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My Revelations !!!
My womanhood started obstructing me from my actions. Without any action how can be a person called a human being? The human being in me started perishing… I never recognized that…all I had in my heart was, “nobody loves me”. The stage of womanhood brought in me so many doubts, for which I wanted clear answers. Some I got but still some I didn't because ‘I am a woman’. ‘I am a woman’…this a really wonderful sentence you know? It can destroy you and it can create. For me the destruction part came first with its greatest blow.
My first love…my first love was very sweet. His charm took me to another world and I felt him so much that I forgot my sorrows in no time. I wanted to be in his clasps…as always…It was magical. He was always with me but…he was not the one who was for me… after all how can I love LONELINESS? Yes, loneliness became my first love...I met loneliness the day I lost my childhood forever…it was love at first sight…The day I met him(loneliness)I was desperately searching for my lost childhood…tears were rolling down my cheeks. The word ‘No’ started becoming a common answer for all my questions. That day I heard loud talks, cursing, prayers, murmurs…the tears made me so frightened and I hid myself in my room. There he was waiting for me. He never allowed anybody to come near me. Held me so tight that I never wanted leave him anymore. It was a wonderful world of ours. Whenever something hurts me I ran into his hands and loneliness was there for me always. We did so many things together…he was such a good lover. That blow was so hard that it shattered me…loneliness was so possessive that my identity was slowly being wiped out. Now no one in my family really cared for me. Only loneliness was there for me…