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Funny Pun - Number Ten

Updated on January 9, 2012

Funny Pun – Number Ten

Legend of Mel Faymee

Mel Faymee was a pitcher

For the Milwaukee Braves team.

His pitches so powerful,

Baseballs opened at the seam.


Was Mel the best pitcher

Who ever played the game?

Just ask any baseball fan,

They’ll give you Mel Faymee’s name.


He could throw a curve ball

That seemed to quickly fall,

More than one batter

Felt like throwing in the towel.


His fast ball came in over the plate

Going more than 90 miles per hour.

Every batter swung and missed

And then was sent to the shower.


What about his change up ball?

It forced grown-up men to cry,

As it seemed to be heading

Right straight for their eye.


Then the ball quickly dropped

As if propelled by Fate,

It would not hit the batter

But hit the corner of the plate.


Mel played 30 years ago,

A home-grown baseball star.

Fans watched him win his games,

Then bought him drinks at the bar.


Mel loved the drinking part

Scotch and bourbon and rye.

He could always stay sober

With just a gleam in his eye.


There was one problem though.

Mel could not handle beer.

If he drank too much of it,

He jeopardized his career.


The manager learned this fact,

How beer sent Mel on a bender.

So he banned the sale of beer

In the park by any vendor.


I know what you’re thinking,

If Mel was so good at the game,

Then why is he unknown

And not in the Hall of Fame?


As you probably guessed,

Alcohol was his nemesis.

Now I’ll tell you the rest

Repeated without prejudice.


Drinking beer did not affect Mel

Until the World Series.

I promise to relate to you

The truth, not just theories.


The Braves were playing the Yankees,

The series was tied.

Three games each team won.

"Go get ‘em," Mel’s fans cried.


What the fans did not know

Was that the night before,

Mel broke the team’s curfew

And went to the liquor store.


With his thirst for beer,

Two cases he bought.

Mel drank every drop,

“It can’t hurt me,” he thought.


Now it was the final game

And Mel’s pitching was fine.

Until he reached the bottom

Of inning number nine.


The Braves were ahead

By one run with two outs.

The bases were loaded.

But Mel's having doubts.


The two cases of beer

He drank the night before

Have now done their work.

Mel's hung over and more.


He threw eight fast pitches.

Yeah! Each pitch was a ball.

He walked both the batters

And the Braves lost it all.


Television was new back then,

Baseball was the biggest topic.

All the sportscasters had their view

Why Mel Faymee was myopic.


What caused his downfall?

They asked a Yankee caucus.

The answer from the players all:

“It was the BEER that made Mel Faymee walk us!”


(Dedicated to JayeWisdom who provided the inspiration.)

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"




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    • Victoria Lynn profile image

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      That was great! Voted up among others. I love puns, too. I'll have to check out more of yours. Very clever!

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Another great pun has been spun...:)

    • Cagsil profile image

      Cagsil 5 years ago from USA or America

      Very cute writing. I've no clue who this person is/was. Sorry, I was a late comer to baseball. I never followed it until about the late 80's early 90's. However, I did enjoy the hub though. :)

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 5 years ago from Upstate New York

      LOL! I was kinda waiting for "Milwaukee Famous" towards the end because of the guy's name. I said it out loud and ruined the pun for myself. Oh, well, you'll write me another one? Yes? If I ask you really nice and maybe give you chocolate cake?

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Mel could drink the liquor but not the beer?

      That's really funny and a little queer

      Poor Mel probably had to pee pee non stop

      That stuff runs through and it ain't no drip drop

      The moral of this story is plain to see

      If you drink beer you're gonna have to pee pee

    • snakeslane profile image

      snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

      I was so embarrassed I didn't get this but I don't know baseball or American beer, but then I got courage to come back when I saw Paradise 7 comment Groan! Regards, snakeslane

    • snakeslane profile image

      snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

      Laughing at Always comment, too funny.

    • Feline Prophet profile image

      Feline Prophet 5 years ago from India

      Beery funny - once I figured it out! :D

      (drbj, perhaps you should add a footnote for us non-American readers who may not get it - but I guess that would defeat the purpose!)

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 5 years ago from Florida

      I'm not too quick tonight! I had to go back and read this one again: got it!!! Pretty good, I'd say. You are too funny for words, you know that?

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      I was slow to get this one too, a little short on American blood and enthusiasm for baseball. But I did enjoy the read.

    • Daisy Mariposa profile image

      Daisy Mariposa 5 years ago from Orange County (Southern California)

      What a fun pun! You had to know a little bit about American baseball, but what you really had to know was the beer commercial tag line "The beer that made Milwaukee famous." (Now, go back and read the last line of the Hub.)

    • profile image

      femmeflashpoint 5 years ago

      LOL Doc!

      You stumped me. I was even turning my head sideways hoping that'd help ... different point of view and all. (Wink!)

      I stayed puzzled to the point of frustration until, like Snakeslane, I spotted Paradise7's comment.

      Now I've got my neck straight again, and smiling as well.

      I love it!

      femme

    • missolive profile image

      Marisa Hammond Olivares 5 years ago from Texas

      Always a fan of your puns and of course your poems/prose too! Enjoyed!

      voted up!

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

      Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You've made my day!

      The reason the Mel Faymee story/pun is so important to me is because it was told to me years ago by a dear friend who passed away from cancer much too soon over a year ago. I will print this hub to keep and, every time I read it, remember how I laughed till I nearly cried the first time I heard it.

      Again...thank you.

      Jaye

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

      By the way, I got so excited over the story that I forgot to congratulate you for converting it so wonderfully into verse and to thank you for dedicating it to me. Terrific!

      Jaye

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      This may be a cultural thing, but I have read the pun about ten times and totally don't get it. Is it a Baseball thing?

      Somebody enlighten me please. Maybe its too early in the morning, and my brain is not functioning properly yet.

    • Trishita Banerjee profile image

      Trishita Banerjee 5 years ago from Kolkata,India

      Nice.Your comments testifies your creativity.I don't have much to say

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 5 years ago

      Do you have any idea how much I enjoy these? Love them, love them, love them. Up funny and awesome!

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 5 years ago from USA

      Very good rhyme and visual, I'm not into baseball but this made it fun!

    • dotty1 profile image

      dotty1 5 years ago from In my world

      Fab!!! I really enjoyed this and look forward to reading more of your hubs

    • stephhicks68 profile image

      Stephanie Hicks 5 years ago from Bend, Oregon

      Entertaining and fun! I'll have to go back and read funny pun numbers 1-9 now. My boys love baseball, so I will have to share this with them. Cheers, Steph

    • amillar profile image

      amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK

      Ha Ha - Faymeey punny;)

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Yes Drbj, had to think abit on the pun too but then the slogan slid in to home base. Your the best punster this side of Miller Park and I'm inspired to start singing....ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer.....

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 5 years ago from United States

      Unique, clever and fun to read as usual. Great job!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you for being the very first to comment, Victoria Lynn. It's a pleasure to meet you. Especially since you love puns, too. Yes, please do check out the other 9 Funny Puns. And thanks for the up, m'dear.

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

      drbj - 5 Stars and the up for your work.

      The Frog

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Susan, for your laudatory verse. The pleasure has been mine.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      How nice to see you here, Cagsil. No apology is necessary that you did not know this baseball great. Not surprising since I made up the name to make the pun work.

      I find or create a pun and then work backwards to create a plausible story (in verse) for the punchline. In this case, I was reminded by another Hubber of the famous advertising slogan by Schlitz Beer - 'the beer that made Milwaukee famous.' Ergo, there's the rationale for the punny punchline.

      Thank you for your visit and enjoying the hub.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Awwwwww, Paradise. So sorry you ruined the pun for yourself by pronouncing Mel Faymee's name aloud. That'll teach ya.

      Have you read all nine of the previous funny puns? Some day, not saying when, I may write another funny pun. Bribery with chocoolate cake is not necessary my dear, but chocolate chip cookies - that's another story!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Loved your funny poetic rejoinder, Ruby.

      Thank you for your time and creativity.

      It is true that drinking beer was Mel's prime weakness,

      It added to this baseball legend's rhyme uniqueness.

    • CMerritt profile image

      Chris Merritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

      Okay, you just hit a grand slam on this one!!

      THAT was excellent!! I loved it!

      Chris

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Please accept my apology for any embarrassment this pun may have caused you, snakeslane. Look on the bright side. Now you know a little more about the American pastime of playing baseball ... and drinking beer.

      Thank you for visiting and the groan - makes my day, y'know.

      And 'Always' (Ruby) thanks you, too.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Funny you should mention it, Feline, but I did think of adding an explanation for that somewhat famous at the time but now perhaps obscure beer slogan ... but then had second thoughts.

      Thanks for figuring it out on your own - I knew you would - and the 'beery funny.'

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Knowing how 'quick' and clever you really are, Mary, I am not at all surprised that you got it. Cheers, m'dear. I'm too funny for words? What a lovely compliment.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Rosemary, for finally enjoying the read. I know that American baseball may not be everyone's cup of tea.

      Mel thanks you, too.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Daisy, for finding this a 'fun pun.' And thanks also for taking the time to explain the 'pun'chline. You and your comment are much appreciated.

      Now take a look at the other nine funny puns, m'dear, and let me know what you think. :)

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Angelia. I know this pun was a little more difficult to solve, especially if one was not a diehard baseball fan or remembered hearing the Schlitz beer slogan.

      So I apologize for any inconvenience you may have suffered and trust your neck is recovering. Smiling is good. And thanks m'dear, for loving it.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, missolive, it's a pleasure to meet a fan of my funny puns and other assorted prose and verse. Thanks for enjoying this and the Up.

      I think my 'Interviews' with assorted dead celebrities might also appeal to your well-honed sense of humor. :)

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      I'm the one to thank you, Jaye, for mentioning that old 'Schlitz' slogan in the first place. If it is special to you because of specific memories, then you have made my day!

      You are most welcome.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      And thank you for returning to congratulate me for my creative verse, for the 'Terrific!' and dedicating this effort to you. You deserve it.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      There is absolutely nothing wrong with your tremendously creative brain, christopher, early in the morning or any other time.

      This IS a cultural thing since it pertains to American baseball and a slogan popular in the U.S. some time ago created by the Schlitz Brewing Company. I'm referring to: "Schlitz - the Beer that made Milwaukee (Wisconsin) Famous." Okay? Are we still Hubbuddies?

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Trishita, nice to meet you and thank you for the 'nice' and 'creativity.' When you use pleasant adjectives like that, you don't have to say much. :)

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Patti, for love, love, loving my puns. Regarding your hubs, m'dear, the feeling is mutual. Thanks, too for the Up, funny and awesome!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      What a pleasure to see you here again, Rose. Thank you for your gracious comments, especially since you are not 'into' baseball. Delighted that I made it fun for you, m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, dotty1, for finding me and enjoying this pun number ten. Please read the previous nine if you wish and let me know what you think.

      You may enjoy in particular my Interviews with Dead Celebrities, Weird Animals and Psychic Vegetables.

      Oh, and thanks for the Fab!!!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, steph. Thanks for finding this entertaining and fun! Yes, please do read the previous 9 funny puns and let me know what your boys think, too. Cheers, backatacha. :)

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thanks for the 'Ha. Ha,' amillar. - Faymeey punny indeed!

      Just wonderin' - since I believe you do not reside in the U.S., were you able to decipher the punchline easily?

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Alastar, for your very kind words. I knew you would have little difficulty with this punny fun, er ... funny pun.

      Oh, oh, you are singing 'ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer...' Now I'll be humming that all day and it will be YOUR fault!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Pamela, thank you for stopping by and your plethora of gracious adjectives ... as usual. Your visits are always appreciated ... as are you, m'luv.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Wow, Froggy Prince, 5 stars and an Up. You have touched my heart. Is there a Mrs. Frog at home" If so, she is a lucky feminine amphibian.

    • amillar profile image

      amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK

      I know of Milwaukee drbj. One of its exports made a loser out of Rod Stewart and I used to operate a Milwaukee milling machine. Happy Days.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Chris. I hit a grand slam with this one? What an exceptional comment. Thank you for the kind words and loving it.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Very Clever Drbj, didn't see that "Curve" coming...Always a Fun time at your Hub Pages!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Happy Days to you, too, amillar. Delighted to know about your intimate connections with Milwaukee. :)

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Always a pleasure to have you visit b.Malin. Happy I could throw you a curve ball this time. Thanks for the kind comments.

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      I get it now, and I am laughing as well. For my punishment, I shall make a trip to the pub, and then drink to your health and your wit. Thanks for the explanation.

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 5 years ago from New York City

      Cool hub here, I like the twist on the ball playing and reality people don't see lol, even though I'm not into baseball any it was quite amusing to say the least, but as for the writings is concerned this hub is solid and made for a fun read overall.

      Voted up thanks for sharing your creative writing talents with us all.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image

      Dexter Yarbrough 5 years ago from United States

      I really do wish I could write like you, Dr. BJ! Wow, this was simply great. Baseball is my favorite sport so I was really into it. Voted up, up and away!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Drbj - you are so good - I had to read the commentary because I knew somebody along the way would ask! Lol. Very punny:)

      That photo is crazy!

    • acaetnna profile image

      acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

      Oh awesome and so much fun. I shall now go back and read the rest.

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      very entertaining hub, my friend

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you for laughing, christopher, and that awesome toast. Have one on me at the pub, my friend.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      What a pleasure to meet you, CloudExplorer. You are evidently a person of wit and perception since you found this hub to be 'cool ... solid ... a fun read.'

      Thanks for the up and your sublime comments.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Dex, for your awesome comments. You are an excellent writer, too, my friend. I am particularly fond of your morning 'interviews' with the Obamas.

      Delighted you were really 'into' this and thanks for the up.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      So you read the commentary, Kelly? That makes TWO of us! Delighted that it may have answered any questions you had. Thanks for the 'very punny' and enjoying the 'crazy' photo. Me, too.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, acaetnna - Gratified that you found this awesome and fun. Yes, by all means, go back and read the rest. Put them to the test. And do let me know what you think, m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hey, PDXKaraokeGub - nice to meet you. Any reader who finds my hub 'entertaining' is a friend of mine, indeed. Thank you for finding it.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 5 years ago from Chicago

      And yet more awesome writing from you. You have got the gift, in spades. I always enjoy your wit.

      It is not related to your story so much but at one juncture it made me think of when Walter Johnson first came up to the big leagues with his incredible, for the time, fastball. In one big game, a batter was overhead complaining about a strike called. He said, "It sounded high to me ump!" :D

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image

      Sharon Smith 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Thank you Dr. BJ - your funny puns are really great. I have a present for you - sent with much love and respect - enjoy - http://www.kingnut.com/

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, James, for your exceptional comments. I love when someone indicates I am a 'wit,' as long as they don't preface the word with 'half.'

      Now that's what I call a genuine fast ball - the batter only heard it!

      Although football is my favorite spectator sport, I do admire some of baseball's characters, in particular, the catcher, Yogi Berra. I often quote his quotable remarks.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Sharon, for liking my funny puns and for the present. Much obliged, my dear. We nuts - just kidding, of course - have to stick together.

    • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

      Justin W Price 5 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

      you're welcome, DRBj

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 5 years ago from South Africa

      I don't know Mel from Adam

      but I know beer

      and I know BEER

      makes Mels

      and Adams

      unpredictable.

      Although I did not catch this one, I read it all the way smiling. Just because you wrote it, drbj. Shows you - doesn't matter what you write, you always delight me.

      Take care and listen to your doctor!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Smiling just because I wrote it, Martie! What a lovely compliment. Thank you. Not surprising that you didn't catch it (an apt expression of yours since this was a baseball pun). But the punchline was based on a very old marketing slogan of Schlitz beer - the beer that made Milwaukee (a city in Wisconsin) famous. Ergo, drinking all that beer made Mel Faymee walk us.

      I do take care but the less I see of doctors, the better I feel!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Another great and very funny Pun! I had to send this to my brother who is a huge fan of baseball and almost as witty as you. He loved it so much...he called his 4 grown sons and shared your poem with each one. I told him you have many more available. Now, my brother wants them all! See what you've started? You bring happiness to people, my friend and that makes you pure gold in my book. UP and more!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Audrey. Delighted that your brother who is a huge baseball fan loved this punny poem and shared it with his 4 grown sons. What a lucky man! Yes, by all means, have him read the previous nine Funny Puns, and Number Eleven just published.

      You are a sweetie-pie and bing happiness to me with your 'golden' comments. Thank you, too, for the Up, my favorite direction!

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Haze 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Very funny. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. I'm still smiling. Up and funny.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, KKGals, for enjoying this from beginning to end, and for the Up and funny. Still smiling, eh? That's a good sign.

    • barbergirl28 profile image

      Stacy Harris 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

      Ha ha - Out of all the puns I could have picked I picked the one with beer. Ironic since you were just asking about beer since you had no wine on hand! Cute job! Still laughing!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      How strange, Stacy, that you picked this pun about beer to read and comment on after my 'beer' comment on your enchanting wine hub. Then again maybe it's not so strange, simply Karma. Whatever, thanks for the sweet comments and the laughing.

    • barbergirl28 profile image

      Stacy Harris 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

      I really think maybe it was fate and karma on a date... speaking of beer...... :)

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Speaking of beer, my dear (can't let that opening go to waste), you might like to read my: "Tribute to Beer - An Amazing Beverage."

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