haiku... but, I do know what I like. The images you present are lingering and vivid. The message strong.

      Great Job!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 4 years ago from Shelton

      Lathing these are very good.. I envy those Haiku writers congrats for hitting the nail on the head with these :) Frank

    • Patty Kenyon profile image

      Patty Kenyon 4 years ago from Ledyard, Connecticut

      Wow, Well Done!!! I wrote my first Limerick the other day and I would be doomed if I was ever challenged to write a Haiku...CONGRATS!!! :)

    • LaThing profile image
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      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Thanks, Billy! lol, yes, Best Friends Forever...... :)

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hi Karina! Thanks for stopping by, appreciate your comment. And welcome to Hubpages.... :) hope you have fun here!

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hi Audrey, great to see you here! Thanks for the lovely comment.... See you around!

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hey there, Richy, and Frank! I am quite ignorant about Haiku too, but had to give it a shot. It was a toss between this or a 'rant', and believe me that sounded terrible, lol

      Appreciate your visit.....

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Patty!! Good to see you here! Yes, I did read your limerick and it was wonderful..... I am sure you will do well with a Haiku, too!

      Thanks for dropping by! :)

    • Laurinzo Scott profile image

      Live To Write 4 years ago from Phoenix, Az.

      Great stuff LaThing... love that your Haiku told a story... nice touch.

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Thanks Laurinzo! Appreciate your comment, and love to see you around :)

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      Your first haiku? Awesome for sure and excellent concerning the complexities of friendships. In His Love, Faith Reaper

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 4 years ago from United States

      I, along with all the other people who commented, think you did an excellent job with your first Haiku.

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Dear Faith, thank you for your delightful comment. Yes, friendship, like all relationship, can be complex, lol

      Appreciate your visit!

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hi Pamela! Thank you from the bottom of my heart... To you and everyone else for the support! I think I still have a long way to go to perfect it, lol

      Appreciate your stopping by!

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      That's it. jump in with both feet. feels good.

      Let me share this: Tell Shakespeare about the rules of poetry. ;-)

    • carter06 profile image

      Mary 4 years ago from Cronulla NSW

      I can't say I understand how Haiku poems work too well but your expression is great LaThing... I do really like your writing...up & awesome& shared...cheers

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. Very well done. Lovely Haikus. Love the pics. A true friendship is a friendship till the end.

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      LOL, @MH...... Love you quote, Shakespeare and rules! And it does feel good to jump in with both feet, doesn't it?! Appreciate your comment....

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hi Carter, yeah, I am not exactly sure how they work either just know that it is 5-7-5. I believe it is not suppose to rhyme but had to have some kind of rhyme in it..... :))

      Really appreciate your stopping by, thanks!

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Gypsy Rose, thanks for dropping in, and the votes..... Friendship is something special between people who understands each other, there is always some kind of bond that exist! Appreciate your visits.....

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Congratulations on your first great haiku!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Hi, great haiku and you did it beautifully! friendship can sometimes be mistaken by others for something else, but the friends themselves know different, wonderful stuff! voted up! cheers nell

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hi, Lesley! Thanks...... Appreciate your stopping by :)

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hi, Nell, Great to see you here! You captured the essence of the haiku..... Friendship can be mistaken by others for something else.

      Thanks for the vote :)

    • CrazedNovelist profile image

      A.E. Williams 4 years ago from Hampton, GA

      Awesome first haiku, La!! :) Very cool.

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Thanks, Aubrey :)) very sweet of you to stop by!

    • Olde Cashmere profile image

      Olde Cashmere 4 years ago from Michigan, United States

      Excellent writing for your first Haiku poem LaThing. Wonderful job, voted up, awesome, and beautiful :)

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      Congrats on your first haiku. You did a real good job on the complxities of friendships

    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      Congratsss Lathing (im spying you again...hehehe).. All my votes! (pls check your email too.) hugs

    • LaThing profile image
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      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Thanks James, for all the votes AND for stopping by! Love to see you here :))

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hi, Rosemay! For the comment and your visit!

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hey there, Spy! You can spy on me anytime, lol.... Thanks for stopping by, appreciate it! :)

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Is there any THING you cannot write, LA...?

      I love ya, girl... Voted UP & ABI...! Hugs, Maria

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Haha..... I am learning from you guys, The Pros!! :)

      Thanks for all the votes, and love to see you here! Hugs back at ya :))

    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      That's a great set. Nicely done and you can really feel all the emotions and true feelings, really powerful!

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Thanks, Max! I don't think the one I wrote it for understood what I was saying, LOL, I need more practice!

      Appreciate your comment....

    • profile image

      Sueswan 4 years ago

      Hi LaThing

      "Sunny on the side

      Of my world that you can't be

      Your words comfort me."

      Beautiful! I enjoyed your haiku.

      Voted up and beautiful

      Have a good weekend

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hi, Sue! Glad you enjoyed it..... Thanks for all your votes and for stopping by :)

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 4 years ago from New York City

      Lathing, friendships at least the true ones surely come a dime a dozen, I thing someone is becoming a true friend of yours by sharing this cool hub of your on facebook for ya, and she goes by the name of Sueswan. (That's if she wasn't a good friend of yours already)

      I just noticed it in one of the groups on facebook, and I had to check this out, I loved your poem here.

      I have a few real friends in my life, actually 1 of them is a fellow hubber, and to avoid from being far to mushy here, I will refrain from announcing who he is, but its oh so cool to make true friends.

      Thanks for sharing a fragment of your heart with us here, and I truly enjoy your writing style, and definitely your poetry. Thumbs UP! getting shared.

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Thanks Mike, for letting me know ..... And THANK YOU SUESWAN :))

      You are a darling!

      I truly think that finding a true friend is like finding a treasure, it's rich in fellowship, and trust! It sure is cool, Mike :)

      Really, really appreciate your stopping by, Friend!

    • Ryem profile image

      Ryem 4 years ago from Maryland

      I don't know much about haiku, but you're an excellent writer. That loving bond between friends is one of the best kinds of connections that people can have and you wrote about it beautifully. : )

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hi Ryem, glad to see you again! Yes, a bond between friends are the best kind..... Thanks for stopping by and commenting :)

    • Senoritaa profile image

      Senoritaa 4 years ago

      Friendship is the best thing that can happen to anyone, and your collection says it all. Yes the syllable count is a bit imperfect, but the flow of your words are more than perfect!!

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Thanks for stopping by. I know it's bit off and I am trying to practice more to make it right. The other haikus that I have written are way off, LOL..... getting there though :))

      Thanks for your helpful comment, appreciate it!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Hi LaThing! I prefer the sunshine over the storm, but a good storm is always nice to appreciate the sunshine. Well done!:)

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      You are absolutely right,Linda! And I love a good thunder storm from time to time, too! Thanks for stopping by.... Hugs from here :)

    • profile image

      Gina 4 years ago

      Very good. It has a lot of truth in it to.Good job!

    • profile image

      Sueswan 4 years ago

      Hi LaThing

      It was my pleasure to share your First Haiku :)

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Hi, Gina, glad you came by! Thanks for the comment .... :)

    • LaThing profile image
      Author

      LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

      Dear Sue, thanks for sharing my poems...... Really appreciate it! You are a wonderful friend :))

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