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Funny Pun - Number Six

Updated on November 24, 2011

Funny Pun - Number Six

Saga of Dick and Jane

Dick and Jane Hill were newly weds

Who lived in Pennsylvania.

On their honeymoon they chose

To drive through Transylvania.


The road was deserted

With very little light.

The moon was hidden,

Not a soul was in sight.


Soon a heavy fog rolled in

Now Dick could hardly see.

He lost control of the car

And smashed hard into a tree.

For a moment, all goes black,

Dick’s hurt, there’s no denying.

He looks over at Jane.

She looks like she is dying.


He must get help at once

But his cellphone doesn’t work.

He calls himself a dunce,

He didn’t upgrade; what a jerk!


There’s a path beside the road

He hopes it leads to a house.

He carefully lifts Jane.

There is blood on her blouse.

Suddenly he sees a dim light

And yells “Help” with all his might.

A small bent man appears

Like a ghost in the night.


“There’s been a bad accident,

I’m Dick Hill – Jane is my wife.

We need to phone a doctor

To save my dear wife’s life.”


“Come with me to the castle

It is just around the bend.

My master is a doctor.

He will help your wife to mend.”

Dick gently carries Jane

Through the castle portal.

The doctor meets them there,

He looks somewhat immortal.


“The hospital is miles away,

And much too far a distance.

You both are in a bad way,

May I offer you assistance?”


Dick has now completely collapsed.

The doctor prescribes a transfusion.

Igor, his aide, takes them to the lab

To lie on tables in seclusion.

Both patients are now critical

And take their final breath.

The doctor and his aide, Igor,

Are shocked by their sudden death.


Doctor Frankenstein is upset,

He really needs to relax.

So he goes upstairs to his den

To play his tenor sax.


Beautiful music fills the air,

The sounds relieve his sadness.

Music ‘soothes the savage breast’

And protects us all from madness.

Jane and Dick
Jane and Dick

'Clair de Lune' by Debussy

The doctor plays his favorite,

A passage from ‘Clair de Lune.’

It permeates the castle

This haunting, melodic tune.


Meanwhile Igor is still in the lab,

For some unknown reason he lingers.

Wait a minute! Did Dick twitch a toe?

Did Jane start moving her fingers?


Suddenly, Dick opens his eyes

Then so does Jane, his wife.

They are not dead; they did not die.

They both are full of life.


Igor yells at the top of his voice,

“Master, master, we can rejoice.

They are not dead, they survive.

The Hills are alive . . .

. . . with the sound of music!”


A good pun is its own reword.

Julie Andrews in 'The Sound of Music' won Best Picture Academy Award 1965


© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"

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    • profile image

      Hubertsvoice 5 years ago

      Very cute and funny. I enjoyed reading it. The ending was a surprise. Thank you for posting that.

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Great piece of tongue-in-cheek. Have a great Thanksgiving drbj.

      The Frog

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Nice to meet you, Hubert. Thanks for the cute 'n funny. Delighted you were surprised by the ending. Makes my day, y'know. And you are entirely welcome. Take a look at the others and maybe you'll be surprised again!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Loved it and everyone loves the sound of music, don't they? Very cute!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Frog, for the visit and the tongue-in-cheek comment. Must be a little difficult for you keeping your tongue in cheek bein' a frog and all.

      A wonderful Thanksgiving to you, too. Don't overeat like your mommy toad you. Sorry!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Absolutely, Kelly, we all love the sound of music unless we are tone deaf, or even worse, the musician is. Thanks, m'dear, for the cute.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 5 years ago from Florida

      You're a whiz at these "puns"; how in the world do you think of them?? They are great! You have a great sense of humor. Happy Thanksgiving Day! Hey, you could do a great pun on Tom, the Turkey!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      You'd be surprised, mary, what psychotropic medications can do. Just kidding!!! Thank you for appreciating these puns and Happy Thanksgiving backatcha. May your dinner be phenomenalicious.

      Tom the Turkey, you say? Hmmmmmmm!

    • psychicdog.net profile image

      psychicdog.net 5 years ago

      thanks drbj - but alas I did not get this one - why are the hills alive with the sound of music - is that the punch line? regards

    • De Greek profile image

      De Greek 5 years ago from UK

      You got me! :-)

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      I absolutely hated that film. It is the only movie that I actually walked out of halfway through. Mind you I was at that awkward teen age at the time. But your pun was very clever and funny. In future, when I think of "The Sound of Music", I will laugh instead of shuddering.

      Thanks for lifting a forty year old shadow from out of my life.

      Your wit has finally lanced the "Julie Andrews boil".

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 5 years ago from South Africa

      This was such an enjoyable read. Saved by the sax, they were. "The Hills are alive with the sound of music," is one of my most favorite songs - going to play it right now on the piano until I fall off this music cloud you've put me on.

      Shakespeare: "The man that hath no music in himself, nor is not mov'd with concord of sweet sounds, is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils."

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 5 years ago from London, UK

      Thank you for a timely laugh. I could with this.

    • Green Lotus profile image

      Hillary 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      Nothing like a happy ending featuring Julie Andrews! LOL and Happy turkey day too.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 5 years ago from Ohio, USA

      My mouse, it has a handy wheel

      That makes scrolling quick and fun.

      I used this tool to read your hub.

      My reward? A hilarious pun.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      This is great, funny, clever, witty, simply the best. If they would teach Dick and Jane in this fashion in school, the kids would love it. You made my day again..Thank you..

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Ah, pd, let me enlighten you. 'The Sound of Music' was an Oscar award winning film in 1965 which starred Julie Andrews (see video). In the film, Julie sang the title song: "The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music." Ergo, this pun referring to the Hills - Dick and Jane. Happy to see you here, groan or no groan.

    • drbj profile image
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      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Oh, dimi, dearest, I thought I already had!!! Loved your confession though.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      This has to be the epitome of compliments, christopher. I actually changed a shudder to a laugh and lanced a 40-year old boil. No charge, my friend.

      BTW, did you ever see "Mary Poppins" with Julie? I may be able to lance that one, too, if you wish. In the meantime, thank you for 'clever, funny and wit.'

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      What a delight, Martie, to learn that the 'Sound of Music' is one of your favorite songs. I'm certain when you play it on your piano everyone is aboard that music cloud. (Except perhaps christopher!)

      Have always enjoyed that Shakespeare quote you cited. Here is one of my faves:

      "I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." - Elvis Presley

      Can you believe it?

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      So pleased I gave you a timely laugh, Hanna. It was entirely my pleasure. Ring me up any time you need another!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Yes, Hilary, Julie is an expert at providing happy endings on the silver screen. My favorite film of hers was 'Thoroughly Modern Millie.' That was a blast.

      On Thanksgiving may you be a lot, a really lot happier than your turkey. :)

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      So happy to hear from you, nicomp,

      After such a long hiatus.

      For a while there I thought

      You might be on sabbatical status.

      Thank you, thank you,

      I'm so glad that you read

      My 'hilarious pun.'

      Isn't that what you said?

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you for the thank you, Ruby,

      And for the very gracious comments you made.

      I'm sure that Dick and Jane would thank you, too.

      But they are in NY watching Macy's Thanksgiving parade.

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      I loved "Mary Poppins" oddly enough. But I was a few years younger then.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Ah, then there is hope for you after all, christopher. Did you ever see "Thoroughly Modern Millie." I think that was Julie's first film after her success on the Broadway stage with it. Beatrice Lillie was a double hoot!

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      The hubs are alive and full of fun,

      Need a perk up, visit drbj and read a pun

      Thank you for this very much need laugh today.

      BTW Happy Thanksgiving

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Well, it's like I always say, Rosemary, a live hub is so much better than a dead one. Delighted to have provided a much needed laugh with this full-of-fun pun. Any time, dear girl. Happy Thanksgiving backatcha.

    • Feline Prophet profile image

      Feline Prophet 5 years ago from India

      Hahaha...I didn't see that one coming! Your words are like the sound of music, my dear drbj! :)

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Gotcha, Feline. Your words are like music to my ears, m'luv. Thank you for the sweet comment.

    • profile image

      Derdriu 5 years ago

      drbj: What a completely and endearingly unexpected twist to an adventure which begins so quirkily and somewhat frighteningly!

      Thank you for the punning fun, voted up, etc.,

      Derdriu

      P.S. What about Julie Andrews in "Torn Curtain"? That was an unexpected dramatic challenge to her reputation as a singing dancer/dancing singer!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Derdriu, for your visit and most gracious comments. Delighted I provided a quirky, unexpected twist for you with this punny fun.

      Yes, I do remember Julie in that film and she demonstrated a professional dramatic flair. Which I noticed when I wasn't involved in admiring Paul Newman.

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image

      Sharon Smith 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      HA, HA, HA, HA,

      Almonds, cashews, pecans, macadamia, pistachio, walnut, pinenut, peanut, chestnut ~ you get the picture, right?

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Well, at least, Sharyn, you are becoming more circumspect and not as blatant when labeling me a member of the nut family. Thank you. I love it!

    • sligobay profile image

      sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

      If puns are the lowest form of wit, they require the highest form of intelligence to create. Great job with this pun and I just love the sound of music.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      What a nice comment to make, Gerry. I shall treasure it ... and you. Delighted that you also enjoy the 'Sound of Music.' May your New Year be full of it ... music, that is.

    • sligobay profile image

      sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

      Too, too funny. I'm quite certain it will be full of it... if it's like last year. Best wishes for more music than noise in your world.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, for your sweet wishes. Ditto to you, too.

    • snakeslane profile image

      snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

      Thank you drbj, a funny pun and lovely musical interlude too. I love happy endings! s lane

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      You are more than welcome, snakeslane, for the funny pun and the musical interlude. I love happy endings, too. Now thanks to you, I AM happy.

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