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Frost-Bite Would Show

Updated on October 5, 2015

Flash Tales 8



He fought hard,

but he would almost fold,

his hands were cold,

his fingers aching,

he flexed them fitfully,

his body was shaking,

he felt the wind bend,

then he thought about the end,

he listened, watched, turned,

he listened again,

as the cold burned,

but it was the same,

no one came,

his legs twitched convulsively

beneath the snow,

then frost bite would show,

life would slow, and the oxygen low,

he turned slightly to shake off the worries,

but death whispered at him,

he began gasping, and grasping,

as death screamed, shattered all dreams,

and hope rushed away like streams,

it was deafening, furious,

loud and yet curious,

like the exaggerated barking

of a terrorized dog,

and finally life sailed in a cold fog.

Source

© 2015 Frank Atanacio

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    • dghbrh profile image

      deergha 2 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

      Wonderfully tragic but you always paint a very gloomy picture that is so vivid through your words. It was as if I could feel the deadly chilling wind across my own face in those first lines. Almost was holding my breath till your last sentence and yeah....what an end there it is!!!! You are wonderful as always, Frank. Thank you for this share. Voted up interesting and shared as well.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      thank you for stopping by dghbrh :) bless you

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      I'm shivering as I read of this icy death Frank...very vivid imagery in this poem.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      Well written and it reminded me of a tragic case up in Maine of snowmobilers who fell through the icy lake they were riding on. They weren't buried until Spring. Ground was too frozen and so were they.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Frank, you my friend are a master at describing death scenes. I'm sitting in my warm computer room , but I felt the cold and his pain. voted up and shared.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Here's a two-word description for you, Frank....bleakly beautiful! :)

    • Phyllis Doyle profile image

      Phyllis Doyle Burns 2 years ago from High desert of Nevada.

      Such a cold and lonely death. You describe it so well that the reader is right there in the snow with him. Well done, Frank. Up and shared.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I was just warming up on this winter morning, now I am so cold I will go back to bed and start all over again -- brrrr

    • profile image

      ArtDiva 2 years ago

      You certainly know how to deliver the dark side... and drawn to it as I was first reading Edgar Allen Poe. Think I'll go back and spend an afternoon reading your other offerings.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      I found myself associating this not only to a person but to a tree, especially as I read a few days ago about trees exploding in extreme cold!

      This is bleak, chilling and inevitable. Hope has gone, death creeps up.

      Your writing at its best.

      Ann

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 2 years ago from Nibiru

      hey franco, the cold is not for me....the fire burns deep. Nice, my kinda stuff

    • profile image

      Smilealot 2 years ago

      A great description of a desperate and losing, fight for life....Chilling stuff (sorry) Frank..voted up and awesome:-))

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 2 years ago from New York

      Geeze, here I am trying to get warm and you chill my bones! Well done as always my friend. Just the thought of freezing to death sends shivers up my spine.

      Voted up, awesome, and interesting.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      I sensed his fight to resist death, but it seems that when he shows up, even if anyone else is there, he wins. Sorry about his plight!

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 2 years ago

      I can visualize this perfectly. Good description. The image goes with the poem.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      What a chilling poem, in more ways than one! freezing to death must be awful, but you always write it so well! voted up and shared, nell

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

      This could be my story... so really tragic. Here it is winter and I am waiting on surgery on my neck before it gets dangerous and each time I have to go out in the cold (have to care for my chickens) I tell my husband to pay attention in case I am not back in a little while and he just doesn't even hear me! ( I mean what if I fall and can't get up?) I picture myself in this very position while he has got his nose in his computer and the volume so loud no amount of shouting could cut through! I do laugh about it while knowing full well this could be my story!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

      Wow, dramatic poetry here, dear Frank! Love it, and felt frantic while reading it due to the manner in which it was written. Well done! Brrr ... frost bite is no joke.

      Up +++ tweeting, pinning and sharing

      Stay warm ... with lots of hugs : )

    • Anna Haven profile image

      Anna Haven 2 years ago from Scotland

      You spin tales of demise so beautifully. Nicely done. :)

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 2 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Spine chillingly good, not a nice way to go but so well sone!!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Jodah and Flourishanyways for reading my frost bite

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      thank you Billybuc, Phylliss and always exploring for reading my poem

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      thank you Eric, Artdiva and annart for stopping by bless you

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Clive, smilealot, glad you liked it.. and Tilsontitan and MsDora always good to see you guys bless you all

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      Nell, Jackie and the lovedoctor.. happy new year guys and good to see you Marlene..thanks for reading my frost...:)

    • PurvisBobbi44 profile image

      PurvisBobbi44 2 years ago from Florida

      Hi,

      An awesome poem of death, and then the spirit life begins. Our time on earth is short, but our spirit world is forever. What do you believe?

      Bobbi Purvis

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Anna, My dear Faith and to business for reading my Frost

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      I believe in the ficion of it Purvis thanks for stopping by :)

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Happy New Year Frank! As always, a treat to read your work!

    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 2 years ago from Reno NV

      What an intense read, this poem takes you to the last breath in the cold. Well done. I hope you have a wonderful New Year. Jamie

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      thank you Audrey and jhamann.. happy new years to you guys too

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Now I gave you that whole story in a comment and did not even get a hit on it! p

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      of course i read it and i chuckled because it was amusing.. of course ur husband would not leave you out there to freeze...

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

      not on purpose...no....lol

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      ur comment actually made me laugh.. but so many people to say thanks for stopping by.. I plumbed forgot.. but it was the best comment I had in a long time.. thanks Jackie

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 2 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Shivering!

      Tragic but beautifully expressed and penned.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      thank you CrisSp...:)

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      As I feel the New England cold, this imagery seems all too real. Superb write, Frank! Stunning.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      thanks for visiting my frost bite Genna bless you

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 2 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      This had a well paced tempo. Both bold and cold.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      thanks mckbirdbks :)

    • The Examiner-1 profile image

      The Examiner-1 2 years ago

      That sure broke the ice in my books Frank. I thought that it was impressive. I voted up, shared and pinned it.

      Kevin

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      thanks kevin good to see you happy new year

    • LadyFiddler profile image

      Joanna Chandler 2 years ago from On planet Earth

      Hi hi good day to you Frank :)

      lovely poem

      Thank U for sharing with us

      ~``Have a wonderful day ``~

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
      Author

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      u too lady :)

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 2 years ago from Houston, Texas

      It must be terrible to die of such a death when caught out in the bitter cold like that. You not only paint the picture with broad strokes but also with the finer details with your words. Excellent job!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      thanks so much Peggy W.. bless you

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