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Going Nowhere

Updated on June 11, 2014

Minutes go by yet time stands still, and in that moment I am frozen in fear. I'm afraid to move forward, afraid of standing still and unable to go back, because the past is gone. Left to make choices on a path which remains uncertain, trapped where there are no possibilities. Left in a never ending spiral of manic confusion on a roller coaster that I fear I will never escape.

My life is good, and to second guess it is wrong yet the confusion and doubt remain. Causing me to flounder in this sea of confusion where I find myself. Each step I take is questioned as I sink further beneath the raging waves. Loss, panic, uncertainty and the belief that I destroy everything that I touch is overwhelming. Every thought that passes through my mind drags me further beneath the waves. Am I really that much of a failure? Anger rages in the shadows, and I die with each thought of retribution.

With every movement I fight to reach the surface, and to escape this muck that clings to every morsel of my aching soul. How am I to survive? My world is upside down , but at least I know it. The sea has lost its advantage of surprise, for I know that it is there and it seeks to drag me into the depths of degradation where I refuses to go.


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    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      Great read. Wonderful topic and I loved it!!!

      I apologize for the following being so late. Health issues, Yahoo Mail problems, etc. you know the area. But my note below say what I feel about you following me . . .

      Dear Valerie,

      I wanted to send you my Personal Note of Heartfelt Thanks for becoming one of my followers. This gesture means so much to me. I just hope in some way, I can pay you back someday, and that you will not regret following me.

      Always feel free to write me about anything you want with total-confidence. I am always up for new ideas in hub-writing, healthy criticism, and good input on how I can make my hubs better.

      I just want you to know that I love your work and encourage you to use your gift of writing as much as you can and you will touch a lot of lives.

      Thank you again for being in my world.

      If I can ever be of help to you, just email me and I will do what I can to help you as much as I can.


      Your Friend for Life,