ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Awesome Funny Sayings and Quotes to Wonder About

Updated on August 29, 2016


Even More Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes and Proverbs to Think About

So I was sitting around trying to think of what to write about today, and someone said got writer’s cramp or “cat got your tongue”. This lead me to start thinking, it seems that most of the hubs I read are about real, or serious topics, so I decided to make a funny one. Here is a list of 35 of my favorite old Proverbs, Adages, Quotes, and Sayings that I have always wondered about. Time for you to ponder… What is the answer?

  1. Just how long is a “Cotton Pickin Minute”?
  2. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
  3. Why will you put Ketchup on French Fries but not your baked potato?
  4. Why is it called “picking up” if you are just talking to a woman?
  5. Does a stitch in time really save nine?
  6. Who ever thought that cats have nine lives? And why nine?
  7. Can you really catch more flies with honey than vinegar?
  8. Who decided that a dog’s life is seven times a human year?
  9. If a man says something and there is no woman to hear, is he still wrong?
  10. Why is a good man hard to find?
  11. How is a penny saved, a penny earned?
  12. Why does a watched pot never boil?
  13. Do all roads really lead to Rome?
  14. How fast does bad news travel?
  15. Is cleanliness next to Godliness?
  16. Why not put all your eggs in one basket?
  17. Does a spoonful of sugar really help the medicine go down?
  18. Why is no news good news?
  19. Who says there is no gain without pain?
  20. Does buttered bread always fall butter-side up?
  21. Will the early bird really catch the worm?
  22. How do too many cooks spoil the broth?
  23. When the cat is away will the mice really play?
  24. Can you judge a book by its cover? What if it is an e-book?
  25. How is a bird in the hand better than two in a bush? Won’t the one in the hand poop on you?
  26. Do fences really make better neighbors?
  27. Does a rumor go in one ear and out many mouths?
  28. Why can’t you look a gift horse in the mouth? Will it spit on you?
  29. God heals, and the physician takes the fee… Can we say Obamacare???
  30. Why let sleeping dogs lie?
  31. Is it really better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission?
  32. What good things come in small packages?
  33. Why is the pen mightier than the sword? (Refer back to question 29)
  34. I though money was grown on trees? Isn't cotton a tree?

Last but not least, just to keep you wondering...

35. Will wonders ever cease?

There are so many more, but this should make you think for a while at least… Just needed a quick hub today. Thanks for reading, check out my other hubs Desert Armor

Great Coffee Table Books


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Angela Brummer profile image

      Angela Brummer 

      6 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

      This is very funny! Thank you!

    • Shawn May Scott profile image

      Shawn May Scott 

      6 years ago

      I soooo neede a laugh today!!! Thank you these sayings and proverbs are awesome. Voted up, shared, pinned etc.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)