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Awesome Funny Sayings and Quotes to Wonder About

Updated on August 29, 2016


Even More Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes and Proverbs to Think About

So I was sitting around trying to think of what to write about today, and someone said got writer’s cramp or “cat got your tongue”. This lead me to start thinking, it seems that most of the hubs I read are about real, or serious topics, so I decided to make a funny one. Here is a list of 35 of my favorite old Proverbs, Adages, Quotes, and Sayings that I have always wondered about. Time for you to ponder… What is the answer?

  1. Just how long is a “Cotton Pickin Minute”?
  2. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
  3. Why will you put Ketchup on French Fries but not your baked potato?
  4. Why is it called “picking up” if you are just talking to a woman?
  5. Does a stitch in time really save nine?
  6. Who ever thought that cats have nine lives? And why nine?
  7. Can you really catch more flies with honey than vinegar?
  8. Who decided that a dog’s life is seven times a human year?
  9. If a man says something and there is no woman to hear, is he still wrong?
  10. Why is a good man hard to find?
  11. How is a penny saved, a penny earned?
  12. Why does a watched pot never boil?
  13. Do all roads really lead to Rome?
  14. How fast does bad news travel?
  15. Is cleanliness next to Godliness?
  16. Why not put all your eggs in one basket?
  17. Does a spoonful of sugar really help the medicine go down?
  18. Why is no news good news?
  19. Who says there is no gain without pain?
  20. Does buttered bread always fall butter-side up?
  21. Will the early bird really catch the worm?
  22. How do too many cooks spoil the broth?
  23. When the cat is away will the mice really play?
  24. Can you judge a book by its cover? What if it is an e-book?
  25. How is a bird in the hand better than two in a bush? Won’t the one in the hand poop on you?
  26. Do fences really make better neighbors?
  27. Does a rumor go in one ear and out many mouths?
  28. Why can’t you look a gift horse in the mouth? Will it spit on you?
  29. God heals, and the physician takes the fee… Can we say Obamacare???
  30. Why let sleeping dogs lie?
  31. Is it really better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission?
  32. What good things come in small packages?
  33. Why is the pen mightier than the sword? (Refer back to question 29)
  34. I though money was grown on trees? Isn't cotton a tree?

Last but not least, just to keep you wondering...

35. Will wonders ever cease?

There are so many more, but this should make you think for a while at least… Just needed a quick hub today. Thanks for reading, check out my other hubs Desert Armor

Great Coffee Table Books


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    • Angela Brummer profile image

      Angela Brummer 5 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

      This is very funny! Thank you!

    • Shawn May Scott profile image

      Shawn May Scott 5 years ago

      I soooo neede a laugh today!!! Thank you these sayings and proverbs are awesome. Voted up, shared, pinned etc.