Friends in Forgotten Places
Friends share tears.
My muse is feeling sorry for me.
Just recently I have learned a very hard lesson in life; it is a simple fact that the friends you thought that you had are not the friends you hoped them to be. Now, before you think this is another depressing write from the pen of the bluestar, you are wrong. Actually, although truthful, it has allowed me to view my life from a completely different perspective.
Injustice, happens everywhere we live, in every walk of life and with every scenario that faces us. The Collins Dictionary describes injustice as:- Unfairness, bias, discrimination, inequality, inequity, iniquity, oppression, partisanship, prejudice and finally, wrong.
At this point I know you are wondering what the meaning of all this is and where I am leading with this? Let me explain to you. All of my life I have followed a code of ethics and conduct that I was taught as a child. Namely, to treat other people as you would wish them to treat you. Never judge without knowledge, respect other people and if in a position of anger, turn the other cheek.
Life, has dealt me some bitter blows over the years, but I always trusted my friends to see me through the good and bad times. To have reached the grand age of fifty six, to suddenly realise that my friends have only supported me within certain parameters of my life has been a shock. Standing side by side, facing the world full on and not turning my head to misinterpretations of will have suddenly caused me to react with alarm and fear.
It would seem that friends only support you if they can agree with the problem that you are experiencing. I love my friends unconditionally, but it would appear that for my life I have been misguided. It is fine to expect your friends to say “well done” when you gain a new job or qualification; or to hug you and be your strength in times of pain, or to even laugh and share your hiccups in life. Why then do they not support you when you suddenly believe and act on a situation completely out of the box? Are we to understand from this that as friends we are conditioned to only support what we feel comfortable with, despite the consequences and pain we cause to a true friend?
I have been torn apart by the loss of some of my most precious friends when I suddenly became involved with an incarcerated man. Instead of being honest and truthful with their opinions, they have chosen to not comment at all, and in fact have walked away. Have I changed, am I not recognisable any more, maybe I have grown two heads, or is it just that the situation is too complicated for them to feel comfortable with? I can’t answer those questions because you see, I haven’t changed. I have always supported the lame ducks in life. I have always found a reason to extend a warm welcome to every race and colour, and I am still the same person with the heart that they always loved.
I am not expecting my friends to support the same man, or to even like him, just to understand that it is what I want to do and I won’t ever change being me. So why have they all turned their backs and become silent in spoken word and actions?
Remember this people?
Just a few thoughts.
A comforting whisper from loving lips
A kind touch across a windswept face
Eyes that sparkle with laughter and fondness
We grow to appreciate one another
A reassuring hug in quiet places
A loving smile across the table top
A hand outstretched to welcome me home
Is the blessing that only a kindred spirit can offer?
Soft touches comforting in hard places
Overwhelming trust in times of loss
A phone call in times of pain
We all need this and much, much more.
Photographs that remind us of happy times
Of moments spent laughing with each other
A special gift on the dressing table
Smiles that we could share together
My friends, I miss you so much
I don’t want to cause you pain
I only ask for your hands outstretched again
I miss that embrace that said “it is OK”
My friends I miss you so, please don’t go