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Furniture Polish is the new Gold of the 21st Century

Updated on January 9, 2013
We are all using more furniture polish!
We are all using more furniture polish! | Source

A New Kind Of Investment

Financial experts are predicting gold to be one of the most valuable commodities and best investment of the 21st Century. Fools, how could they have overlooked furniture polish? Now, I’m not saying that I am a ‘financial whiz’ with the ups and downs of the stock market, but I may be better qualified than the financial experts when it comes to knowing the value of furniture polish.

I have been monitoring my use of polish in my ‘where the heck is the money going’ monthly household budget report, and I have noticed that my usage of furniture polish has gone up 100% in the last 3 months alone!

I am sure you will agree that these are staggering statistics.

Do you find that you are you using more polish these days?

Supermarkets are busy chaotic places, but have you noticed recently where most of the activity is? There are desperate people to be found here, shouting and shoving, pushing trolleys aside in their desperate attempt to get to the ‘Household Cleaning’ aisle. I have witnessed tempers flaring and trolleys abandoned, it’s not pretty. Everyone wants polish. And they are not content with purchasing 1 aerosol; I have seen evidence of at least 2 or 3 to a trolley. Beware if the polish happens to be on special offer, it’s likely to be a ‘Bloodbath’.

A worrying thought, but is there enough polish out there?

Why has polish become such an important necessity to everyday living?

_______________________________________________________________

Have you (like me and thousands of others) been seduced by the ‘Rich Glossy Black Finish’ on all our 21st Century electrical appliances?

_______________________________________________________________

Source

The Rich Glossy Black Finish

The 21st Century telephone is a thing of beauty, so pleasing to the eye. Who wouldn’t want a touch of sophistication?

In the store, the salesman describes it as ‘sexy’. It beckons to you in all its gleaming glory, and in seconds you’re smitten.

Before you know it, your purchase is tucked under your arm and you are on the way home. But beware - its beauty comes at a price! Within seconds, exposed to ‘home air’ its magnetic charm begins to work.

It’s an incubator for DUST

The rich glossy black finish sends out strong invisible magnetic forces to the whole neighbourhood, sucking in the dust particles, dragging, pulling each one to gather and collect on that beautiful, black glossy and sexy surface.

Our ‘Thing of Beauty’ starts looking a bit dull….

Source

A Poem of Seduction

I can see the wanting

In your eyes

As you

Caress my curves

Do I not shine and gleam?

My glossy finish

I know

Fills you with desire

We were meant to be together

I love the way

You look at me

Your fingers gently caressing me

Am I not sexy?

Dearest owner

Help

I’m choking

Can’t breathe

What are you doing?

That’s no caress

You’re rubbing me

It hurts

I can hardly breathe

You’re spraying me

Lavender?

That is so 20th Century

You are frowning

Where is your smile?

Your look of desire

Am I not sexy?


Stock Up On The Polish!

Where would we be without our furniture polish now?

Welcome to the world of repetition.

It’s constant polishing and cleaning from now on, in a concerted effort of sheer determination. The challenge? To revive our ‘Thing of beauty’ to its former seductive and sexy allure.

Good luck.

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    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Sunshine, that's so funny! and I'm with you now I think that's a great idea!

      Thanks for visiting and your comments, take care.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 6 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Very amusing! Cracked me up! I went the opposite way and stopped dusting and the dust bunnies are now paying me rent. haha! GREAT HUB!!!

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Becky, thanks for visiting, glad you enjoyed it:-)

      It was a lot of fun to write and I have enjoyed sharing with you!

      Take care and see you soon.

    • Becky Puetz profile image

      Becky 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      I enjoyed reading your Hub; you have a great, fun writing style.

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Dim, I'm convinced of it!!!

    • Dim Flaxenwick profile image

      Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

      Maybe all manufacturers now have to make things in a way that attracts dust, then they share the profits of polish sales? Hee Hee

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Dim, I seem to be spending a lot of time dusting these days, someone in polish must be making some money!

      Glad you enjoyed it, many thanks and take care.

    • Dim Flaxenwick profile image

      Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

      This was so so funny. All true. though!!

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi tebo, I have never heard of a swiffer either, but am anxious to try one out, it sounds like some kind of miracle worker!

      Many thanks for dropping by, glad you enjoyed it and take care.

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Sueswan, thank you for visiting, I'm glad you've enjoyed the hub and I've made you smile:-)

      I think I might follow in your footsteps and ditch the furniture polish!!

      Take care and I hope you enjoy your day!

    • tebo profile image

      tebo 6 years ago from New Zealand

      Can't say that I have heard of a swiffer, but sounds like it would cut down on the polish needed. Enjoyed this hub, thanks.

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Cloverleaf, that's it exactly, welcome to my world:-)

      Thank you for visiting and voting up, hope you have a lovely day.

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Seeker7, Purchasing all this polish is costing me a fortune, I need to hunt down these dusters:-)

      Many thanks for dropping by, glad you enjoyed it, take care and see you soon.

    • profile image

      Sueswan 6 years ago

      Hi Master Mind,

      Your hubs always make me smile.

      I don't use commercial furniture polish so you won't see me pushing my way to the household cleaning aisle.

    • Cloverleaf profile image

      Cloverleaf 6 years ago from Calgary, AB, Canada

      Another brilliant hub, Movie Master! I can just imagine you spending hours polishing away at your appliances, only to start all over again the next day...

      Voted up and funny!

    • Seeker7 profile image

      Helen Murphy Howell 6 years ago from Fife, Scotland

      Wonderful and so true. I've cut back on the pledge spray and use one of their dusters instead!! Love the poetry - awesome!

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Carrie, Yes, I think we should do all we can to make cleaning fun and our furniture sparkling, passing the job on to someone else is a good idea:-)

      Thank you for visiting, it's nice to see you take care and have a great day.

    • carriethomson profile image

      carriethomson 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      :) great hub, with such a humour laced hub cleaning seems fun i can see my furniture sparkling. Unless i am the one who has to do it.

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Om, that's so funny!

      I hate dusting and now everything I buy seems to be attracting the dust even more, I'm sure my life is revolving around dusting!

      Thank you for visiting and commenting, I really appreciate it, take care.

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Ruby, it sounds as though the 'swiffer' is the way to go, I'm trying to hunt some down...

      Glad you enjoyed the fun, have a fun day take care.

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Rosemay, Yes I think it would be fair to say, we have the odd one or two lying around!!!!

      Many thanks for the vote, glad you enjoyed it, take care and see you soon.

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Joyce, I am excited about getting myself a swiffer, how have I coped without one?

      We don't have a Costo in the UK, but I am now on a mission to find them somewhere...

      Many thanks for dropping by and your comments, have a great day!

    • Om Paramapoonya profile image

      Om Paramapoonya 6 years ago

      hehehe I do need to buy some furniture polish. So far there's nothing very shiny in my house, except my bf's head!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      HaHa what a hoot. I buy the microfiber cloths to spray the polish on. They really give a good shine. Thank's for a fun read.

      Cheers

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 6 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      Voted UP and away.

      This is just brilliant. I hope you are stocking up just in case there is a shortage. I wouldn't mind betting your garage is full of boxes of furniture polish :-)

    • profile image

      writer20 aka Joyce 6 years ago

      I use a swiffer because I hate dusting. It makes dusting really easy and never lets go of the dust it picks up.

      If you go to Costco you can buy a big box of swiffers for about the same price as a smaller one in a store.

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Hyphenbird, I hope you are having a great weekend.

      I reckon polish is the investment of the future for sure!

      Maybe this is our big chance to make our fortune:-)

      I'm glad you enjoyed the laugh, thank you for dropping by and enjoy the rest of your day!

    • Hyphenbird profile image

      Brenda Barnes 6 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

      This was so funny. Perhaps we should sell invest in polish instead of oil. Thanks for a good laugh.

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Jeannie, it sounds as though the Swiffer is the way to go, I need all the help I can get to make life easier:-)

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      Haha... you probably do not need the Swiffer Duster. I use one because I am too lazy to break out the pledge and the dust cloth too much. I hope you have a great weekend, too!

    • Movie Master profile image
      Author

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Jeannie, my problem is I only have one foot in the 21st Century:-)

      Swiffer Duster? Do I need one? I shall have to Google it!

      Many thanks for dropping by and your comments, enjoy the rest of your weekend:-)

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      I imagine the Pledge Duster and the Swiffer Duster are also doing pretty well. Why is it that black furniture and electronics are so in style? I look at it and see all the future dusting. I guess I will have to knock someone out the way to get some Pledge next time I go shopping.