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For Me To Live You Must Die

Updated on November 5, 2015

The smell of death lingers in the room. Total silence penetrates the walls. As we both looked lost for words the gory stare at each other seems to be the only thing we can agree on. That once warm and gentle feeling I had for you was gone, and the sudden urge of hate and anger oozed within my flesh. Dark thoughts slowly creep into my mind and the innocent child in me couldn't bare to watch this unlawful sight . As I take a moment to reflect on the man I use to be, the smirk on your face grows bigger doubting whether I can be that person again.

I was the life of the party; my family was pretty cool too they loved having me around. Dad used to say my laugh could light up the room but as the memory fades away the daunting reality hits me… I no longer know how to laugh or smile. All that is left is an empty body whose soul is lost and nowhere to be found.

Looking at you was unbearable, it reminded me of how much I hated myself. I used to run to you like a child not knowing or caring about the consequences. Waking up in the middle of the night constantly whispering into my ear to “Do it just one more time.” I tried to fight this feeling but with every breath I took, the lure of temptation grew stronger and I only had myself to blame.

Struggling to hold back the tears I let go and screamed “Look what you've done to me!”.......

Confused by this sudden revelation I fall to my knees, smacked with the bitter taste of guilt rotting in my mouth. At this point I couldn't feel any worse. You pushed me too far but in the end this was all my own doing.

Unable to take this all in, I look up to see that filthy grin taking center stage and the mournful mood becomes ever present. Resisting the urge to do wrong I make a plea with myself to hold back this dangerous force but I was weak, doubtful and resigned to not winning this battle.

The whispers became darker and cruel, binding me down to the floor .I was trapped and begging for this merciless nightmare to end, when a small voice speaks to me warm and kind. Not sure whether to listen, it speaks to me again but this time it cuts through the sunless atmosphere and rushes straight to my heart.

All I could think of was the cry of these powerful words coming to my rescue .I couldn't understand why someone or something would want to save me , my heart was moved by such love I’d never felt .

Dawn broke out and the skies became clear. Still lying on the floor I look up to see you hiding in the corner scared and worried.Your tricks were out of touch , the whispers were muted and the Juggernaut life figure you walked around in became weak and spineless . There was no place for you here, and slowly you became forgotten until nobody could recognize who you were.

Months had passed and I was enjoying life again with a sense of purpose and responsibility. Sometimes you would watch me from afar hoping that I would fall. I sit alone knowing that at any moment you might try and strike again, but i'm comforted by those words of wisdom and remind myself that

' For me to live you must die’....

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    • mikielikie profile image

      mikielikie 5 years ago from Texas

      very interesting. You have a way with words. great job!

    • The original Eman profile image
      Author

      The original Eman 5 years ago from london

      Thanks mikielike i'm glad you enjoy reading this hub. Be sure to check out my other stuff and let me know what you think .

    • Ardie profile image

      Sondra 5 years ago from Neverland

      Ah, I wondered where this would go. Now I see and I enjoyed reading it! However that's no surprise since I have enjoyed reading everything you write. Keep them coming and I will keep returning :)

    • The original Eman profile image
      Author

      The original Eman 5 years ago from london

      Lol Ardie you have become favorite person on hubpage :) . You seem to understand where I'm coming from when i write I'm glad i met you here .

    • Leptirela profile image

      Leptirela 5 years ago from I don't know half the time

      more than a way with words...this is great style you got going on..deep stuff

      vote up and interesting

    • The original Eman profile image
      Author

      The original Eman 5 years ago from london

      Thank you Leptirela i'm just trying to explore the mind set of humanity and the constant struggles we face . Hopefully i can create a solution through my words. Thanks for reading this hub

    • shanaya profile image

      shanaya 5 years ago from Living in my Own Dreams:)

      Hey Eman! Great concept and wonderfully written by YOU. Loved & Enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing with us.:)

      BTW Thanks for the Mail and Am Glad to meet you.:)

      voted up, awesome, interesting, awesome.

      with lots of Respect

      from SHANAYA:)

    • The original Eman profile image
      Author

      The original Eman 5 years ago from london

      Hey shanaya I'm glad you enjoyed reading this hub and I hope you was able to take something magical from reading this too. We all have an addiction but i think its fair to say we have to acknowledge it, and find those words which will help us to gradually win that battle .

    • Awful Poet profile image

      David Walston 5 years ago from The Large Magellanic Cloud (LMC) (m-M)_0 = 18.41, or 48 kpc (~157,000

      I adore this piece, How amazing.

    • The original Eman profile image
      Author

      The original Eman 5 years ago from london

      I'm touched by your comment Awful Poet, thank you. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this thanks again .

    • Zac828 profile image

      Zac828 5 years ago from England

      Hey Eman, this is amazing, such rich language and attention to detail.

      "the gory stare at each other seems to be the only thing we can agree on"

      That is a beautiful line and says so much with so few words. Really very good, keep writing.

    • The original Eman profile image
      Author

      The original Eman 5 years ago from london

      Hey Zac thank you for reading this piece i'm really glad that you enjoyed it. Your vote of confidence in me makes me know i'm on the right path .I will be checking out your hubs so don't stop writing lol.

    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 5 years ago from Close to Heaven

      Eman you are such a good writer. Love the words you use. Voted up.

    • April Reynolds profile image

      April Reynolds 5 years ago from Arizona

      I have enjoyed several of your stories tonight Eman. They are all so bittersweet, very vivid and descriptive. They touch my heart.

    • Senoritaa profile image

      Senoritaa 5 years ago

      That one was smooth and deep. Darkness and light playing together and against each other. You are a fine writer.

    • The original Eman profile image
      Author

      The original Eman 5 years ago from london

      Thank you senoritaa for reading this short story.I appreciate your comments and i'm glad you enjoyed reading this hub.

    • The original Eman profile image
      Author

      The original Eman 5 years ago from london

      Thank you April you are a blessing and your words touch me . Thank you for reading this hub

    • iva dragostinova profile image

      iva dragostinova 5 years ago from Brighton, UK

      Beautiful...I'm at that place now..thank you

    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Deep, loved it a lot, philosophical and touching to the core.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      very well written

    • The original Eman profile image
      Author

      The original Eman 4 years ago from london

      Thanks mhatter for reading this story your comments are very kind.

    • rahul0324 profile image

      Jessee R 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      Wonderful and beautiful deep creative writing my friend...

      the philosophy put into words in a crafty and literary fashion makes reading it more fascinating

    • The original Eman profile image
      Author

      The original Eman 4 years ago from london

      Rahul you are another great writer that i enjoy reading very much. I am very happy that you enjoyed reading this story. Your words are very kind my friend, please stay in touch...

    • ALUR profile image

      ALUR 4 years ago from USA

      Brilliant. I felt the tense pressure of fear and the words are alluring into a dark abyss. I'm glad I happened upon you.

      You're welcome to read/rate my hubs as well:)

    • The original Eman profile image
      Author

      The original Eman 4 years ago from london

      Greetings Alur, Thank you for taking the time to read my short story. Your words are truly appreciated and I look forward to checking out your stuff too.

    • CBM1987 profile image

      CBM1987 4 years ago

      Damn bro, sent chills down my spine. The familiarity of that all for me it was that one relationship, the convenience of it running back to each other. I like to listen to music when I read "five finger death punch : remember everything". voted up cant wait to read more!

    • The original Eman profile image
      Author

      The original Eman 4 years ago from london

      CBM, thank you so much for reading this short story. I really enjoyed writing this and It's good to know that you too have experienced something like this too. I too listen to music when I read and I will be checking out this song that have your recommended . Stay in touch bro

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