- Books, Literature, and Writing»
- Commercial & Creative Writing»
- Creative Writing»
- Humor Writing
Funny Puns about Losing Jobs
Funny Puns about Losing Jobs
Let me explain, dear reader, before you get your panties in a bunch. I know there is absolutely nothing funny about losing a job. It is often a wrenching, painful experience.
But because it IS so unfunny, I’m here to cheer you up with a recital of 15 very funny, very short puns about all the wonderful jobs I lost:
I once worked in an orange juice factory.
It was the largest in the land.
Then only three months later,
I got my pink slip and was canned.
No, it was not cruel fate,
‘Twas because I could not concentrate.
Then I worked for a short time
In the woods as a lumberjack,
But I couldn’t clear the tracts,
So the boss gave me the axe.
I tried to be a tailor,
But I wasn't suited for it.
Ah well, you should know,
The job was only sew-sew.
I tried to work in a deli
But the job got me flustered.
No matter how I sliced it,
I could not cut the mustard.
I thought about becoming a witch,
So I tried that for a spell.
Managed to summon the devil
But was fired for raising hell.
I managed to get a very good job
After several weeks of training.
Working for a pool maintenance company,
But I found the work was just too draining.
For a short time, I worked for a butcher,
And my duties I would never shirk.
Had to quit when I backed him into his grinder,
And he got a little behind in his work.
My favorite job was flight attendant,
Wheeling drink carts from front to back.
But I lost that job when I spied a friend,
And loudly yelled, Hi, Jack, Hi, Jack!
I once worked in Australia and learned
To throw a boomerang eventually.
Can’t remember exactly how that works
But don’t worry, it will come back to me.
Worked for an eye doctor in Alaska,
But patients had trouble with their eyes.
Turns out he was an optical Aleutian,
Just another quack in disguise.
I would have liked to be a singer
And I often broke into song.
Because I could not find the key,
I would always get the gong.
I worked in a towel company,
But then the owner sold it.
So I worked for the new buyer
Until the towel company folded.
I always wanted to be a teacher
With morals and ethical scruples.
But because I was born cross-eyed,
I could not control my pupils.
After many, many, many years
I have almost reached my limit.
Now I work as a historian,
Even though there’s no future in it.
I never joined a dangerous cult,
Those folks can cost you your wealth.
I always practiced safe sects,
So much better for my health.
Are you wondering, did I really have all those jobs? Of course I did. Would I lie to you?
Note: If you are speculating about my personal life, too . . .
. . . I had a boyfriend with a wooden leg,
Who tried to take me down a peg.
So I broke it off.
"All you need in the world is love and laughter. That's all anybody needs. To have love in one hand and laughter in the other." – August Wilson
"Seven days without laughter makes one weak." – Mort Walker
© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2013. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So." Learn to write a dynamic resume and cover letter, network effectively, interview confidently, and negotiate salary.