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Four Seasons Without You

Updated on June 21, 2013


I remember it, like it was YESTERDAY.

On January 10th of last year, around nine in the morning, forever you went AWAY.

I begged you not to leave as the wind fiercely BLEW.

You said as much as it hurts, that this is what you needed to DO.

Those words cut me like a KNIFE.

For the last five years you were the focus of my LIFE.

About 15 minutes after you left, I was standing by the window, just STARING.

For you to have a change of heart and come home, I was PREPARING.

That night I barely slept a WINK.

From that moment on, slowly into depression I began to SINK.

Everyday was a blizzard, no glimpse of the SUN.

Not fully realizing that my nightmare had just BEGUN.

Even with the heat on, there remained a CHILL.

Was l losing my mind, because it didn't seem REAL.

I hated you so much, the rage in my tears caused my eyes to BURN.

I wanted you to hurt like I hurt and that one day soon, you'd have your TURN.

Yet, I loved you, thinking that there was no storm we couldn't WEATHER.

No matter how frigid it was we'd make it through the winter TOGETHER.


Around the end of March, I watched as the snow began to MELT.

The beauty of April had arrived, yet it didn't change how I FELT.

April showers bring May flowers is what they SAY.

In despair, I never took in the beauty of the DAY.

As somber music played, I retreated to my ROOM.

Ever so often, I'd peek out the window and notice the red, yellow, purple and green of the flower's BLOOM.

The smallest of things would become sad reminders to ME.

I missed how we'd cuddle while watching TV.

Gentle showers would only add to my PAIN.

One of our dirty little secrets, was how we always made love during the RAIN.

The winter had gone and though I was getting a little better, I couldn't enjoy SPRING.

I was optimistic of what the summer would BRING.


Today is the 7th of JUNE.

Summer has arrived and not a moment too SOON!

This has always been my favorite time of YEAR.

For solace, I went to watch the pelicans and seagulls down at the PIER.

Once again, I see the image of your FACE.

Haunted, because the beach was our much beloved PLACE.

No more winter, freezing temperatures, or shoveling SNOW.

Spring, though beautifully nice, wasn't warm enough for us to GO.

We loved coming here on the Fourth of JULY.

It was funny, how we'd ooh and ah as the fireworks lit up the SKY.

You loved hot dogs and always dipped your Lay's potato chips in ICE CREAM.

At times, we'd spread a blanket on the beach, lie down and DREAM.

Conversations of our future took place as we strolled the shore hand in HAND.

Through out the day we'd play, eat, and build castles in the SAND.

Thinking of this hurts like hell, but it does make me SMILE.

It's now the end of August and I don't plan to return here for AWHILE.


I've made it through the winter, spring, and summer, it is now FALL.

I'm pulling myself together and giving it my ALL.

The fact remains that parts of my life will never be the SAME.

Almost a year later, I get choked up when I look at your picture in that golden FRAME.

My parents say, "get over her and find yourself a new GIRL'"

They say, "son, you're so young, go out and explore the WORLD."

I'm gaining strength more and more each DAY.

Progress had been made and I'm proud of myself if I must SAY.

The weather is so nice and COOL.

I've even thought of going back to SCHOOL.

Friends have been great with their SUPPORT.

I enjoy watching football, my favorite SPORT.

As I look around the brown, red, and green leaves fall from the TREE.

Just like that oak, I will stand tall through it all and become a newer and stronger ME.


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    • Cantuhearmescream profile image


      5 years ago from New York

      Oh... yeah, Google+... I'd forgotten about that one (I only even realized that existed when I was stalking AdSense, demanding the let me into their program... lol) Yeah, I'll shoot you an email if you don't mind... might not be until morning... and I'll try to tell ya all the little things that nobody told me in the beginning and we'll just go from there.

    • Man of Strength profile imageAUTHOR

      Man of Strength 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Matter of fact I went to your Google+ page last week. I'll appreciate any help you may offer.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image


      5 years ago from New York

      Well, you're definitely on a good path. I like to bounce around myself... though I have to admit it's kind of hard for me to transition back and forth from serious to funny, poetry to non-poetry and not because I don't have plenty to say, but because I think people are expecting 'certain hubs' from me. But hey, they don't read 'em all anyway huh? I'll let you in on a little secret. When I first started, I wrote a "Remember the 80's hub" and I liked doing that so much and I had run into a lot of 90's material in the process, that really made me realize how far away the 90's were, I started to do a hub for every year of the 90's and then just abruptly stopped. Here's the secret. Hubbers don't visit those hubs... I rarely if ever get a comment on them and that's okay, it doesn't bother me. But... my '80's' hub, gets viewed every day! And if you type '80's cartoons' into a Google search engine... I come up on the first page (even though I'm 12th down) and if you type in 'Remember 80's cartoons' I'm 6th down... so there are things to write about that might not bring a lot of hub traffic but it will bring outside traffic. Also, I created my Pinterest, Twitter and FaceBook... completely for HP (I already had a 'real' FB and I didn't have a Pinterest or Twitter. When I first got here, after publishing a hub... I'd share them. Now that I have 'hub friends' on all of those locations... I feel a little silly promoting and so I don't do it as often, but I always pin... nobody seems to catch those... lol. I'm sure you could get more traffic by implementing those things, also... I've learned how to add each url, specifically as a channel to my AdSense... if you don't know I could help you. Also... if you arrange your hubs to 'groups', groups that you name yourself, within your own account page... there will be a 'previous' and a 'next' of your own hubs on each of your hubs... if you don't know what I mean, go look at one of my pages. I didn't even realize that was the power of grouping my hubs until a couple of weeks ago. Then, if someone is on your page and likes your work, there are two more hubs right there, conveniently at their disposal to click on.

      Ah... nothing is a mistake, only a lesson. I was a mother at 19 and though it might've had some disadvantages... I've gotten to grow up with my kids, while I've had energy, you know? I give you a lot of credit for being such a stand up dad!

      Syracuse? Wow... that's only about 45 minutes from here! Cold in June... lol, well I've been running the heater at night, but painting my house yesterday I got a combination of a sunburn/tan... and I was sweating... trust me, I enjoyed every minute of it! lol

    • Man of Strength profile imageAUTHOR

      Man of Strength 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      It does take patience. I'm finally about to have 1,000 views. I'm still trying to learn SEO and make more attractive titles on my non poem hubs. They don't do as well. Also, I need to use social media more. I made lots of mistakes from my late teens to my mid 20's. I became a dad at 21 and was overwhelmed with all the responsibility that comes with that. I almost forgot, I have family in Syracuse and they'd send pictures of snow everywhere. I'd go there in June and it would be cold to me.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image


      5 years ago from New York

      Well you certainly packed a punch in there! lol... I can't help but smile when I'm on your pages... look at that big ol' smile of yours, it's contagious! Oh, so what were you saying? lol

      There is not a doubt in my mind that you'll make money here but I truly hope you are willing to be patient and each person is different, but 'tween you and me and whoever else happens to read this.. lol... I just hit 10,000 views and I'm probably at an 'accumulated' approx. $30... so, I don't know what that means. But, I will tell you that the growth seems somewhat exponential, which is ideal. I've heard many, many hubbers say that once they've made that $50 payout threshold in a month, they've 'cashed out' every month there after. So patience and diligence are probably two of the biggest things to have right now. I'm thinking, if we just make hubs on top of hubs (over time, of course) there will be days that we'll be making money off of hubs that we wrote a year ago... you know what I mean? The hubs will kind of do the work for us.

      A firefighter and a journalist and you didn't get to do either? :-( ... Hey, it's not to late to be a volunteer firefighter, but this, creating a presence on the internet could lead you in any number of directions! I imagine you could go anywhere you'd like, if you wanted it enough!

      A natural? Well, I'll definitely take that as a compliment. I think what I have has just come from asking a million questions, pondering all, and never shutting up :D ... lol

    • Man of Strength profile imageAUTHOR

      Man of Strength 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Of course, I thank you so much. You have been very supportive. Eventually, I'd like to make money on here but I know that's a while away. In high school, I wanted to be a journalist but got sidetracked. You're such a natural, have you taken classes?

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image


      5 years ago from New York

      It's funny, because the first time I stepped a little 'out of the box' and wrote a poem, everyone responded as if it was 100% mirroring me... I was thinking 'should I have a disclaimer?' lol... I'll wrote about falling in love today and everyone congratulates me, I write about a broken heart tomorrow and they offer their condolences... I almost feel like I should say 'No, it's okay, really!' You are right and I agree with you... I think we take things, parts, feelings from our real life and then expand, sometimes farther than others. I love work... regardless of the reality percentages... I hope you know I was being playful up there... you don't want to go throwing away your biggest fan :D

    • Man of Strength profile imageAUTHOR

      Man of Strength 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Hi Cat,

      Most of my poems are based on characters in my mind. Of course, I'll take elements from my life experiences and use them but it's mostly my imagination. Around Memorial Day, I wrote "Corporal Jones." Yes I served in the Marines but he was a fictional character. His name was Sgt. Adams at first, before I changed his name and rank. ;-) This is art to me and I see us all as artists.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image


      5 years ago from New York


      Oh my... are you telling me that my heart has felt for your pain and dunking potato chips into your ice cream is the biggest connection you have to this? lol... Okay, I'm laughing, but I'm not sure it's funny :D

      Honestly, that 75% being fiction just makes you even more of an impressive writer.... I was so feeling your pain... and I can't believe you haven't seen a blizzard in real life! Ugh!!! Hey... anytime you're ready for a road trip, my door's always open... you want to experience a blizzard, come up any time between November and March! lol... Welcome to my world!

    • rose-the planner profile image

      rose-the planner 

      5 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      Wow.......such an emotionally charged and beautiful poem! Thank you for sharing. (Voted Up) -Rose

    • Man of Strength profile imageAUTHOR

      Man of Strength 

      5 years ago from Orlando, Fl

      Most of my serious work is 25% autobiographical and 75% fiction. Besides my time in the Marine Corps, I've lived in Florida my whole life. The only blizzard I've seen is on tv. As a kid we'd go to the store and get soft serve ice cream and dip our chips in it. So it's a good mix of realness and creativity.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image


      5 years ago from New York

      Man of Strength,

      I don't care what you say; I know at least some of this is autobiographical; I can feel it!!! Maybe not Lay's potato chips in ice cream, but there are definitely moments in here that I can relate to my own life. Who can't appreciate and recognize the sentiments you've so beautifully and descriptively described? Even when we end a relationship ourselves there is a mourning and a healing that takes place. I so love this and I'm starting to really recognize a personal style you've developed... and very much appreciate it!

      So up and more... sharing too!

      Keep 'em coming!




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