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Girl Scout Cookies: A Funny Poem

Updated on January 15, 2017
Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy writes about family, home life, parenting, money-saving tips, and many other topics, as well as essays and occasional humor pieces.

Girl Scout Cookies are great, but oh, those calories!

What's your favorite Girl Scout Cookie?

Even if you don't have a daughter or sister who is scouting, or you didn't wear the uniform yourself, one thing we all know about is the annual Girl Scout Cookie Drive.

No matter where I've worked, it seems there's always at least one parent who 'helps' their kids sell Girl Scout Cookies each year. And of course, I've caved in, year after year, to do my share for the cause. Heck, I admit it, they're great cookies - and I've got the hips to prove it!

As good as those deadly little pellets taste, I wish they were sold at a different time of the year. Post-Christmas and Pre-Valentine's Day just isn't a fair window of time for those of us trying to lose the holiday pounds. We all have our favorites - Thin Mints, Peanut Butter Sandwiches, Shortbread, you name it. They're all-too-yummy and tempting, and they pile on the pounds.

Several years ago, everyone in my office decided to go on a diet after Christmas. Then Cookie Season hit us. A dear co-worker (the mother of twin girls) created little four-line rhymes to coax us into buying her cookie-crack. So I composed this poem in revenge.

It didn't work, though . . . I still bought the cookies.

Girl Scout flash mob in Union Station (I guess this is how they keep the weight off from those cookies!).

The Office Pusher: A poem About Girl Scout Cookies

I figured it out, I know just what she’s scheming,

We’ll all try to diet, but we’re only dreaming.

“It’s a pact, she agrees, “we’re in this together!”

It’s a lie! She’s a holdout; her heart’s made of leather.


In just a few weeks, when we’re all getting urges

For chocolates, candies and other fat splurges,

She’ll coax us to munch those sure-fire diet breakers:

“Girl Scout Cookie month’s here! Do I hear any takers?”


Last year she wrote rhymes as she tried to promote them;

A couplet or two, something cute so we’d quote them.

Then she’d throw in the clincher, a few guilt-trip bids,

“Please?” she’d say sweetly, “it’s all for the kids. . .”


I can just see it coming, Calorie City.

Smiling kids on the boxes; we have to take pity.

Temptations cave in; say no, and we’re crass!

And those names! So deceiving, like Thin Mints? My ass!


Our friend’s such a sneak, thinks she’s got it all figured.

She’ll stick to her diet, once our urge is triggered.

We’ll stuff our fat faces and never get thinner,

And when we all weigh-in, of course, she's the winner!


Just thought I’d warn you; I’ve got her out-plotted.

She thinks she’s so clever, but I have her spotted.

It’s not going to work, I know just how to fix her;

I’ve opened a franchise on weight-loss elixir!

© 2012 Marcy Goodfleisch

Comments

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  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    4 years ago from Planet Earth

    Teaches - your expertise always leaves me in awe, so I appreciate your comments very much! At least your hubby can only buy these cookies once a year!

    Steph - I love them, too - I've already put a huge dent in this year's quota! Yum!

    Hi, Audrey - Thin Mints are so good - and very different from any other cookie. I'm a fan of the peanut butter sandwiches - to the dismay of my hips.

    Theater Girl - awwww - that is so precious, to have a little Brownie in you family now! Yes, cookie time is hectic - I know she appreciates your support, and just think of what she will learn now.

    Hi, Sunshine - thanks for reading & commenting! I go through cycles in the cookie sales - it depends on who has kids coming up through the scout programs. I think I'm in for a busy few years coming up soon . . .

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    4 years ago from Planet Earth

    Hi, Bobbie - thanks for your comment! It's amazing to think the GSA has been around for a century now. Your memories must be really special.

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    4 years ago from Planet Earth

    I have a weakness for these cookies, too! They're fun to get every year, and you do feel the calories were for a good cause. I guess . . .

    Thanks for your comment - so glad you enjoyed the poem!

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 

    4 years ago from Orlando, FL

    Cute and clever poem. Luckily I haven't been hit up by girl scouts in a while. Thin mints are my favorite!!

  • Theater girl profile image

    Jennifer 

    4 years ago from New Jersey

    I LOVE this!!! My daughter became a Brownie this year....and the sale is killing me! This gave me quite a laugh! So very creative. Thanks for sharing it!

  • AudreyHowitt profile image

    Audrey Howitt 

    4 years ago from California

    Loved, loved this! The thin mints get me every time!

  • Stephanie Henkel profile image

    Stephanie Henkel 

    4 years ago from USA

    Cute poem! Love those cookies, too!

  • PurvisBobbi44 profile image

    PurvisBobbi44 

    4 years ago from Florida

    Hi Marcy,

    A very cute hub, and since I was a Girl Scout I appreciated it more. We also sold Christmas cards, candles and other items. It was a fun time being young in a small town.

    Thanks for the rebirth of memories.

    Bobbi Purvis

  • teaches12345 profile image

    Dianna Mendez 

    4 years ago

    I have to admit they are good cookies. My hubby is a sucker for those sweet little sakes people. I have to put a limit on his buying! Very creative and funny.

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    4 years ago from Planet Earth

    Thanks, btrebell - I hope you find someone soon! I got some from a friend whose daughter is a Girl Scout, but I've also seen the kiddos outside of stores, and I know several people at church have girls in the program. They're addictive, aren't they?

  • btrbell profile image

    Randi Benlulu 

    4 years ago from Mesa, AZ

    Very cute! And, unfortunately, very true. As I was reading, commisserating and agreeing with your words, I was also tryng to figure out who was selling them this year so I won't miss out! Thank you for this fun hub! Up+++ Randi

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    4 years ago from Planet Earth

    Oh gosh, Suzette - you remember the days when the Girl Scouts really did sell the cookies themselves! I remember those days, too. What a tradition each year - those great cookies - I try to swear off of them every year & it never works. I still buy them, if not every year, often enough. Thanks for sharing your memories!

  • suzettenaples profile image

    Suzette Walker 

    4 years ago from Taos, NM

    LOL! Enjoyed this do much! I remember selling Girl Scout cookies. Parents didn't "help" in those days or my parents didn't help. I we t door to door selling in the coldest time of the year. Great article and poem.

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    4 years ago from Planet Earth

    So glad you enjoyed the poem, Rebecca! I can't remember the names, either (they've changed them, and the names don't reflect the ingredients now). I think shortbread cookies are now 'Trefoils,' whatever that might mean. I'm not sure on others. Maybe you can peek at the names while you're at Walmart, even if you manage to resist buying them. They sure are good, though . . .

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    4 years ago from Planet Earth

    Thanks, Susan! I used to be safe from the cookies, but every few years another batch of daughters or granddaughters comes up the ranks through my network of friends, and there goes my diet. I've ordered several boxes this year - somebody save me from myself!

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    4 years ago from Planet Earth

    Lol! So glad you like the poem, Audrey! I wrote in long ago, to share among my office friends, and it's been fun to publish it here. Thanks for your comments and for sharing it!

  • rebeccamealey profile image

    Rebecca Mealey 

    4 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

    Very cute, I will sure think of this Hub when I see the girls out front at Walmart this year! The cookie you used in the photo is my favorite. I forget what they are called.

  • Just Ask Susan profile image

    Susan Zutautas 

    4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

    And those names! So deceiving, like Thin Mints? My ass! LOL!!!

    Since I've quit working away from home I haven't seen too many girl scout cookies around.

    Love you poem!

  • vocalcoach profile image

    Audrey Hunt 

    4 years ago from Idyllwild Ca.

    This has to be the best, funniest and cleverest poem on the planet. I've read it three times and now I'm sending it on to a bunch of friends who sell Girl Scout Cookies:)

    Fabulous my friend! Audrey

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    5 years ago from Planet Earth

    Glad you enjoyed the poem!

  • profile image

    kk 

    5 years ago

    yea i am a girlscout

  • PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

    Justin W Price 

    6 years ago from Juneau, Alaska

    I'/m a sucker for thin mints. not gonna lie

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    6 years ago from Planet Earth

    Hi, Jerry - they are a little pricey, but a huge ratio of the money goes to some really great things the organization does. In some cases, young girls in disadvantaged areas wouldn't have access to joining if it weren't for the cookie drive. I sometimes buy a box just to help out - then I try to take them to a meeting or something so I don't eat them all myself! Thanks for your comment!

  • JerryJupiter profile image

    JerryJupiter 

    6 years ago from United Kingdom

    While they are delicious... the markup is massive!

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    6 years ago from Planet Earth

    Ooooh, Ardie! I'm glad we don't live any closer - I'd have gone broke for sure, buying from you and your girls. Then I'd be very upset when my clothes shrank. Yet again! I'm so glad you enjoyed the hub, and I'm glad your girls are enjoying their scouting years.

  • Ardie profile image

    Sondra 

    6 years ago from Neverland

    This is too, too funny Marcy! I am the office pusher, I admit it. This year my girls and I sold over 300 boxes of cookies :) Sowwy

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    6 years ago from Planet Earth

    Thanks, Sunshine! It's amazing that Girl Scouts is a century old, isn't it? Wouldn't it be something to have a glimpse of what it was like in those first few years? Thank you for reading and commenting!

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    6 years ago from Planet Earth

    Oh, Billy - it is amazing you're in such great shape! Eighteen years of cookiedom would have done me in! Thanks for your fun comment!

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    6 years ago from Planet Earth

    Hi, Alecia - I know what you mean about the cookies being a mixed blessing! They are too, too good! Thsnks for your comments!

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 

    6 years ago from Orlando, FL

    I read about the Girl Scouts 100th birthday today in the Parade Magazine and I wondered why no one had created a hub about it...Duh! Someone did! Marcy! She even added a shout-out to the cookies! Way to go!:)

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 

    6 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Marcy, with eighteen years as a teacher I can honestly say I almost hate it when the cookies go on sale. If I buy some from one student then I feel obligated to buy it from the next one and so it goes. Love the thin mints but mighty glad I'm not teaching any longer. I couldn't afford it.

  • Alecia Murphy profile image

    Alecia Murphy 

    6 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

    I love girl scout cookies but they don't love me! I agree, there's always someone pushing them on you and you just get fed up after awhile and either buy them or ignore the person. Fun hub!

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    6 years ago from Planet Earth

    Ha! I know what you mean, JusSayin! You can't escape them, can you?

  • JusSayin profile image

    JusSayin 

    6 years ago from The Carolinas

    That is so true and no, they don't just push at the office either. LOL. Great hub, I really enjoyed it.

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    6 years ago from Planet Earth

    Thanks, pmccray! I get ambushed at the grocery store, too, and also my drug store. The kids are cute, and I know they work hard for the cookie drive. Wish they were selling diet pills, too, though . . .

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    6 years ago from Planet Earth

    Oh, yes! I've heard the pitch for 'friends,' too! I've even fallen for it a few times! Thanks for the votes and sweet comments, Sis!

  • pmccray profile image

    pmccray 

    6 years ago from Utah

    LOL . . . what an addiction! Love those cookies and my husband too. Yes . . look at them standing outside the grocery store with their product, little beaming smiling faces belie the "pusher man". Voted up, marked useful, funny and interesting

  • Angela Blair profile image

    Angela Blair 

    6 years ago from Central Texas

    Marcy -- right on girlfriend! I had one excuse that always worked -- I'm diabetic. Have to change my tactics as I now get the pitch "Yes, but you can buy the cookies for friends!" Loved the Hub and the poem was exceptional. Voted up. Best/Sis

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    6 years ago from Planet Earth

    LOL! I think you should market that sales strategy - high schools are the ideal place to sell those cookies (next to maybe a college campus, preferably during finals week!). Thanks for taking time from this busy season (I know you're swamped!) to read and comment, larcaustin!

  • larcaustin46 profile image

    larcaustin46 

    6 years ago from Austin, TX

    Actually, some of my kids' teachers were pushing their kids' cookies at the middle school last week! I do wish that our area had a different sale calendar--I have a Brownie Scout and there's so many other things going on right now without throwing the cookie sale into the mix. We did find a nice solution, though--my high schooler (and former Scout) has been taking boxes to her school early in the morning and just plopping them on the lunch table. They're usually sold within ten minutes...

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    6 years ago from Planet Earth

    Oh gosh - I never thought of how much teachers get hit up during Cookie Season! I would end up broke and fat (or fatter), every year!

  • cclitgirl profile image

    Cynthia Calhoun 

    6 years ago from Western NC

    Oh, man, you really get it when you're a teacher. All your beloved students come up to you with those big puppy eyes and wanton faces...oh, I can't resist. I just can't resist. Nice poem! Voted up. :)

  • Marcy Goodfleisch profile imageAUTHOR

    Marcy Goodfleisch 

    6 years ago from Planet Earth

    Thanks, alocsin! I agree - I never cared for the jewelry party, Tupperware or cosmetic catalogs people would 'casually' leave out in the break room. But Girl Scout cookies, hey - who can complain!

  • alocsin profile image

    alocsin 

    6 years ago from Orange County, CA

    I hate it when people push things at the office. But Girl Scout cookies are so good, I look forward to them. Great poem. Voting this Up and Interesting.

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