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Funny Puns about Losing Jobs

Updated on November 16, 2013

Funny Puns about Losing Jobs

Let me explain, dear reader, before you get your panties in a bunch. I know there is absolutely nothing funny about losing a job. It is often a wrenching, painful experience.

But because it IS so unfunny, I’m here to cheer you up with a recital of 15 very funny, very short puns about all the wonderful jobs I lost:

I once worked in an orange juice factory.

It was the largest in the land.

Then only three months later,

I got my pink slip and was canned.

No, it was not cruel fate,

‘Twas because I could not concentrate.


Then I worked for a short time

In the woods as a lumberjack,

But I couldn’t clear the tracts,

So the boss gave me the axe.


I tried to be a tailor,

But I wasn't suited for it.

Ah well, you should know,

The job was only sew-sew.

I don't know what's going on and I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did!
I don't know what's going on and I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did!

I tried to work in a deli

But the job got me flustered.

No matter how I sliced it,

I could not cut the mustard.


I thought about becoming a witch,

So I tried that for a spell.

Managed to summon the devil

But was fired for raising hell.


I managed to get a very good job

After several weeks of training.

Working for a pool maintenance company,

But I found the work was just too draining.


For a short time, I worked for a butcher,

And my duties I would never shirk.

Had to quit when I backed him into his grinder,

And he got a little behind in his work.


My favorite job was flight attendant,

Wheeling drink carts from front to back.

But I lost that job when I spied a friend,

And loudly yelled, Hi, Jack, Hi, Jack!


I once worked in Australia and learned

To throw a boomerang eventually.

Can’t remember exactly how that works

But don’t worry, it will come back to me.


"We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him." - Napoleon Bonaparte
"We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him." - Napoleon Bonaparte

Worked for an eye doctor in Alaska,

But patients had trouble with their eyes.

Turns out he was an optical Aleutian,

Just another quack in disguise.


I would have liked to be a singer

And I often broke into song.

Because I could not find the key,

I would always get the gong.


I worked in a towel company,

But then the owner sold it.

So I worked for the new buyer

Until the towel company folded.


Weather forecast for tonight: dark!
Weather forecast for tonight: dark!

I always wanted to be a teacher

With morals and ethical scruples.

But because I was born cross-eyed,

I could not control my pupils.


After many, many, many years

I have almost reached my limit.

Now I work as a historian,

Even though there’s no future in it.


I never joined a dangerous cult,

Those folks can cost you your wealth.

I always practiced safe sects,

So much better for my health.


Are you wondering, did I really have all those jobs? Of course I did. Would I lie to you?

Note: If you are speculating about my personal life, too . . .

. . . I had a boyfriend with a wooden leg,

Who tried to take me down a peg.

So I broke it off.


"All you need in the world is love and laughter. That's all anybody needs. To have love in one hand and laughter in the other." – August Wilson

"Seven days without laughter makes one weak." – Mort Walker

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2013. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So." Learn to write a dynamic resume and cover letter, network effectively, interview confidently, and negotiate salary.

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    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 4 years ago from Texas

      So funny! I love the flight attendant pun. Hahaha . . . so sounds like something I would do! I once told a bank attendant that I'd retaliate....Let's just say I found out what that word means to a Texan. hehe.

      Voting up, funny, awesome, and sharing.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      Oh, drbj, you have such amazing wit! Thanks for these clever and hilarious puns, and I am glad I am old enough to remember the "gong" as when I make a joke about "being gonged" to younger people, they look at me with confusion. ha ha ha

      Yes, dear, all we need is love and laughter and this world becomes a much kinder place to live.

      Voted up +++

      Have a lovely weekend, full of continued laughter, Faith Reaper

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I'll have you know I do not wear panties, so it was impossible for me to get them in a bunch. :) You are so funny. These are great and a wonderful way to end my work week. Thanks for the laughter my friend; the gift that keeps on giving.

      Have a great weekend!

      bill

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      My daughter tells me puns constantly,

      she loves to hear me groan.

      Now my friends are telling them to me,

      just to hear me moan.

    • Bill Yovino profile image

      Bill Yovino 4 years ago

      I had a job in computer espionage with the NSA, but I had to leave because just I couldn't hack it.

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 4 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      Oh these are good. You are way too funny. Or corny. I can't decide. An Orange Juice Factory? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      Of course these are so funny and fun, DrBJ. You're my favorite master at this! Each one is a gem! Here's my fav:

      I never joined a dangerous cult,

      Those folks can cost you your wealth.

      I always practiced safe sects,

      So much better for my health.

      Er - Shan - I don't know what a Texan means by 'retaliate'; - this native Texan never heard it even mentioned. Care to share?

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 4 years ago from Texas

      Let's just say . . .you know how Texans love their guns! ;) You should've seen the look of alarm on their faces! Hahaha....it took me a second to even realize what I'd implied. You'd have to know the entire story to understand just how very frustrated I was at that point. It was a business account and the same check week after week, but not allowing me access to it so that I could pay employees. It became a tiresome circle and I'd had enough. Of course, I was thinking more along the lines of retaliation by moving my business elsewhere or with a lawyer. :-p

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 4 years ago from Florida

      These puns are all so funny, but my favorite was the flight attendant. I can't rhyme like you but: did you hear about the blonde secretary who got fired for putting "white out" on her computer screen to correct her mistakes????

      You're the best!

      Voted UP and shared.

    • rebeccamealey profile image

      Rebecca Mealey 4 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      Wow, these are SOOO creative. The only job I ever got canned from was a telemarketing job, and I hated it anyway. I will have to think up a limerick for that now!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

      Haha! brilliant! here's one for you, I used to work in a fireworks factory, but one day when we were testing the fireworks the boss said:

      'Retire to a safe place' So I did, I went to live in Mexico! lol!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Only drbj could make losing a job so darn funny!!! :)

    • stephanieb27 profile image

      stephanieb27 4 years ago from United States

      These are great!! Certain to give people a good laugh when they're dealing with job loss! :)

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 4 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I am still LOL. You are the master of untruthful events. I must admit, there's been times when i couldn.t open a can of mustard, i guess one might say that i couldn't cut the mustard, but really it's this darn carpal tunnel...Hee..I love all that you do and say. You bring joy my way....

    • dghbrh profile image

      deergha 4 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

      A hub so much full of laughter in the most odd way to rejoice the fact of losing a job.....wonderfully done....LOL.....thanks for sharing these...shared and votes ++++++++++++++

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      With people going back to work, your timing is perfect! not to mention these are hilarious. thank you

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 4 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Very funny stuff! My 2 favorites are the butcher and the flight attendant. I love to laugh and you continue to supply me with plenty of it. You have a marvelous gift. Think I'll share this, pin, tweet and spread the laughter. Thank you so much, my friend!

    • carolina muscle profile image

      carolina muscle 4 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      funny stuff as always, drbj !!!

    • Scribenet profile image

      Scribenet 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Good for a morning giggle...loved the pictures as well, especially the meerkats...I want it for a screensaver! LOL

    • Gail Meyers profile image

      Gail Meyers 4 years ago from United States

      How cute and clever! Thanks for the chuckles.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      So you remember the Gong Show, Faith? Some of those contestants were really strange. Don't worry your pretty head for a moment about younger folks who look at you with confusion when you mention 'being gonged.' They do that to me all the time and I don't have to say a word. Heh, heh.

      Delighted you enjoyed these hilarious puns - it was entirely my pleasure, m'luv. Thanks for the Up vote. You will enjoy the weekend with much love and laughter. I have spoken!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      You don't wear panties, Bill? Dang, there goes the Depends endorsement.

      Happy you found these funny puns a great way to end your work week. Providing you with laughter is entirely my pleasure! May your weekend be the greatest.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      It's true, Becky, we who tell puns love to hear folks moan and groan,

      Whether we tell them in person, in writing, or on the phone.

      Thanks for the poem and give your clever daughter my regards.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Bill, for your witty pun about computer hacking. I am taking note of it in case I ever write an additional short funny pun hub. Giving you full credit of course.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      I'm very happy, Peg, to accept either funny or corny. Either appellation generally means laughter. Right?

      You tickled me with your orange reference. So I shall retaliate with a banana riddle. What is the best way to make a banana split?

      Cut it in half!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Nellieanna, for the lovely compliment, oh Hubpages Poetess Supreme. So happy you enjoyed these puns - especially the safe sects one.

      Where retaliation is concerned, I think Shan may have been referring to Texans and firearms.

      Which gives me an opening for this pun - just for you: A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

      OK, OK, I'll go quietly.

    • akirchner profile image

      Audrey Kirchner 4 years ago from Central Oregon

      Gosh that top picture looks a lot like transcription jobs these days when you work for a service - except we couldn't do it in a boat (probably). So glad that's behind me~ What can I say, BJ? Cracks me up - my favs? The cross-eyed teacher, the eye doctor, the towel factory and the historian. And your ex-boyfriend and "breaking it off." Thanks for the Saturday giggles.

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 4 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      As my father might say, that's a pun son. Your puns a great.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      drbj!!!

      Wow... nobody can do a pun like you and that's not like telling the parent of an ugly child that their kid is cute... you really rock the puns! Oh my goodness, my stomach hurts from laughing and that doesn't happen very often :D Each time I wanted to keep one in mind to reference as my favorite... I'd lose it to the next funny pun!

      I've hit every button on this page!!! Soooo funny!

      Cat

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This hub is very funny, clever and creative, drbj! I love your imagination! Thank you for such amusing puns and for the great entertainment.

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 4 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      That's your best ever. Some great puns. I'm going to keep coming back to this hub every time I need cheering up. Just brilliant.

    • livingsta profile image

      livingsta 4 years ago from United Kingdom

      Gosh, so creative and so funny. I enjoyed reading this. Very imaginative and funny puns...

      Thank you for sharing this with us. Voted up and sharing!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 4 years ago

      You are amazing. I have to vote this up, funny and awesome!

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      Oh, BJ - Please don't go quietly!! hehe. That's a really good one! (giggle) - I must pass it along!

      Yes, - the reference is to firearms, but I'm not sure it's in a familiar, commonly used phrase, though surely the attitude expressed could be attributed to many Texans. I saw on the news this morning that Rick Perry is up in Connecticut soliciting the gunmakers to move their business to Texas, since their state is making tougher guns laws after the horrible Sandy Hook shootings. I love my home state but it gives me no pride or pleasure that its reputation is seemingly becoming almost rabidly 'for' guns. Shudder. What has happened to common sense? Sigh.

      Shan, as you say - it was a "whole story" about 'Texan retaliation' and one would have to have been there. hehe. ;-)

    • Crystal Tatum profile image

      Crystal Tatum 4 years ago from Georgia

      This is excellent. Thanks for making me smile! Voting up, funny, awesome, sharing.

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 4 years ago from Minnesota

      You are so clever and creative. I had to hit every button on this as it made me laugh and smile. Great photo's too.

    • tirelesstraveler profile image

      Judy Specht 4 years ago from California

      Mind stimulating shoot, funny to boot, delightful reading .

    • Twilight Lawns profile image

      Twilight Lawns 4 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      I read this while I was sitting in the car on Streatham Common, and the people in the next car couldn't work out why I was laughing out loud and chatting to myself and saying, "This is excellent."

      Well done drbj. You always entertain me.

      marked up, of course... and funny.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 4 years ago from Texas

      No, Nellieanna, I'm sure that it is a commonly used phrase either, but rather an implied one! And I apparently was the only one oblivious to that fact as I rather vehemently promised retaliation - until I saw the looks on the faces of those behind the counter. Hahaha It was a bit like I'd imagine people would look if someone on a plane yelled "Hi, Jack!"

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      I love this! I am still chuckling over the teacher pun. I will have to share this hub with others so that they can have a good laugh.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Thank you, drjb, for the chuckles and grins, the adorable puns and those cute as can be photos.

      My fav:

      I once worked in Australia and learned

      To throw a boomerang eventually.

      Can’t remember exactly how that works

      But don’t worry, it will come back to me.

      Scrumptiously funny, and voted that way. :-)

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 4 years ago from South Africa

      Oh, this is totally fabulous. I have a job for you, Drbj, as my PC - Private Comedian. I know you will accept, So I'm sending my pilot to fetch you. Don't forget your coat - it is winter down here.....

      Voted up, hilarious, Brilliant and the best laugh oh the day :)

    • profile image

      JRocco 4 years ago

      Love your Puns Dr. BJ. Great job! A++++++++++++++++++++++

      for you. Voted up and up. Thank you.

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Haze 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

      You always make me laugh. This hub came at just the right time for me. The school system I work for is cutting way back on personnel. I'm waiting to find out if I still have a job. Thanks so much for your sense of humor. It is truly awesome.

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 4 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      These are very clever puns! Thanks for making me laugh!

      Voted up and sharing.

    • las81071 profile image

      las81071 4 years ago

      I liked this a lot. Very cute and I really needed a laugh today so perfect timing. Thanks. Will Vote up for sure

    • rose-the planner profile image

      rose-the planner 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario-Canada

      This was hilarious, brilliant and clever! I totally enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing. (Voted Up) -Rose

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Shanmarie - nice to meet you. The flight attendant pun is one of my favorites, too - so relevant to today's world. Heh, heh. Thanks for the gracious comments, the Up and the sharing.

      Be careful now, with that retaliate word - could be dangerous to your health. ;)

      From your explanation to Nellieanna, I can understand your frustration with that bank. Did you, BTW, move your account? Just wonderin'.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon 4 years ago from Texas

      Nice to meet you, too. :)

      LOL - Yes! We actually ended up having to go to a lawyer and call the bank from the lawyer's office to have them close our account and release the funds in it to me. See, the last straw was when they'd frozen the account without warning me first. So, silly ol' me writes checks unaware of this minor detail and they of course all bounced and the money was just sitting there in the account. The bank tellers and even the manager kept saying they didn't understand why the same check was being held week after week for two weeks until it cleared before we could use it. I mean, after a month or so of this, it was already proven the check was from a reliable source. They gave me overdraft protection, which I didn't ask for but came in handy while still needing to pay employees despite unavailable funds. Even the corporate people tried to help by releasing the funds a couple of times when I'd call the corporate office. Yet, one of the banks official officers decided it was to be so and so it was. She informed me she was above anyone else even at corporate level. The freezing of the account was because she went to the financial risk management officer and declared me a financial risk due to all the NSF charges from the overdrafts they forced me to do! It was a big mess. In the end, we got nothing out of it. LOL. But a new bank.

      Now that I just took up a ton of you comment space to explain why I was ready for retaliation. . . hahaha

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 4 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      @ Shanmarie, that's an awfully big mess! It must have been irritating to be called a "financial risk" because of something that was the bank's fault. I'm glad you switched banks, but what a hassle. I think I would have threatened "retaliation", too, although not the kind that evidently they thought you meant. Haha.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      Love the quote...love and laughter make the world go round for sure. I needed a chuckle this evening....knew I would find it here and as it happened a whole lot of them awaited me.

      Angels are on the way to you this evening. ps :)

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      I knew somehow, mary, that you would favor the flight attendant pun, too. Love your joke about the secretary who put white-out on her computer screen to correct her mistakes. Doesn't everyone?

      You're the best, too, m'luv. Thanks for the UP and sharing.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Rebecca. You are SOOO perceptive, m'dear. I can understand why a telemarketing job might have been less than your favorite profession. You have too much talent for that, y'know. If you think of a limerick for that depressing experience, please let me know.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      That was great, Nell, you know I'll try to use it one day. " I used to work in a fireworks factory, but one day when we were testing the fireworks the boss said: 'Retire to a safe place' So I did, I went to live in Mexico!" You won an enchilada with that one, m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      You may be absolutely correct with your comment, Linda: "Only drbj could make losing a job so darn funny!" Thank you, m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Stephanie. You got the message, girlfriend, folks dealing with job loss do need a bunch of good laughs!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Love that title, Ruby - 'master (or mistress) of untruthful events.' Sorry to hear about your darn carpal tunnel problem - but fervently hope it is the worst that ever happens to you.

      Thank you for that inspiring comment - that you love all I do and say. Bringing joy your way makes my day, m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      What a pleasure to meet you, dghbrh, sorry you lost your vowels. Thank you for your most gracious comments and the sharing and ALL those plus votes. You ARE special!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Martin, thanks for the 'hilarious' accolade regarding my funny puns. I can easily say the same for you regarding your limericks. You are the Limerick Professor. Trust me. And you're welcome!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Audrey. Do hope all is well in your world. Thanks for enjoying my job loss puns - the butcher and the flight attendant are among my favorites, too. As a fellow believer in the power of humor and laughter, it's always my pleasure to hear from you. Thanks for sharing, pinning, tweeting and spreading ... the laughter, that is. Be well.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Chris - where have you been? Miss your magnificent musings, my man. Thanks for stopping by with your kind comment.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      So happy I could provide your morning giggle, Scribenet. What a great idea you mentioned - using the meerkat photo as a screensaver. Those lil guys are fun to watch. I was addicted to that TV documentary on meerkats that was popular not long ago.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      So nice to meet you, Gail Meyers. 'Cute and clever' are commendable comments. Thank you. And you are most welcome for the chuckles.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Wow, Audrey, do transcriptionists labor under conditions like those in that first photo? If so, you do need union representation. Happy that is behind you, m'dear. The favorite puns you chose are among my favorites, too. Just goes to show, great minds and all that! You are most welcome for the giggles. Any time!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Your father knew what he was talking about, Don. Only the greatest minds truly appreciate these thoughtful examples of punnery. Trust me.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Wow, Cat - what sublime comments. I 'rock the puns'? Sorry about causing any stomach pain from laughter. Take two jelly beans - but don't call me in the morning.

      Thank you for punching all those buttons, too.

    • drbj profile image
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      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Alicia, for your sublime comments and ingenious, inspiring adjectives. You are most welcome, m'dear, for the entertainment.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      By all means, Chris - please visit whenever you feel the need. Your appearance is always appreciated. Have you moved into your new digs yet?

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, livingsta - so nice to meet you. Thanks for enjoying this, the Up vote and the sharing. It was my pleasure, m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Amazing? bp. Takes one to know one. Thanks for the up, funny and awesome!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi again, Nellieanna. Thanks for enjoying the rubber band pun. But you mentioned guns and common sense in the same paragraph. Isn't that an oxymoron?

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Crystal. Delighted I made you smile. You made me smile, too , with your voting up, funny, awesome, and sharing.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Linda. Thanks for hitting all the buttons and your kind comments. And for enjoying the photos, too. Say hello to Laura for me.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Loved your comment, tireless: 'Mind stimulating shoot, funny to boot.' That was delightful reading for me, y'know.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Now that's funny, Ian, how you were entertaining folks in the next car while laughing out loud at these puns. If they were upset it was obvious because of their lower class standing - or sitting. So happy I could return the favor and entertain you.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Yes, shanmarie, even yelling 'Hi, Jackie,'to a friend on a plane could get you in a heap of trubble.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Dianna, thanks for loving this and chuckling about the teacher pun. Yes, by all means do share with others. Why should just you and I have all the fun?

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Genna. My pleasure, m'dear, to supply chuckles and grins via puns and photos. Happy you found the boomerang pun scrumptiously funny, and so voted.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      I would be delighted, Martie, to become your PC - Private Comedian. If you can send your pilot on your private plane to fetch me, that is the very least I could do in return. Thank you for the sublime adjectives. My pleasure, m'luv, to supply your best laugh of the day.

    • drbj profile image
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      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Thanks, JRocco, for loving my puns and the A with multitudinous pluses. As well as the Up and up vote.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      So happy, KKGals, that I made you laugh with a hub that came just at the right time for you. Do hope you are not jobless because of cuts in your school system. Whatever happened to the notion of tenure?

      Thank you for the compliment and my awesome sense of humor thanks you, too.

    • drbj profile image
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      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Kathryn - making you laugh, m'dear, was my pleasure. Thank you for the Up and sharing.

    • drbj profile image
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      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      So nice to meet you, las. Thanks for finding my funny puns and liking them a lot. Happy my timing was perfect. So did you vote up - for sure?

    • iguidenetwork profile image

      iguidenetwork 4 years ago from Austin, TX

      I love "Hi Jack!" thing. Might have scared a lot of passengers! :D

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      What a revoltin' development that was, Shanmarie, involving your bank and your account. That senior bank official was much too big for her britches as well as being a complete cretin. You did the right thing by closing your account.

      No need to apologize, m'dear, you are welcome to use a tony of my comment space ... any time!

    • drbj profile image
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      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Kathryn, welcome to the discussion re Shanmarie's account. Happy we got that straightened out.

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      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, padi k. Delighted I could provide some chuckles for you with a whole lot of funny puns. I know that you are a believer just like me in the power of love and laughter. May angels surround you as well.

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      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Nice to see you again, iguidenetwork. Thanks for loving the 'Hi, Jack' pun. Isn't it sad that something so innocent could be so frightening if we heard it on an airplane?

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      Twilight Lawns 4 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      You always do entertain me, drbj. I look forward to reading your hubs... they are so off the wall, sometimes.

      (What do I mean, "sometimes"?)

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      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Perhaps, my dear Ian, you mean really off the wall some times and only slightly off the rest of the time. Both of which I shall take as an accolade.

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      Twilight Lawns 4 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Mwah!

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      Nicole S Hanson 4 years ago from Minnesota

      Too funny! Great hub here.

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      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Thanks for the 'funny,' Nicole. Nice to make your acquaintance.

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      Superfine49 4 years ago

      I loved the puns about losing a job. You are so creative!

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      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      And so are you, Superfine, creative that is, to recognize that. Thank you for your gracious comment. ;)

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      precy anza 4 years ago from USA

      Good evening! :) Thank you for the funny puns. And I too, love the flight attendant pun ^-^' Up, awesome and shared!

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      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, precy, thanks for stopping by, and for the up, awesome and sharing. Happy you enjoyed the funny puns including the 'Hi, Jack' one.

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      Mel Carriere 4 years ago from San Diego California

      I had a one legged girlfriend once too, her name was Eileen! (Get it?) I enjoyed your puns. I wouldn't worry about the bellyachers who call you insensitive because you stand here and crack jokes on the gallows. If one can't laugh at oneself then one's life must be pretty bleak indeed. Thanks for the smiles.

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      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Oh, I like that one-legged girl named Eileen pun, Mel. Thanks for sharing it. Like you, I believe that he who laughs ... lasts!

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      Thelma Alberts 3 years ago from Germany

      Brilliant! Funny! Can you see me laughing out loudly? I love the pun with the "Hi, Jack". I hope no stewardess will say that when I´m in a plane. LOL! Thanks for sharing. This was my first laugh for today. Awesome!

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      I can't see you laughing, Thelma, but I do believe I heard you way over here on the other side of the world. Thanks for loving the puns. Delighted I could provide your first laugh of the day. May you have millions more!

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      Sheila Brown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma

      I love all your puns! I can't even pick a favorite. I love your sense of humor, it's just what I needed today! Voted up and funny! :)

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      Audrey Howitt 3 years ago from California

      So funny!! I might be the witch raising hell!

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, sg, thank you for loving all my puns and my sometimes, somewhat distorted sense of humor. You don't have to choose a favorite either - you can love them all. Happy to supply a few laughs. Thanks for the Up and funny.

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Dear Audrey - You could NEVER be the witch raising hell. Trust me with this! Thanks for the funny, m'dear.

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      Audrey Howitt 3 years ago from California

      I just had to come back and read this one again---I needed a good gut guffaw--and sent it around again as well!

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      georgescifo 3 years ago from India

      really and funny images..can't stop laughing. Had a good start to my day by reading this hub.

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Delighted to provide another guffaw, Audrey. Thanks for the return visit and the sharing.

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Nice to meet you, georgescifo. Happy to provide a good start to your day. Any time. Thanks for laughing at the poems and the images.

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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Okay. I read this again and am laughing, again. Thanks for the smile in my day. Reposting for others to get a bit of good medicine: laughter. Blessings.

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, sweet Dianna, for returning to read again. The smile, m'dear, is my pleasure. And thanks for the re-posting, too. Blessings backatcha!

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      Audrey Hunt 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Will someone please pull me from off the floor - you see I've bee rolling around on it with laughter from these funny funny puns.

      I loved these the last time I was here, but I find them even funnier now. These are priceless!!!

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      Patricia Scott 3 years ago from sunny Florida

      Good morning drbj

      I needed to chuckle this a.m. I probably read and commented on this before but if so I must have loved it enough to read it again.

      The orange juice one is divine. :D Thanks for the smile Angels are on the way ps

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      Mary Hyatt 3 years ago from Florida

      Darn it, I had to wait until that stupid floating ad made its way across my screen. I mentioned these in the Forum. Said to take a screen shot and report, but it moves before I can get to my screen shot.

      Anywho.....I just need a chuckle this AM, and I haven't seen you in a while: not your fault. I don't get over this way very much any more. Hope you are well.

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      Don A. Hoglund 3 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      These are great puns. You are making me appreciate some of the stuff I used to hear all the time but didn't think of them as puns. Maybe because I come from a Scandinavian background and punds like these would be said as if they were serious.

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      CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

      You are amazingly hilarious! Thank you for that! :D

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      SuperS 3 years ago

      You are amazing and the most unbelievable writer. You are so clever!

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Look at it this way, Audrey. Rolling around on the floor is a great way to exercise. Thank you for loving these puns, m'dear. You know what they say about the second time around. Thanks for the priceless. So are you, m'luv, so are you!

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Another rerun, Patricia? I am blessed. Thanks for loving this. You know the smile and the chuckles, as always, are on me, m'dear.

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Been missing you, Mary, so it's twice as nice to have you visit. Hope all is going well with your move. And that you are well, too.

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      You are welcome, Crafty. 'Amazingly hilarious' are two of my favorite words, y'know.

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, SuperS. Thanks for the re-visit my dear, especially when your comments are so gracious ... and true, of course.

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      Bruce 3 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      drbj,

      You are a card and you should be dealt with . . .

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Aw, brblog, that's the nicest thing you ever said to me. We pun-lovers have to stick together, y'know.

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      Maria Jordan 3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Late to the comment stream but never too late for a good belly laugh with drbj. This is punny, funny and makes me feel sunny!

      Congratulations on your win as Funniest Hubber...well deserved and awesome! Hugs, Maria

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      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Congrats dear drbj on your award. I voted for you as Funniest Hubber, so well deserved.

      Hugs dear friend,

      Faith Reaper

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      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Funny Puns about Losing Jobs the Funniest Hub so much to laugh about and you did this to perfection.

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      Paula 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      CONGRATULATIONS!! Doc, you deserve it! Funny, funny, funny...and I believe in those quotes, at the end!

      I know how you feel about all those jobs.......all I ever wanted to be was a short-order cook, but they said I was too tall........UP+++

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      Jennifer Stone 3 years ago from the Riverbank, England

      Congrats on your awards drbj.. very well deserved I must say! Love this.. still laughing over "Hi Jack!" :) Voting up and all sorts... all the best, Jen

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Maria. You are never too late as long as you arrive. So there! Happy you had a good belly laugh and thanks for your creative, poetic comment. Thanks also for the congrats on my wins - 'twas nice to learn that I may not be the only one who thinks I am funny. Heh, heh.

      Hugs backatcha, m'luv.

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Faith, for the visit, the vote and the congrats. You ARE a sweetie, y'know. And congrats right backatcha for your award as best religious writer. The Hub team got that right!

      Hugs to you, too, and wishes for a very pleasant weekend.

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, DDE - You win my personal and coveted, of course, Hubbie Award for most perfect comment. Thank you, m'dear.

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Somehow I knew, Paula, that you believed in those final laughter quotes, too. Takes one to know one, y'know. Thank you for the congrats and the kind words.

      Too tall to be a short-order cook, eh? I know exactly how you felt. I had to quit my job as barista at Starbucks ... it was always the same old grind.

      Sorry! :)

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      Paula 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      LOL!!! I love it! Do you realize an entire DAY could be spent, coming up with these quips! Who says we don't use our time productively??!!

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Not me, for sure. Thanks, m'luv, for 'playing the game.'

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      J.Rocco 3 years ago

      Love your puns. How do you do what you do? You are so good at it. In fact your are Terrific and amazing. Thank you for adding laughter and joy . I always feel so much better after I read what you write.

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      My sincere apologies, Jennifer. Somehow I missed responding to your comment above. Mea culpa, mea culpa. Thank you for the congrats and the gracious comments and laughing over 'Hi, Jack.' Thanks for the Up and the votes. YOU are the best!

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Y'know, J. Rocco, to answer your query, how do I do what I do? I haven't the faintest. I just think of stuff and rush to get it into the computer before the tiring brain cells yell, Whoa! So far, so good ... as the fellow falling below the 35th floor of the skyscraper was heard to yell.

      What lovely comments. And what a lovely coincidence - I always feel so much better after I read them. :)

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      Audrey Howitt 3 years ago from California

      Sometimes I think we just have to laugh--Love your sense of humor!

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      You could not be more right on the ball, Audrey. Laughter makes the world go 'round. Thanks for loving my sense of humor ... as I love your poetry, m'dear.

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      Audrey Selig 3 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Hi. Now I remember reading a funny story by you and pinning it. I remember thinking when I need a laugh I know where to go. These are all hilarious. I like the meat grinder. It is hard to remember so many. To a talented person. From. Audrey

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      Audrey Hunt 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Oh, the joy you bring to others! And how much do I love these funny puns? Let me count the ways. My third time here and laughing as much as my other visits. You are gold - pure gold!

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      Feline Prophet 3 years ago from India

      How about professional punster...now that's a job you could never lose! ;)

    • drbj profile image
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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      You got that right, Audrey, here is where to come when you need a laugh. Thanks for the kind remarks, m'dear.

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Audrey. Congrats, m'dear, on the 3-time visits. Any time, m'luv, there is no charge. Love the pure gold comment - so are you, so are you!

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      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      I like that, Feline, 'professional punster.' Perhaps I should add that to my business card underneath where it says: "Mirthologist." For real.

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      Audrey Selig 3 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Hi drbj. I think puns are hysterical, especially yours. One about a dr cracked up my med school relative. Do you also do limericks? I made up a not too funny limerick and puns seem difficult. Keep up the good work. Sharing. Blessings. Audrey

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      drbj and sherry 23 months ago from south Florida

      Hi, brakel2 - don't know how I missed your comment. My sincere apologies, m'dear. Yes, I have done limericks in addition to verse and haiku but puns are one of my favorite forms of printed laughter. Thanks for the kind words and the sharing.

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      Supers49 23 months ago

      All I can say is that you are a Master of writing! So creative and so witty! Everything you write is SUPERFINE! Loved the puns! Love you!

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      drbj and sherry 23 months ago from south Florida

      Wow! What terrific comments. 'Superfine' status is what I have always hoped to attain. Thank you for loving these puns and I love you, too. Promise!

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