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Calm Down With These Funny Keep Calm Quotes

Updated on January 8, 2020
stricktlydating profile image

StricktlyDating is an Australian writer who creates pages of original funny quotes and status updates.

A large and ever-growing collection of witty and funny "Keep calm" quotes. Laughable one-liners and phrases for status updates. A page you can share on Facebook and Twitter.

Because there are always times in our lives where we need to take a deep breath and keep calm!



Keep calm and Google it!

Keep calm you can count on me.

Keep calm and go shopping.

Keep calm and party hard.

Keep calm and pash and dash!

Keep calm and know there is always tomorrow.

Keep calm because no-one saw you do it.

Keep calm and carry on.

Keep calm. You can delete those Tweets.

Keep calm and turn it off and on again.

Keep calm it's almost their bed time.

Keep calm and get your gear off.

Keep calm and get your groove on.

Keep calm and party like a rock star!

Keep calm and dance.

Keep calm and get out of there!

Keep calm and fake your best smile.

Keep calm and make coffee.

Keep calm and drink beer.

Keep calm and have a pint.

Keep calm and admit to nothing.

Keep calm and call Batman.

Keep calm and count your blessings.

Keep calm and know all things happen for a reason.

Keep calm so you don't look ad childish as you feel.

Keep calm it's pay day tomorrow.

Keep calm some things just weren't meant to be.

Keep calm and call mom.

Keep calm and pretend you don't care.

Keep calm and dial a friend.

Keep calm and walk away.

Keep calm and log in to Facebook.

Keep calm and delete them from your friends list.

Keep calm and change your privacy settings.

Keep calm and you might just turn out to be the hero.

Keep calm and know Rome wasn't built in a day.

Keep calm and tell yourself to button your lips!

Keep calm so you look cooler than everyone!

Keep calm because loose lips sink ships!

Keep calm because it's really the right thing to do.

Keep calm or you might offend someone.

Keep calm and slide towards the exit sign!

Keep calm no one caught it on tape!

Keep Calm Quotes
Keep Calm Quotes

Keep calm, everyone will think it was just an accident.

Keep calm, mom will be here soon!

Keep calm, it's not your job to sort out this mess.

Keep calm, he might change his mind tomorrow!

Keep calm, you're not the first person to snog your boss.

Keep calm, you'll be able to deny this tomorrow.

Keep calm, when one door closes another one will open.

Keep calm and you'll be able to weather this storm.

Just repeat after me "Keep calm"

Keep calm now, you can lose it later!

Keep calm and say a prayer.

Keep calm, Monday is over.

Keep calm and know your looks will see you through.

Keep calm because they don't deserve to know they hurt you.

Keep calm, it looks better.

Keep calm and pretend you meant for this to happen.

Keep calm because you are not at fault.

Keep calm and walk away and never look back.

Keep calm so you look like the good guy.

Keep calm and go back to bed.

Keep calm and look like you know what you are doing.

Keep calm, it can be easily fixed and no one will even know it happened.

Keep calm your Grandma will know what to do.

Keep calm, it can be fun being single.

Keep calm, there's nothing wrong with you.

Keep calm you are almost an expert.

Keep calm until the results come back.

Keep calm it will taste better with ketchup.

Keep calm, it's not over yet.

Keep calm, you'll ace it next time.

Keep calm and pat a dog.

Keep calm it is fake fur.

Keep calm and save your reputation.

Keep calm because it won't help being angry.

Keep calm and pretend you're wearing a wedding ring.

Keep calm and think up a good excuse for being late.

Keep calm and call in that favor.

Keep calm, your parents will probably never find out.

Keep calm and realise this will be insignificant in the long run.

Keep calm, even though your face is going red.

Keep calm, it's probably in your handbag.

Keep calm, it can probably be fixed with duct tape.

Keep calm and prepare for the worst.

Keep calm, pretend it wasn't you.

Keep calm. No one cares about it.

Keep calm and just pretend it's a rumor.

Just do it. And keep calm!

Keep calm and stay sorted.

Keep calm and do it your way.

Keep calm and turn the radio up.

Keep calm and eat chocolate.

Keep calm you can diet tomorrow.

Keep calm and suit up.

Keep calm and frock on.

Keep calm, walk out the door and don't look back.

Keep calm and act like an expert.

Keep calm and pretend you do it regularly.

Keep calm and aim for the head.

Keep calm and hide the evidence.

Keep calm and pray for a miracle.

Keep calm and read a book.

Keep calm and remember to be awesome!

Keep calm and fake it.

Keep calm and stay on target.

Keep calm and fake a British accent.

Keep calm because your damn near perfect.

Keep calm because you know you're usually right.

Keep calm and trust your intuition.

Keep calm because everything will be alright.

Keep calm because tomorrow is a new day.

Keep calm and lie through your teeth.

Keep calm because you can.

Keep calm because you're worth it.

Keep calm and chillax.

Keep calm and flash your pearly whites!

Keep calm and don't get your knickers in a knot.

Put on your big girl undies and keep calm!

Keep calm - Oh who are we kidding!

Keep Calm Quotes
Keep Calm Quotes

© 2012 StrictlyQuotes


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    • AustralianNappies profile image


      5 years ago from Australia

      Keep calm so you don't look like a blubbering mess!

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from Australia

      Haha! Thanks Frank :)

    • carrie Lee Night profile image

      Carrie Lee Night 

      5 years ago from Northeast United States

      Keep calm its only life ! :). Fun hub. Thank you for sharing the lighter side of calm :)

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      5 years ago from Shelton

      I like the keep calm and fake a British accent LOL too savvy you are

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from Australia

      Keep calm, and update your status with whatever you feel like :)

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Anything nice i can post on Facebook

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Keep calm you can un-tag it!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I really like Keep Calm - Oh who are we kidding!

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Australia

      It's a pleasure Miranda, thankyou for commenting!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Great hub. I liked "keep calm and admit to nothing" and "keep calm and turn the radio up". Thanks for sharing=)

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Australia

      Thanks for your comments, I always enjoy reading them!

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Hazelton 

      8 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Very funny. I especially liked "keep calm and do it your way".

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Keep calm and regret nothing ;)

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Australia

      I know Bob, a bit girly as usual... But you're always a welcome intruder!

      Thankyou Lady_E ;)

    • Lady_E profile image


      8 years ago from London, UK

      Cool Quotes. :)

    • diogenes profile image


      8 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Pash and dash? Big girl undies?

      I feel like I'm intruding here.


    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Australia

      Cool thanks!

    • profile image

      The Writers Dog 

      8 years ago

      A friend recently send me a picture reading "Keep Calm And Call The Doctor" under the TARDIS.

      Great Hub. Voting up.

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Australia

      Thanks for your comment ElleBee!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Fun and humorous Hub. I think my two favorites are "Keep calm and Google it!" and "Keep calm and fake it!" The former is what allows me to do the latter.


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