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Flatulence is Funny - Poetry

Updated on February 3, 2013
 John Bull emits an explosive bout of flatulence at a poster of George III as an outraged William Pitt the Younger ticks him off. Proof it was even considered funny in 1798.
John Bull emits an explosive bout of flatulence at a poster of George III as an outraged William Pitt the Younger ticks him off. Proof it was even considered funny in 1798. | Source

This is my very first attempt at writing poetry probably since I was at school (far too many years ago!). I'm not sure why I feel the need to give it a go, I blame Hub Pages, it's given me a bug... Tell me if it's rubbish, I'll delete it like a shot, except I don't know how it's going to turn out yet, so I might not!

My inspiration is my husband, who is in bed while I write.

Here goes..


Flatulence is funny

In our house.

Mornings start musically

From bedrooms

Different tones and lengths

Like a competition

(The walls are thin),

We all snigger to ourselves

Until dad enters the game

Then no-one else can win!


It continues for a while

Until we have to get up,

Then we pretend to frown

Say it's time to stop.

We don't though.

Dad rides bareback

Gets son in the face

I pretend to disaprove

Keeping well out the way!


Later at night

When we've done our days work

We return home

To noises like

Poop!

Parp!

And Frrrruupp!

"Wind's getting up" we say,


Ever "palmed a fart"?

I feel a "how to" hub coming on

But I digress...


So if you come to dinner

In our house

We'll all try to behave,

And control those naughty noises

Maybe we'll save

Them all for when you've left

Because we do have some manners you know!

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    • ashleeosborn profile image

      ashleeosborn 4 years ago

      I actually laughed out loud. A very funny, feel good poem. I enjoyed it.

    • Jennifer Stone profile image
      Author

      Jennifer Stone 4 years ago from the Riverbank, England

      Ashleeosborn, thank you! I've been worried everyone would say it's rubbish just because I invited them to at the beginning! Thanks for your feedback, it means alot! :-)

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 4 years ago

      It reminds me of my ex-husband and kids years ago! Amusing now, but it wasn't so at the time. For Christmas one year recently I gave my eldest son a book by Benjamin Franklin called "Fart Proudly". You might want to check it out.

    • Jennifer Stone profile image
      Author

      Jennifer Stone 4 years ago from the Riverbank, England

      Thanks for reading and commenting MizBejabbers, I'll check it out! Take care, Jen

    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      Enjoyable read Jen. More! More!

    • Jennifer Stone profile image
      Author

      Jennifer Stone 4 years ago from the Riverbank, England

      Thanks unknown spy, more coming soon! ;-)

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 4 years ago from Clinton CT

      Hilarious. Your title caught me! :)

    • Jennifer Stone profile image
      Author

      Jennifer Stone 4 years ago from the Riverbank, England

      Thanks Julie! :-D

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Very clever poem! Who would have thought passing some gas could be so amusing! Ha!

    • Jennifer Stone profile image
      Author

      Jennifer Stone 4 years ago from the Riverbank, England

      Thanks Sunshine625, I enjoyed writing it!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 4 years ago from California

      Clever and entertaining write!

    • Jennifer Stone profile image
      Author

      Jennifer Stone 4 years ago from the Riverbank, England

      Thanks AudreyHowitt, I appreciate your feedback. Jen

    • Montana Jim profile image

      Montana Jim 4 years ago from Montana

      If it makes ANYONE smile or laugh..It is NOT a failure..

      WRITE....right?

    • Jennifer Stone profile image
      Author

      Jennifer Stone 4 years ago from the Riverbank, England

      Right! Thanks Montana Jim, I think my branching out into the world of writing poetry is a success, so I will continue! :-)

    • QudsiaP1 profile image

      QudsiaP1 4 years ago

      Hahahaha! Absolutely hilarious! I loved it!

    • Jennifer Stone profile image
      Author

      Jennifer Stone 4 years ago from the Riverbank, England

      Thanks QudsiaP1! :-)

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      ..no pretense here and I love you and your style for it - long make you rock and roll all the way up to the top - the title gave it away though - I knew just from the start it was going to be hilarious - lake erie time 7:55pm ontario canada and sending you warm wishes and good energy

    • Jennifer Stone profile image
      Author

      Jennifer Stone 4 years ago from the Riverbank, England

      Hehehehe... Epigramman, I did kinda give it away in the title.. Maybe I should work on that.. :-) Thanks muchly and good energy with hugs attached coming right back at ya from the riverbank in England! Jen

    • girishpuri profile image

      Girish puri 4 years ago from NCR , INDIA

      ha ha ha ha ....lol, you make my day.

    • Jennifer Stone profile image
      Author

      Jennifer Stone 4 years ago from the Riverbank, England

      Thank you girishpuri, if I've made you laugh then you've made my day too! :-) All the best, Jen

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