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Friendzone or Just Friends
“Hi, is this Rakesh?”
This was the first message she texted him, the first time they interacted. Palavi, the most beautiful girl, in his class, the girl he had crush on since the day he saw her, and that day he couldn’t believe when the same girl with whom he had been trying to get in contact with for the past 12 months had suddenly messaged him, no doubt that she needed help with some assignment and since he was the class representative, she came to him for help.
Rakesh, generally was a very confident young fellow, but on that particular day, when he replied, ‘Yes’ his hands were shaking, so badly that he was unable to type the simple word for quite some time. He helped her, of course with whatever it was she needed, and so their interactions started.
Slowly and slowly, they grew up to be friends, the flowers of their friendship started to bloom and both of them were happy. She was happy, that she had finally gotten a true friend and he was happy enough just to be a part of her life, for he had never expected in his wildest of dreams to reach where he was currently. He could talk to her daily, make her smile, hear her laughter, and console her when she was sad, he could do everything, he had wanted, except say the words ‘I Love You’.
A year had passed like this. He used to help her in everything he could and in exchange for one sweet smile from her was all he asked for. She would smile and say thank you and then they would fight, for he didn’t like her saying thank you or sorry, it was something you say to strangers not to someone you call a friend, to him after a while, it appeared as if she used to say it just to tease him.
And as the time passed, the love that he had cultivated in the name of friendship only grew stronger. He couldn’t bear the distance from her anymore, he thought again and again that he would say to her, “I love you” but every time the thought crossed his mind, he would stop it right there, for he didn’t want to end the friendship that was so dear to him and even more so to her, he used to stop thinking that by being selfish, by asking for too much he would ruin the one precious thing in life that he had gained, and he would also ruin the notion of friendship for her, and hurting her in this way, was not something he ever wanted.
And so he stopped, few more months had passed, but now his strength was fading away. He couldn’t resist it any longer, so her decided that today he would tell her everything, so he took out a piece of paper and started to pen down his thoughts, for he didn’t have the courage to say it to her face, he didn’t not have the strength to bear to her face when she would come to know what he felt about her, he couldn’t bear to see her hurt, and that too because of him.
The next day when they met, he was awfully quite, a small piece of parchment lying in his pocket would now change their lives forever, for the better or worse, here he was, ready to confess his feelings, the feelings he was able to suppress for 2 long years. But now he couldn’t keep them in check, for the 6 hours that their classes would go for.
After many centuries had passed, finally all the classes were over, and when they were headed to their respected hostels, he handed her the paper and told her to read it.
A look of realization dawned on Palavi’s face, she knew what was in that paper, before she had read it, so the day was here, she thought,
She went to her hostel, and started to read,
It was the first week of February when you messaged me the first time, I was sitting on my bed, had just began my favorite novel, when my phone vibrated. My hands trembled as I read it was a message from you. But our story does not start from there, it starts long back, when I saw you in the college on the first day, and then in my class, in the first lecture. I was shocked to see you there, wearing a black top and sky blue jeans, with your brownish hair tied up in a neat bun, you looked dazzling, that was the time when I lost it, when I lost my heart to you, Rakesh, they guy who had never even lost a bet, lost his heart to you on the first day of college, on the first glance.
I wanted to talk to you always, but never had the guts to, and then a year had passed and you messaged me, and the fire of our friendship lit. Even when we were friends, I never forgot the feelings I had for you, in fact they just grew stronger, but I never crossed my limits, never tried to flirt with you or anything like that, I was genuinely your friend, a friend who was madly in love with you, but how could I have said that, how could I have felt that, it was wrong, because we were just friends.
Every time you cried, every time somebody had hurt you, I wanted to hug you in a tight embrace and never let you go, so that I could have shielded you from the world outside, but I didn’t, every time you laughed, every time you were genuinely happy I wanted to capture the moment, to freeze the time in that particular moment, for it was rare for you to truly smile, but how could I have done any of that, I had no right, I had no right to feel that way, for we were just friends.
Every time you were sick, I wanted to stay by your side, the entire time so that I could have taken care of you until you are well again, every time you went somewhere on a trip, I wanted to be by your side, so that I could protect you from any harm that may come your way, whenever you were depressed I wanted to pray to the God for your happiness, but how could I do any of this, I had no right to do this, it was wrong for me to feel this way because we are just friends.
I know you may feel cheated, I know what I felt about you was wrong on my part, but if what I feel is wrong I don’t know and don’t want to know what is right anymore, what I want to say is Palavi, that I love you, I have been madly in love with you since the first day that I saw you, I wanted to scream it to the world of my love, wanted to confess it in front of you, but how could I have, we were just friends.
She folded the paper her eyes wet and her face laden with anger. She called him immediately and they decided to meet in 5 minutes.
Rakesh was at the edge of his heels, when she arrived, they greeted, the expressions on her face pained him, it was exactly the type of thing he had feared, the exact kind of thing he wanted to avoid, but couldn’t do so, after all it was god’s will.
Before he could apologies, she came close to him, and slapped him tightly across his face, when he looked at her, her eyes were red from crying, tears still wetted her eyes, at that moment he wanted to kill himself, how could he be so selfish, he regretted every moment of his decision, he shouldn’t have done that was all he could think.
He tried to apologies again, but this time before he could speak, she came closer and kissed him. Their lips met for the first time, as he embraced her completely in his arms, and she seemed to just melt away. When they parted she said,
“You idiot, we were never just friends, if it was actually help I was looking for, I could have asked anyone, I could have asked my friends and they would have been more than happy, I wanted to talk to you and in 12 months that I had waited for you, I knew that you didn’t have the courage, so I devised a way.”
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he was speechless for the first time, so in his reply he just embraced her in his arms, like she was his most treasured possession, which she was.