How to Keep track of your Support network when writing.
It is important when you spend your time to consider everyone else you are already bound to spend time with. Writing is a solitary art and therefore takes lots of time. There are many people who can be absented from your life to give you the solitude you require but why? Read the acknowledgement section of any book and the number of people most writers rely on in order to get their work published is impressive. This number imcludes loved ones that may or may not have other priorities on their mind most of the time then, "that damned book." what isn't in the acknowledgements is how that writer got such support. The word of the day is consideration. Consideration isn't a word that should be egocentrically interpreted. For a writer, their support system is their lifeline their inspiration and their grounding influence. What needs to be considered is, "what do they need from you in return?" While every relationship is different, their are three main considerations to ponder and balance: time, money, and responsibilities.
Regardless of the driving passion writers must have that causes them to want to whole up in their rooms and expect the world not to intrude. Our loved ones expect a portion of our time. We need them. It therefores behoves us to schedule our forays into writers lala land. That schedule is sacrosanct for your significant other. Do not abuse it. What that schedule is will most likely be negotiable at first but, if you are doing it right, will become less so as you go along. Your significant other should be covetting your time. Making your time effective becomes key. Also finding the things that your significant other is passionate about and feeding his or her passions may allow you to steal tie to write if you are prepared for such misdirection. Whatever you do, don't be myopic about the issue of time. It is very important.
The old adage, " time is money," is an axiom that writers cannot get away from. If it is a hobby then great. Build hobby time for your significant other and you now have writing time. If your writing, however gets any more serious you should decide how much money that time is worth. Your loved ones will be keeping track. Writing is either a business or a hobby. For practicality's sake it must be one or the other primarily. Once writing starts to pay for itself you will find that the strictures on your time may relax. Make sure you reward your loved ones for their indulgence of you writin. Make sure that you pay attention to the kinds of rewards they value. Quality always beats out quantity .
Just because you are a writer, if that is what you are, doesn't give you licence in the eyes of your loved ones to shirk everything else in favor of writing. If you haven't been paying attention, writing is hard work. Relationships are also hard work. Maintaining a relationship while wring is a monumental task but keeping up with those things that make your household go around will go a long ways to smoothing things out. If your loved ones can count on you, you will get breathing room. Make sure that you pick relationships where your significant other is as considerate of you as you are of them but look to put out first before expecting reciprocation. As a writer in the quid pro quo equation, you are the buyer not the seller.
Bottom line, be considerate. Writers are a self centered lot. We consider it as being reflective and introspective. That doesn't mean that we can ignor the fact that ours is a rare passion. Maybe that makes us weirdos. I can live with that. I need my support system though and so do you dea reader. That means I need to keep my weird little world in balance with the rest of reality. It might have been easier to have married a writer but I didn't. I married a woman who loves me. That is something I wouldn't squander in the name of selfishness whatever else I might call it.