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National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Eight
This is Martha. She should have taken swimming lessons from Esther.
National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Eight
Funny jokes are often based on what we call ‘lateral thinking.’ A good joke will take you down a path that suddenly takes a sharp turn at the punch line. That is what makes the joke so funny. A good riddle can have a similar effect – it sharpens your intellect. See if these two riddles do that for you:
1) David's father has four sons: Eeney, Meeney, Miney and _____
2) What is the greatest worldwide use of cowhide? ____________
Write your two answers on a piece of paper and then check the correct answers below at the end of the funny short joke.
Funny Joke Number Eight
George and Martha were both patients in a private mental hospital. They had been institutionalized five years ago and had become close friends. Their principal enjoyment was to take long walks through the hospital grounds.
One day as they both walked beside the swimming pool, Martha suddenly jumped into the deep end and sank quickly to the bottom. She had never learned to swim. Without any thought for his own safety, George immediately jumped in after her, brought her to the surface, hauled her out, administered CPR, and saved her life.
The next day happened to be George's annual review. He was brought before the hospital review board, where the director told him, "George, I have some good news and some bad news for you.
The good news is that because of your heroic and selfless act yesterday in rescuing Martha, the board has decided that you are now mentally competent, and can be released from this institution back into society.”
“The bad news is … I'm so sorry to have to tell you … that Martha, the patient you saved, shortly afterwards hung herself in the bathroom with the belt from her bathrobe. By the time she was discovered, it was too late. She could not be resuscitated. Martha is dead."
"Martha didn't hang herself," George replied, "I put her there to dry."
Funny Quote
“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work … I want to achieve it through not dying.” – Woody Allen
Answers to Riddles:
1) Did you answer ‘Moe’ ? Read it again. The correct answer is ‘David’ .
2) Did you answer some sort of leather product? The answer is ‘cowhide’ – to hold cows together.
© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"
Esther Williams - Mermaid of the Movies
Funny Humorists
- Tribute to Erma Bombeck - Queen of Housewife Humor
Erma Bonbeck was the queen of housewife humor. Much of her early work was published during an era when the majority of women were working women - Tribute to Rodney Dangerfield - Prince of the One-Li...
74 one-liner jokes that will never go out-of-date! You may remember Rodney Dangerfield – the nervous, twitching comic with bulging eyeballs - Tribute to Ogden Nash - the King of Light Verse
Frederic Ogden Nash was an American poet well known for his light verse concerning amusing or serious subjects featuring puns, creative rhyme and alliteration.
Comments for Funny Short Joke Number Eight
Ouch!!!! :D
Indeed ouch, loved the joke, I don't know who I feel most sorry for geaorge or Martha. sad to say I got both riddles wrong.
Keep em coming :)
You got me with those riddles! The joke is a little morbid, but still funny. Love this series you are posting.
That was "awful" but very funny.
Oh my! I love starting the day with a good laugh.
OMG, This is shockingly hysterical..LOL..Poor Martha.HaHa
- Author
Well, Feline, I guess an 'Ouch' IS a step above a 'Groan,' so thank you very much. Although I don't know if your mouth is wide open in laughter ... or pain! :)
- Author
As long as you loved the joke, Rosemary, and asked to keep them coming, there is no penalty for missing the riddles. This time!
Don't grieve for Martha - she's in a better place. And George has improved so much he is now a lifeguard at the institution. But they have emptied the pool! :(
- Author
Aha! So I gotcha with the riddles, teaches? Your analytic skill probably got in the way. Yes, I agree, this joke is on the morbid side but it made me laugh so I posted it. Thank you for loving this series.
- Author
Hi, christopher, I know, this joke is 'awful' but I thought it was awfully funny regardless. Delighted you agree.
- Author
It is my fervent pleasure, Pamela, to assist you in starting the day with a good laugh. Thank you, m'dear.
- Author
Well, I always say, Ruby, that 'shockingly hysterical' is way better than just plain 'funny.' Knew you would be laughing at it.
This joke just goes to show that selecting a companion in a mental institution is fraught with danger.
You have a wicked streak in you drbj, but as long as she was dry when they found her, I'm sure they all lived happily ever after (except her of course).
Oh No...poor Martha, that was Both SICK and FUNNY...so what does that make me for Laughing...Enjoying your Hub Drbj!
- Author
A wicked streak? dear amillar. If you won't tell anyone, I won't either. Loved your comment. Now you are making me laugh!
- Author
Hi, b. Don't you just love sick and funny together? I do! And laughing is okay with me. Thanks for enjoying this. George thanks you, too. Martha? I'm not sure.
I came, I saw and I laughed and I voted UP and funny.
The Frog
I said Moe and leather! Gosh I feel so predictable:) lol
Funny! I didn't see that ending coming for sure - hanging her to dry:) pffft! lol
- Author
Thank you, Jim. Do appreciate that you came, you saw and you laughed. Why does that line sound so familiar to me? Thank you also my friend for the Up and funny.
- Author
Don't feel badly, Kelly, those are the kind of riddles only kids can solve. We more sophisticated, analytic, professional types see things differently. Heh, heh. Sorry that the ending snuck up on you. I think the same thing happened to Martha. Phfffftt!
OMGosh! You've got me with David! Such a proof that I don't pay proper attention to every word in a sentence... We do that, don't we... So guess why we have so many misunderstandings....
I was right with the cows.... (Thank you for the pat on my shoulder :)))
The joke is absolutely hilarious! Hahaha!
Voted up, funny and stimulating.
drbj, you are one of a very special kind. I hope you get spoiled with lots of love on a daily basis.
- Author
I agree, Martie, so often when we think we are listening to what someone else is saying, we are really only thinking about what we are going to reply. It's inborn with some folks and probably contagious. Heh, heh.
You get a pat on the shoulder and a bushel and a peck of hugs for answering the cow riddle correctly. Elsie and Bossie thank you too. (They are famous cows in the U.S.; not certain about S.A.)
Thank you for the up, funny and stimulating. And your compliments are always one of a kind. Love ya, girl.
You got me on both counts for the riddle. I said Moe and leather...Duh do I feel dumb! Thanks :)
- Author
Don't feel badly, Susan. It just proves you have the mind of an adult. Now if you had said, 'Moe, in leather ...' that might be the basis for an interesting hub. But I digress. Ho, ho.
The first riddle - nailed it. The second one - didn't nail it. I love dark jokes, as my own humor is pretty dark as well. Naturally, the joke was just as if you had asked me what to write :)
- Author
So you nailed the first riddle? Good for you, nemanjaboskov. Don't fret about the second. Few readers get that one because the answer borders on the ridiculous. Of course, cowhide keeps the cow together.
So you are a fan of dark humor, eh? I'll have to keep that in mind. Thanks for stopping by.
How did I miss this funny joke hub? I'll try to never let that happen again. Up and funny.
- Author
I knew something was missing from this one, bp. It was YOU! Promises, promises! Thank you, m'luv, for the Up and funny.
I have to confess: I laughed cruelly at Martha's fate. I couldn't help it--the picture it evoked was funny!
- Author
Laughing is good, Paradise, and Martha is not around for you to hurt her feelings. George, the poor dear, was only trying to help her. Delighted that this joke prevoked as much laughter for you as it did for me when I first heard it.
Okay. I had to go back and read it over a few times but I finally got the first one, only after I read a comment above. Actually, I knew the second one! Good riddles, Drbj. Thanks for the chuckles.
- Author
Riddles can be deceiving, Peg, but you did well. Happy you enjoyed them and the chuckles are my pleasure, m'dear. Thanks for finding this.
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