Funny Circumcision Jokes
That's Gotta Hurt!
These jokes are just that, jokes. If you do not have a sense of humor or just a sensitive person please do not read. For every one else, please enjoy!
"I Couldn't Walk for a Year!"
Two five-year-old boys are standing at the potty to pee.
The first one says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!"
"I've been circumcised," the second boy replies.
"What does that mean?"
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
"How old were you when it was cut off?"
" My mom said that I was two days old."
" Did it hurt?"
"You bet it hurt, I couldn't walk for a year!"
The Emperor's New Bodyguard
The Emperor of Japan advertises for a new bodyguard. Three swordsmen apply: one is Japanese, one is Chinese, and one is Jewish. To test them, the Emperor lets a fly loose in the room and tells the swordsmen to kill it. The Chinese swordsman sweeps down his blade and chops the fly in two. The Japanese swordsman is given the same test. He swings his sword twice and manages to cut the fly into quarters before it hits the ground. The Jewish swordsman is then given a the test. He chases it around the room, swings his sword a few times, then sits down with the fly buzzing around his head. "Why have you stopped?" asks the Emperor. "The fly is still alive." "Yes," replies the Jewish swordsman, "but now it's circumcised."
The Retired Surgeon
A surgeon retires from his long career as a specialist in circumcision. Throughtout his career he has saved hundreds of foreskins as mementos and now wishes to turn them into a souvenir. He takes his specimens to a leathersmith and asks him to make something out of them. A week later the surgeon returns and the leathersmith presents him with a wallet. "All those foreskins and you only made me a wallet?!" exclaims the surgeon. The leathersmith replies, "Yes, but if you stroke it, it becomes a briefcase."
Funny Circumcision One-Liners
What happened to the short-sighted circumcisor? He got the sack.
When they circumcised him, they threw away the wrong bit.
Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20 percent off!