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National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Thirteen

Updated on April 16, 2012

National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Thirteen

I want to make it very clear at the start, I have nothing against Minnesota or Minnesotans. It’s a fine state – although it is often as frigid as Alaska in the winter – and the Minnesotans I have met are charming. That statement is a disclaimer. I don’t want to see my face on a Wanted poster.

Funny Joke Number Thirteen

A young man named Bradley had just started working in the produce section of a large, well-known supermarket. A fellow came into the store and asked if he could buy just one half of a large head of lettuce.

Bradley replied, “Sorry, sir, but only whole heads of lettuce are available.” But the customer was very persistent and told him to check with the store manager.

Bradley walked into the storeroom and told the manager, “There’s a moron out there who wants to buy only half a head of lettuce.” He turned around just as he finished his statement to find that the customer had followed him into the storeroom and was standing right behind him.

Bradley thought quickly and said, “But this customer wants to buy the other half!”

To keep the customer satisfied, the manager said okay. Later, the manager took Bradley aside and said, “You know, you almost put both feet in your mouth with your ‘moron’ remark about that customer. But you got yourself out of trouble very quickly and I’m impressed by that. You think on your feet and management is always looking for new talent. Where are you from?”

“I’m originally from Minnesota, sir,” Bradley replied.

“That’s half a continent away from here,” said the manager. “Why did you leave Minnesota?”

Bradley replied, “That’s easy to answer, sir, they are all just prostitutes and hockey players up there.”

“Really!” said the manager. “My wife is from Minnesota.”

Bradley quickly answered, “Is that so? What team did she play for, sir?”

Funny Quote

“I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.’” He said, “Yes, but not in a row.” – Steven Wright

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"





I wish my supermarket was this much fun!

Comments for National Humor Month Funny Short Joke Number Thirteen

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    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      Smart guy, a real quick thinker. Loved the video, caught some of the kids faces who thought the adults were nutters. hahaha What a wonderful way to cheer all those shoppers up, shoppings never been so much fun.

      Thanks for tha laughs

      Voting up

    • precy anza profile image

      precy anza 5 years ago from USA

      Lol. I was all sleepy and you just made me laughed tonight watching this video. ^.^' Thanks!

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 5 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      What is really bad is I recognized one of my friends dancing on the video from CA. Funny jokes

    • xstatic profile image

      Jim Higgins 5 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

      A good laugh here, thanks for it!

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 5 years ago

      It's 1:46 AM and I'm still UP! So I thought I'd stop by, and have now had a Laugh or two. Maybe you should stay out of Minnesota for a while....Ha, Ha! The Video was Fun to look at. Ok, now I'm going to go to Bed, and hopefully fall asleep.

      Oh, and Thanks for the e-mail, I made the Correction... Feel free to come by and Comment!

    • De Greek profile image

      De Greek 5 years ago from UK

      My sweet friend drbj, being away from Hubpages has caused me to miss so many of your wonderful hubs. I miiiiiiiiiis you ;-(

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 5 years ago from United States

      That young man was sure a quick thinker. Very funny joke again. I liked your video also. I'm never that happy about having to go to the grocery store. Voted up and funny again!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Bradley is a quick thinker, Rosemary, he'll go far. Probably end up in politics. Dang! Delighted you enjoyed that dancing video as much as I do. How perceptive of you to note those shoppers' expressions. To each his own.

      My pleasure to provide the laughs and thank you, m'dear, for the Up.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, precy, hope you were able to fall asleep after all that laughter while watching this video. No thanks are necessary, the pleasure was entirely mine.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      What a coincidence, Becky, that you recognized a friend dancing on the video. You should email him/her and suggest they apply for that TV show: 'America's Got Talent.' Thanks for appreciating the jokes.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      You are welcome, xstatic, happy you had a good laugh here. Hope it didn't keep you up.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thanks for the tip, b. I shall postpone any Minnesotan visits for awhile. Hope you finally got to bed. Perchance to dream. No thanks necessary for the email - my pleasure. And your hub IS on my reading list.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      How lovely to hear from you, dearest Dimi. Hope all is well with you and yours and that you are making great progress on your book. If you can find time, I know you will enjoy the other jokes in this series since you have such an exquisite sense of humor . . . just like me!

      I miiiiiiiiiis you, too.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Pamela. Yes, Bradley is a quick thinker. If only we could elect one for a leader! Thanks for enjoying this joke and video. Grocery shopping is not inviting for me either. Guess we're shopping in all the wrong places! Thanks for the visit, the funny and the 'up,' my clever friend.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 5 years ago

      I loved everything, the joke, the video and the fact that you make me laugh whenever read one of your hubs. Up funny and awesome.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      What great fun! What would we do without your funny jokes? Love 'em all. The video was so cool. The old Gal from Kentucky gets my vote. More please....

    • Green Lotus profile image

      Hillary 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      Wow I wish I could be as fast on my feet as ole Bradley! I laughed, but deep down I'm jealous!

    • christopheranton profile image

      Christopher Antony Meade 5 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      Is that really all they do in Minnesota? The only person I ever heard of that came from there was the character "Betty" from "The Golden Girls" and she was neither a prostitute or a hockey player.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I love the jokes, drbj. I couldn't think as fast as Bradley to get myself out of an awkward situation! The video was great fun, too.

    • Feline Prophet profile image

      Feline Prophet 5 years ago from India

      Lettuce be glad we aren't the butt of your jokes...yet! :D

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      Quick thinker -- so amusing and I am still laughing! Your disclaimer is cute. I also wish my grocery store were this fun! Love the jokes. Voted up and shared!

    • amillar profile image

      amillar 5 years ago from Scotland, UK

      The chap's a wit and a diplomat drbj, just like you are. But he could've sold him a half-lettuce at the price of a whole one, saying that unlike half lettuces whole lettuces are on a half price offer. Then he could charge a premium on top of that, as half-lettuces are more expensive to produce, due to administrative costs. He might lose a customer, but who cares?

    • jainismus profile image

      Mahaveer Sanglikar 5 years ago from Pune, India

      I enjoyed this Hub, thanks for those smart jokes.

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 5 years ago from Upstate New York

      Oh, very cute! And I loved that dancing video! Thanks, doc.

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Ha ha Bradley can think on his feet alright, he can think on them all the way into his mouth! Nice un Drbj. Btw, yours truly is a Bradley on one side, but we're not from Minny-sota.

    • Dolores Monet profile image

      Dolores Monet 5 years ago from East Coast, United States

      Hi, drbj - your hubs always make me smile. Thanks for a morning laugh!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, bp, I love that you liked everything and even more, I love to make you laugh. Thank you for the Up and the button-pushing, m'luv.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Ruby. Delighted you had fun with the 'Bradley' joke and the grocery dancing video. If I ever meet that cool Kentucky dancer, I'll give her your regards. Stay tuned for more.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Don't be jealous, Hilary, I've read statements you have written on your hubs that are so witty they would make Bradley hang his head in shame. Trust me.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      It's only hyperbole, christopher, only hyperbole. But it works for the joke. The Betty you referred to from Minnesota is that delightful actress, Betty White, from 'The Golden Girls.' She played the part perfectly of that innocent and sweetly naïve roommate from Minnesota. I adore her and have written two hubs about her. Thanks for stopping by.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Hi, Alicia, Bradley is quite witty and I hope his last witticism saved his career in produce. Wouldn't it be great to be that fast on your feet? Rodney Dangerfield and George Carlin were. I heard them in person put down hecklers with a nanosecond retort. Thanks for enjoying the video, too, m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Other fictional folks, perhaps, but never you, sweet Feline, never you. Lettuce (to use your clever vernacular) always romaine best friends the way we have always bean.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Yes, teaches, Bradley is indeed a quick thinker. If he doesn't suceed in produce he can always make it on the stage as a comedian. Right? Thanks for laughing at the joke AND the disclaimer.

      Me, too, I wish grocery shopping were more fun like in the video. Maybe I should start dancing on my next visit. On second thought, bad idea, I don't think they are ready for that! Thank you, m'luv, for 'up'ing and sharing.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Amillar, for the compliment. And you are so right - how clever you are - the manager could have charged more to sell tha customer the half lettuce. Have you ever thought of a career in produce, my friend?

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      You enjoyed this hub and these smart jokes, jainismus? Isn't that a coincidence? I enjoyed your visit and your comment. Thank you.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Thank you, Paradise, for finding this joke 'very cute,' and loving the dancing video. Wish I could do some of those moves. I'm working on it.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      You are spot on, Alastar, Bradley needs to think first before he speaks. But why should that be necessary? We have a leader (?) and members of Congress who operate in the very same fashion. Sorry, I couldn't neglect an opening.

      When it comes to quick thinking, my friend, I don't think you need any assistance with that trait, as evidenced by your literate hubs.

    • SilentReed profile image

      SilentReed 5 years ago from Philippines

      Like Bradley, prostitutes and hockey players have to be mentally nimble and resourceful but not necessarily Minnesotans. :)

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 5 years ago from South Africa

      Now that was 'thinking on his feet'! I would love to have some of his brains...

      Lol!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      You have summed up the essence of the story perfectly, SilentReed. Prostitutes, hockey players and wannabe produce managers should be mentally nimble and resourceful. Residence in Minnesota is not necessarily a qualification. Thanks for your nimble and clever translation, m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      Yes, Martie, Bradley will probably go far because of his ability to think on his feet. But don't envy him for a minute, m'luv, you could run rings around him if you chose. Trust me.

    • nemanjaboskov profile image

      Nemanja Boškov 5 years ago from Serbia

      Bradley is a real character, drbj! Another great joke, my friend!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      I agree, nemanja, Bradley is a character and he is real. I have worked with a few folks like that who have that quick-witted facility. Makes life interesting, y'know. Thanks for the visit.

    • barbergirl28 profile image

      Stacy Harris 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

      I am horrible at jokes so I was wondering where you were going to go with that one. Funny funny stuff! Love it!

    • John Sarkis profile image

      John Sarkis 5 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      LOL!!! I loved this drbj, very original!

      Voted up

      John

    • shea duane profile image

      shea duane 5 years ago from new jersey

      soooooooooo funny

    • John MacNab profile image

      John MacNab 4 years ago from the banks of the St. Lawrence

      drbj! Never, ever, have I found customers dancing in Wal-Mart, except with rage. I like your quick thinking Bradley. Excellent.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      So happy I had you in suspense, Stacy, that's the stuff really funny jokes are made of. Thanks for loving it m'dear.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Nice to see you, John. Thanks for the laugh, the love, the 'original,' and the Up. My pleasure.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Nice to meet you, shea duane. You are sooooooooooo appreciative!

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      Perhaps, John, the customers you see in your Wal-Mart are dancing the Zumba - it can get pretty angry. Bradley sends his respects and I thank you for your clever visit.

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Haze 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

      That guy could sure think fast on his feet. Hope he can keep getting them back out of his mouth to save himself. HaHaHaHa..I'm still laughing. Up and Oh, so funny.

    • drbj profile image
      Author

      drbj and sherry 4 years ago from south Florida

      It's so nice to hear you laughing, KKGals. Delighted you found this Up and funny. Now are you dancing, too?

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