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Funny Pun about Leo the Lion

Updated on April 14, 2014
Leo the Lion
Leo the Lion | Source

Leo the Lion

When Leo was young

Africa was his home.

He was king of the jungle

Wherever he did roam.


“Who’s the king of the jungle?”

To each animal he would call.

‘You are, oh mighty lion,

You’re the strongest of them all.’


Whether cheetah or monkey

Hippopotamus or donkey,

Every animal agreed

Leo was the king indeed.

One day Leo wandered afar.

He asked a huge bull elephant.

“Who’s the king of the jungle?”

The beast thought him irrelevant.


Leo persisted,

“Who is the king?”

The elephant resisted

And said nothing.


After the third query

The elephant looked peeved

Threw Leo against a tree

Stomped him and turned to leave.


Bruised and battered

Our hero arose

Flashed his middle finger

And yelled this prose,

"You didn’t have to stomp me so,

'cause you didn’t know the answer, bro."

After this episode

Leo stopped his rap,

His confidence eroded,

He fell into a trap.


Poachers captured him

To a circus he was sold.

There he would stay

Until he grew too old.


He now lived in a cage,

He learned to growl on cue

And roar with pretended rage

At me and you and you.


He longed for the freedom

That he had before

Though he enjoyed the shrieks

When he began to roar.


But time marched on,

He had problems with his teeth

Soon he had lost all those above

And then the rest beneath.

A toothless lion

Is not a celebrity

The circus found a buyer

A doctor of longevity.


He took pity on Leo

And brought him home as a pet.

Although Leo looked ferocious

Not to worry, not to sweat.


There was never any danger

Leo lay in front of the door.

He might growl at a stranger.

But he was Jungle King no more.


He’d sunbathe at the doorsill

Like a large shaggy doormat.

Stepping over him was an ordeal,

The doctor followed that format.

This scientist studied dolphins

He soon learned they thrived

And led long healthy lives

When they ate birds alive.


He believed with the right diet

No salt, no fats, no carbs ever

These porpoises he carefully fed

Would live and be well f o r e v e r.


Their latest diet was seagulls,

This food appeared to be working

But the press leaked the story

Soon danger was lurking.


One morning as Lionel was dozing

He opened up one eye.

Some strange men were there

Wearing badges spelled F. B. I.

The doctor answered the door,

With seagulls still in his hands.

“Who are you looking for?”

These men could ruin his plans.

By badges he wasn’t impressed.


“You,” said the Agent.

You are under arrest,”

“What is the charge?

“Mr. Agent-at-Large?”


The answer: “Transporting gulls over a staid lion for immortal porpoises.”

“The goodness of the true pun is in the direct ratio of its intolerability.” – Edgar Allan Poe

To me, there is no doubt . . . Edgar knew what he was talking about.

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2011. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So" @Amazon.com

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    • profile image

      lavender3957 5 years ago

      This is so awesome, funny and witty, I loved this. I use to read puns when I was a kid and forgot just how funny they are. Thanks for sharing.

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 5 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      This was so much fun to read. Thanks for making my day a little brighter.

    • dennisfelix profile image

      dennisfelix 5 years ago from nottingham

      This is like classic humour, I like it a lot. Has to be shared!!

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 5 years ago from Upstate New York

      Well, you got to the punch line in the end. I liked this one because I didn't expect it at all!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 5 years ago from California

      Fun read!

    • profile image

      Derdriu 5 years ago

      drbj: What a clever nail-biter of a poem with a completely unexpected ending in which justice triumphs for Lionel!

      Thank you, voted up, etc.,

      Derdriu

      P.S. EAP knew what he was talking about.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I didn't get my mail from Hubpages and i was feeling low, having to go into my account and find the Hubbers i follow, but this made me smile...No not smile..LOL.. I love Leo. This is so cute and witty. Your rhyming is so much fun to read..Thank you...

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      Haha This is so funny and witty, loved the pun

      And this had me in fits "You didn’t have to stomp me so, 'cause you didn’t know the answer, bro."

      Did you know a circus lion won't eat clowns because they taste funny

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      Thanks for another funny poem, with a very clever pun.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Welcome to my world, lavender. "Awesome, funny and witty?" You do know the right things to say. Delighted I was able to remind you how funny puns can be. Thanks for being the first to comment. Now take a look at Funny Pun - Number One.

    • drbj profile image
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      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Susan, for finding this fun to read. 'Making your day a little brighter' makes my day brighter, too. Honest.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, dennisfelix - welcome. Thanks for liking this a lot and do share, by all means. Like classic humor? You betcha!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Happy you were able to make it to the punchline at the end - that you didn't expect. And delighted, Paradise, that you liked this. The basis of most humor, I have discovered, is the unexpected. Would you agree?

    • drbj profile image
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      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Nice to meet you, Audrey. Thanks for finding this a fun read. Succinct but stimulating you are.

    • drbj profile image
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      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Derdriu. How wonderful that I can count on you to provide imaginative and gracious comments. What a great summary your description makes ... 'a clever nail-biter of a poem with a completely unexpected ending in which justice triumphs ... ' Thank you for the up ad the etc., too.

      I agree, Edgar was prescient.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Ruby. Yes, HP seems to be having a few glitches these days - omitting notifications of emails and repeating comments up to 3 times. But I have faith they will get their act together.

      I'm gratified, nay, delighted I made you smile and laugh. Thank you for the 'cute, witty and fun to read.' So are you m'luv, so are you. Leo sends his best.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Rosemary, Anyone who goes 'ha, ha" at my hubs is a Hubbuddy of mine. Thanks for loving this pun and the 'funny and witty.'

      And you picked up on the ... 'didn't know the answer, bro' ... joke, too. You are perceptive, m'dear. Love your 'lion won't eat clowns' line - you know I'll find a way to use it. :)

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, christopher. Thanks for reading my 'funny poem with a very clever pun.' I knew you would appreciate puns, especially the groaningest ones.

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      This is a horrible thing you are doing. Making me read your punny poems. I am enjoying them immensely.

    • CMHypno profile image

      CMHypno 5 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

      You crack me up drbj! So funny! At last a mind as strange as my own.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Oh, Becky, you are so punny, er, funny. Now that I have you under my spell, you will read the rest of my 132 hubs - some are groans, some are moans, some about thrones, one about phones, but never any clones. Thanks for the immense enjoyment. No charge, m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Ah, a soul mate. At last! Strange, eh? I prefer to think of it as a wild imagination. At least that's what I tell those people at the institution.

      Thank you, my pet, love your new avatar.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 5 years ago from South Africa

      This is truly so cute, I will buy it. You are so unique drbj, I wish I could see you walking and talking with my own eyes. I see you as an elephant, thinking: "Who the heck are you, dear lion, to call yourself the king of the jungle? Come closer let me put a pebble in your webble..."

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Delighted you think this is cute, Martie. Thanks for the 'unique' comment. With regard to your comparison of me to a pachyderm, I'll have to ponder that one. Hope you were referring only to the exhibition of power and not appearance.

      Although I am older than soil, I don't have that many wrinkles . . . yet! Love your 'pebble in your webble' remark. Now how can I use that?

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Oh, brother! Are you sure that was legal?

      Up and punny!

    • Feline Prophet profile image

      Feline Prophet 5 years ago from India

      Hahaha...however do you think up these gems? :)

    • habee profile image

      Holle Abee 5 years ago from Georgia

      Oh, my friend, you do have a warped mind...just like me! lol. Very clever! voted up.

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 5 years ago from London, UK

      A brilliantly written poem. I don't how you do it? You are super.

    • John MacNab profile image

      John MacNab 5 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

      Edgar Allan knew what he was talking about drbj. Nice one with a groan at the end.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Was it legal, Will? I dunno but it was, in your words, punny. Thanks for the visit and the up, pardner.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      How do I think up these 'gems,' Feline? Easy! I just ponder a bit and say to myself, now how would Feline write about this and what would she say :)

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      We with the warped minds have to stick together, Holle. There is power in numbers. We just have to keep warping away. Thanks for the clever and the up, m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      I don't know how I do it either, Hanna. Must be my warped mind, as Holle (habee) calls it. Thanks for the brilliantly written and the super. Funny, I was just going to say the same about you.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, John. I always feel vindicated for these really bad puns when I know there is a groan at the end. Edgar knew that, too.

    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 5 years ago from malang-indonesia

      I never doubted your talent in creating wonderful hub, start from interview, history, even for poem. This was one of the perfect poem you have. I give my vote to you and I'll press all buttons here, (useful, funny, awesome, beautiful, interesting). Have a good day. Cheers.....

      Blessing and hugs, Prasetio

    • sheila b. profile image

      sheila b. 5 years ago

      Boston FBI, huh?

    • snakeslane profile image

      snakeslane 5 years ago from Canada

      Ok drbj I finally got your drift, but you left me hanging so long I almost fell off the cliff! snakeslane

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      A perfect poem, pras? You are much too kind, my friend. Thank you for pressing all those buttons. Makes my day, you know. Blessings and hugs to you, too, on the other side of the world.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Sheila - why did you think it was the Boston F.B.I.? I'm thinking Florida or California where porpoises are more plentiful. And there's also more sunshine for Leo to enjoy.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Yes, snakeslane, I did draw this one out for awhile. Hope you weren't too scared hanging off the cliff 'til I gave you my drift. Does add to the suspense, doncha think?

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Drbj - I'm so glad I saw you published Pun Number 3 - I knew I missed number two! So glad I hunted it down....LOL. Like how he used the middle finger before his prose! Hahaha!

      Btw - I hope your eye is getting better!

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Doggone it drbj! Somebody got the punny first! Oh well, punny is funny but not as punny as this funny!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Kelly, Delighted you found number two, if you know what I mean. Clever girl, you caught the middle finger allusion.

      Thanks for inquiring about my eye - it is getting all better.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      You may not have been the first, Alastar, with the 'punny,' but your comment wins the prize. Thank you, my friend.

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Apolo for the dumb pun drbj, its tough being in the judicial branch these days.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      No 'apolo' necessary, Alastar, it's tough being on any branch these days.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Just make sure you put the patch on the right eye and for heavens sakes don't read too much - oh yeah...I'll stop here! Lol

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      Oh No...You are Truly the Best Drbj...and so Clever...This was Fun, fun, Fun!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hey, Kelly, how did you know it was the RIGHT eye?

    • RedElf profile image

      RedElf 5 years ago from Canada

      oooooooooooooooooooooooooh - need I say more? My nephew worships you - I find however, that, I have expanded my masochism quota for the day and must refrain from further puns!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Fun, fun, fun, b.? Then my work is practically done, done, done. After I write ten funny punny puns in all. Or go completely bonkers, whichever comes first. And thanks for the clever, dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      I got the message, Elle, and I am especially fond of your insightful nephew who appreciates high class literature. That boy will go far. Your masochism quota is now full? Then it's time to start my sadistic sagas. Heh, heh.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 5 years ago

      .....well I take my epi hat off to you as one of the funniest/and most witty writers ever here at the Hub - just your comments alone to me would guarantee that legendary status - hope all is well with you - winter is on my doorstep up here by lake erie time 5:45pm ontario canada

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Colin, winter is on my doorstep, too. The latest weather report indicates a cold front approaching by the middle of the week. Daytime temps in the 70s and at night, the 60s. Brrrrrrrrr. It's all relative, isn't it?

      Thank you for applying that legendary status to me - funniest and wittiest, eh? I could not hope for more! Intend to keep on commenting on your fabulously inventive epigram hubs for as long as you will permit me. :)

    • Springboard profile image

      Springboard 5 years ago from Wisconsin

      Another masterpiece if I may say so. I am definitely going to enjoy reading on.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      You may most definitely say so, Jim. I'm tired of being the only one who says that. Please do read on - only 5 more horrendous puns to go. So far.

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 5 years ago from UK

      Truly awesome!Love this series!

    • lex123 profile image

      lex123 5 years ago

      Your witty and brilliant poem captured so many minds!! drbj, your ability in writing this type of pun is amazing!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Docmo, for the 'truly awesome' and 'loving this series.' I will earnestly endeavor to maintain this superior level of punditry. Promise.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      'Witty and brilliant,' lex? You may be my newest BFF. Delighted to amaze you with this series of puns. You might like to peruse one of my famous Interviews with Dead People as well. Start with Genghis Khan - he was the first. Let me know what you think and thank you for the visit.

    • sligobay profile image

      sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

      So many gulls crossing staid boredness

      Lion around with ageless porpoise

      Agents obsessed with homeland security

      Arresting a vet for moral impurity.

      sligobay

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Now that was good, Gerry. That was really good. So good I probably will take credit for it . . . some day. Thanks for leaving a bit of your wit at this sit, I mean site.

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