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Get Down And Dirty

Updated on May 19, 2013

There Is Only One Way

It was a beautiful Spring day

Not too hot but the sun was shining bright

There was a job to do and somebody had to do it

I was the most suitable canidate

Since I was the only one in the running

I think politicians should volunteer their services and see if they would stay in politics

If every day they had to get in the thick of it

They would have to put their suit and tie away

Put on some old worn out clothes

I like to think of it as being creative and recycling those clothes for the last time

Now I know for sure I got my moneys worth

Now I have led you on long enough

I just want someone else to get dirt up the nose

You can't help it

It is a reminder that you gave it your all

I have to go in my yard and dig up a small elm tree

The roots are starting to get into our holding tank in our yard

Thats where our waste water is pumped into before it gets pumped up to the street

During this past winter our pump stopped working and an alarm sounded

So we called a plumber

The plumber said we need to call a guy who does waste removal

So when the plumber left he solved the problem

Roots have grown over the past nine years and wrapped around the motor

Luckily he was able to cut them off and the motor was fine

If we waited too long we would of burned out the motor

It could of been a lot more expensive if we had to buy a new motor

About five hundred dollars more

Two hundred dollars for the plumber and one hundred and sixy dollars for the waste removal guy

That was an expensive day

So he suggested to dig up the tree that is too close to the tank

Unless you want to keep having the same problem in a few years

So I first started to dig out the tree roots

Removing the decorative fence and digging up a few plants on either side

Shovel after shovel

Then it was not long before I noticed Poison Ivy growing around the roots and mixed in growing up the tree

So I carefully removed it continued to dig and dig

As the hole got bigger the tree seem to grow bigger

Now it was clear in my mind this was not going to be an easy task

So I soon realized it was time to cut the tree at the stump and then continue to dig after

So I got out an old hand saw I have had for years but never used

I started to saw away

It seemed like hours but the saw finally cut through the tree

But for now only half way through

I got an idea

I have a hand held axe I will chop away at it

Even that seemed like forever

The tree still not moving as I try to crack the top of the tree off

I can't believe what I am seeing

I had to stop and shake my head

Talking to myself

When will I be able to cut it off

In the hole out of the hole

I got a bottled water and drank some of it

That was so good

Back in the hole finally the tree came apart

Now I can see what I am up against

A stump of a tree that is solid and doesn't even move

I took out the shovel and found roots

So I tried to cut them

After a long struggle and three cut roots done

I found more on the other end

So I began to dig deeper

Another two roots

Will they ever end

Now pressed for time I had to stop

We were ging out to eat and I needed a good shower

So I am leaving the stump for tomorrow

A good thing too because my arms are aching and other muscles I didn't know I had were sore

I will sleep on it and check back to see if I dig the tree up or the tree gets the best of me


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    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      5 years ago

      kj force You are always thinking.Another Great idea I will keep in mind for next time.I had to be all macho and dig up that stump all by myself.What a big mistake as every bone in my body aches.A tough lesson to learn. Use your head instead of your muscle.(lol)

    • kj force profile image


      5 years ago from Florida

      DREAM ON...Whew...I am pooped already...Have you given thought to throwing a " Tree Cut " party ? get a bunch of friends together and some ice cold beer and have them bring a saw/axe....set up teams...winning team gets a " Free Italian Dinner " at a local restaurant.... your problem is solved..and everyone had fun.....

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      5 years ago

      Michael-Milec Next time I know who to call so we both can have a ball.I would love to see that stump rise out of the ground.I did the best I could pulling out the mother root.Smaller roots were left in because I would of had to dig up the whole yard.What a pleasure when you share your wonderful stories.Thanx so much have a great night.

    • Michael-Milec profile image


      5 years ago

      Hello dream-on.

      Amusing. You suffered so unnesesarily , tha reading it made me feel guilty. Only if you'll ask.

      In old country ( I was only 14 yr. old) working with adults: we tie up

      a rope high to a branch , dugpamea Anne hubpages

      a hole to find " master" root, we've cut it off, started pulling the rope, the weight of the branches, assisted in lovering the tree, pulling remaining roots out . Finishing was like a joke.

      Hope that you're not hurt after all.

      The Lord bless you and keep you safe.

      Voted funny and interesting.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      5 years ago

      GypsyRose Lee It looks like I might just do the same thing.I am going to give it one more try.Thanx so much for sharing your story.Have a wonderful Sunday.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      5 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Sounds like a really tough job. I rem my husband and I tried uprooting a tree stump and we finally came to the realization that this stump was home and home it would stay and it is still in our garden and looks like a lovely sculpture. Guess it was meant to be. Hope you get done with your job.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      5 years ago

      Kathryn Stratford I agree.I have a great appreciation for those who landscape and do this work every day.Not for me and I just want to be done.Mhatter I was hoping you might be in the neighborhood and want to join in.There is just too much fun for one person.Thanx everyone for reading and sharing and may your life be trouble free from trees that aggrivate the heck out of me.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 

      5 years ago from San Francisco

      I felt tired following your exploits.

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image


      5 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      Wow, what a long ordeal! But in the long run, getting rid of the source of the problem will save you stress later on. And looking at the bright side, you got a good workout!

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      5 years ago

      DDE We have to make choices to decide how our time is spent.When this job is done I will be so proud.For now it is a struggle and I keep asking How?kidscrafts I am up for a battle.A kind of Man vs. Nature.I have to laugh now.Making progress but not done yet.Thanx so much.

    • kidscrafts profile image


      5 years ago from Ottawa, Canada

      That's a big job to remove a stump! I remember, my brother and I doing it when we were kids.... it kept us busy during the summer to dig all around the stumps of several big pine trees.

      Each time we had do cut a tree in our backyard, we called someone to do it and then they have a special machine to grind the stump into pieces...that saved us a lot of time because we had big Manitoba maples in the backyard!

      Thanks for sharing and good luck with the rest of your work :-)

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Sounds a dirty job indeed and yet you managed to get to the point this line needs attention, just to let you know, So I am leaving te stump for tomorrow


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