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Furniture Polish is the new Gold of the 21st Century
A New Kind Of Investment
Financial experts are predicting gold to be one of the most valuable commodities and best investment of the 21st Century. Fools, how could they have overlooked furniture polish? Now, I’m not saying that I am a ‘financial whiz’ with the ups and downs of the stock market, but I may be better qualified than the financial experts when it comes to knowing the value of furniture polish.
I have been monitoring my use of polish in my ‘where the heck is the money going’ monthly household budget report, and I have noticed that my usage of furniture polish has gone up 100% in the last 3 months alone!
I am sure you will agree that these are staggering statistics.
Do you find that you are you using more polish these days?
Supermarkets are busy chaotic places, but have you noticed recently where most of the activity is? There are desperate people to be found here, shouting and shoving, pushing trolleys aside in their desperate attempt to get to the ‘Household Cleaning’ aisle. I have witnessed tempers flaring and trolleys abandoned, it’s not pretty. Everyone wants polish. And they are not content with purchasing 1 aerosol; I have seen evidence of at least 2 or 3 to a trolley. Beware if the polish happens to be on special offer, it’s likely to be a ‘Bloodbath’.
A worrying thought, but is there enough polish out there?
Why has polish become such an important necessity to everyday living?
Have you (like me and thousands of others) been seduced by the ‘Rich Glossy Black Finish’ on all our 21st Century electrical appliances?
The Rich Glossy Black Finish
The 21st Century telephone is a thing of beauty, so pleasing to the eye. Who wouldn’t want a touch of sophistication?
In the store, the salesman describes it as ‘sexy’. It beckons to you in all its gleaming glory, and in seconds you’re smitten.
Before you know it, your purchase is tucked under your arm and you are on the way home. But beware - its beauty comes at a price! Within seconds, exposed to ‘home air’ its magnetic charm begins to work.
It’s an incubator for DUST
The rich glossy black finish sends out strong invisible magnetic forces to the whole neighbourhood, sucking in the dust particles, dragging, pulling each one to gather and collect on that beautiful, black glossy and sexy surface.
Our ‘Thing of Beauty’ starts looking a bit dull….
A Poem of Seduction
I can see the wanting
In your eyes
Caress my curves
Do I not shine and gleam?
My glossy finish
Fills you with desire
We were meant to be together
I love the way
You look at me
Your fingers gently caressing me
Am I not sexy?
What are you doing?
That’s no caress
You’re rubbing me
I can hardly breathe
You’re spraying me
That is so 20th Century
You are frowning
Where is your smile?
Your look of desire
Am I not sexy?
Stock Up On The Polish!
Where would we be without our furniture polish now?
Welcome to the world of repetition.
It’s constant polishing and cleaning from now on, in a concerted effort of sheer determination. The challenge? To revive our ‘Thing of beauty’ to its former seductive and sexy allure.