ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Sarcastic and Funny Vegan Quotes

Updated on April 14, 2019
stricktlydating profile image

Hubpages writer StricktlyDating is an Australian writer creating pages of original funny quotes and status updates.

A collection of sarcastic and funny quotes about vegans and a vegan diet.

Vegan Quotes

  • First rule of vegan club, tell everyone about vegan club.
  • Why did the vegan cross the road? To tell somebody else that she is a vegan.
  • Every healthy vegan has a parent who quietly mixes cows milk with their grains.
  • Stop talking about your diet. Eat a lettuce and be sad.
  • I've got 99 problems and protein ain't one.
  • This lettuce died just so you could be vegan.
  • How can you tell if someone is vegan? Don't worry they'll tell you.
  • The hardest thing about being vegan is waking up at sunrise to milk the almonds.
  • Even vegans have competition about who has the best vegan diet: raw vegan, gluten free vegan, sugar free vegan, junk food vegan, eating disorder.
  • Vegan - just another way of saying I'm afraid to eat anything that poops.
  • Vegan - just another way of saying I'm afraid to eat a normal diet.
  • Vegan is just an old native word for bad hunter.
  • You'll never have beef with a vegan.
  • Dear Vegans, most animals eat animals, it's the circle of life, deal with it.
  • Dear Vegans, filling your body with only garden produce doesn't make you a better person.
  • Dear Vegans, shock, horror I know, but your body was perfectly designed for consuming animal products.
  • Vegans will tell you that restricting their diet is not a diet.
  • I'm tired all the time. That is because you are vegan.
  • I love telling people I'm vegan. Why? Are you seeking sympathy?
  • Imagine how bored vegans are when they haven't told anyone they are vegan for more than 10 minutes.
  • Vegans must be so bored checking the label on everything they eat before they decide if they will allow them self to taste it.
  • He was so vegan that he wouldn't even call me honey.
  • So you're a closet carnivore? Only eats meat when no-one is looking.
  • Vegan: A person who doesn't eat meat and does not shut up about it.
  • Non vegan: An advocate for plants feelings once they know you are vegan.

  • A vegan's life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what milk is in it.
  • If vegans love animals so much why do they eat all their food?
  • When you ask someone if they're still vegan and they admit they are but they really crave ice-cream.
  • Newsflash! No one thinks you're a better person than them because you are a vegan.
  • A vegan said to me people who sell meat are disgusting. I said, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
  • How many times I've asked if you're vegan = 0. How many times you've mentioned being vegan today = 10.
  • You mean to tell me society thrived on eating meat for years because we are all uneducated?
  • Vegan level 5. Tries to educate everyone about why vegan diet is healthy. Meanwhile eats fries as it's the only option on the menu.
  • For every animal you don't want to eat, I want to eat two. I crave bacon burgers.
  • No-one cares less about a balanced diet than a vegan.
  • The salad didn't grow for you to eat any more than the cow did.
  • If you have to ask if there’s a vegan option you probably shouldn’t be in the restaurant.
  • It's all fun and games until a vegan starts to tell you why their diet is better than you.
  • Dear Vegan, you are here today because your ancestors farmed the land you live on.
  • Have I mentioned I'm vegan yet?
  • If you are a vegan who went to the gym today, what do you tell people first?

  • When a person tells you they're almost a vegan, they just haven't given up white meat yet.
  • Look over here please, we have a vegan! See? Nobody cares.
  • I start to feel sick every time a vegan tries to explain how healthy it is to be vegan.
  • I start to tell someone I'm vegan and I'm disappointed when it doesn't make them like me more.
  • If you care about animals so much, why don't you volunteer at an animal shelter?
  • If you think animals should be free why do you keep a fish as a pet?
  • Part of the reason vegan's suffer anxiety is they sometimes forget to check all of the ingredients on the label before they eat.
  • Hey you pesky vegan, stop eating my garden!
  • Sorry I can't come for a walk, I'm vegan and my bones might break.
  • You can talk to a brick wall. Or you can try to convince everyone to stop eating their cheeseburgers.
  • When you tell a vegan you eat meat for health reasons, and they think you are less of a human than them.
  • Best way to get no one to like you - Tell them you're vegan.

  • Supermarket - the place vegans go to study food labels.
  • When you have no energy because you spent all day studying food labels and you decided on lettuce for dinner.
  • Breaking news! You are not less of a person because you put milk in your coffee.
  • When you make one vegan dish at the party, and everyone thinks it's a side dish and eats it before the vegan.
  • Can I tell you a vegan joke? I promise it won't be cheesy.
  • I'd make a vegan joke, but no one would carrot all.
  • When you don't want friends, start your conversation with "As a vegan...".
  • Dear Vegan, no you cannot explain how you are better than me without offending me.
  • So I noticed your bathroom has a bad odour. Yeah, I'm vegan.

© 2019 StricktlyDating


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Blond Logic profile image

      Mary Wickison 

      10 months ago from Brazil

      These are funny and so true. Thanks for the laugh this morning.

    • diogenes profile image


      10 months ago from UK and Mexico

      Hi, 'Sheila! You're still around? We're the old timers on here now.

      Loved the vegan jokes: why can't people be what they want to be and shut up about it!?

      Happy Easter,



    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)