Got those “Born to Whine” Blues
A Poetry Tale for Big "Whiner" Babies:
Got those “Born to Whine” Blues
Is that all you got to say?
Do I have to hold your hand for the rest of the day?
Your questioning is borderline interrogation,
What does our future hold in the hands of some of this generation?
The training I’m giving is not too hard to handle,
Stop…looking at me like your brain is starting to dismantle!
Your attitude is pressing my nerves…it’s practically defiance,
C’mon and get with the program…this ain’t rocket science!
Would you like some cheese with that whine?
What’s that you’re already asking me…When is lunch time?
Someone along the line forgot to make a man out of you!
Wah…Wah…Wah! Now you got me doing it too!
But…I promise you that before this day is through I’m adding another victory won,
I’ve processed thousands before you…I’ve trained ‘em all…every last one.
To train you for our way of thinking…I’ve got patience…I can wait,
But by the end of the day…I promise you…I will indoctrinate…!
What’s that…you’re getting a call to your cell phone in the middle of this class?
I’m about to step away from this podium and come over and kick your silly _ss!
“Oh…What’s that? You say it’s just your mother on the line,”
“Tell her to feel free...to call you at work at any time,
In fact…maybe tomorrow she can call you while your in the unemployment line!”
("Did I just hear you tell her...that you "were busy on your daily grind!"...?)
Ok…That's it! Take a 15 minute break; Me…I need some fresh air before I snap!”
As I leave the conference room, I see my prize pupil put his head down for a nap.
I think my blood pressure is rising, I can feel the veins in my head start to bulge,
All the sudden my boss comes over, and tells me there’s something he forgot to divulge.
The kid that’s getting to me, on the third row, second seat, is none other,
Than the C.E.O.’s, Son-in-law’s, favorite younger brother!
My lips begin to tingle…and I think I lost blood flow to my head,
‘Cause I woke up on the tile floor…my boss was looking at me as though I were dead!
He said, “Thank God…you came to…I thought I was going to have to resuscitate,”
“Sorry,” Said I, “I think it was a lack of oxygen…I’m beginning to hyperventilate!”
He told me to go home…and take off the rest of the day,
I was so glad to stop teaching class that I stood right back up, to hurry on my way.
My boss said anything the “Chosen One” doesn’t pick up…I’ll have him learn from you!
In that case, I think I’m going to use up all my sick days…and come down with the flu.
Now…who is the weak and whiny one that is beaten before the day was ½ through?
Maybe…It’s not too late for a new career path…I wonder what else I can do?
I never thought my job would be like this…when I hired on to Train,
Now a little kookier…that special kid may make me insane!
But as I get home and hit my favorite chair in which to recline,
I see the kids have stayed home from school, and I can hear each one’s whine.
My wife looks at me disgusted, and says at least I can tune out all the crying,
If I told her I was having a “Nervous Breakdown”…Would she think that I was lying?
So, I begin to “Wah-Wah”…for everyone in the whole house to hear,
“That’s it…I can’t take it…I need a break!” Came the words from my wife, dear!
So now I sit here, rocking one kid to sleep…the two year old running circles around me,
He then ran screaming down the hallway, then came back, and jumped up on my knee.
I am praying to the Lord above for relief real soon,
Think I am feeling better…I could be back at work by noon!
I will straighten out the little ones…I am the bigger man,
At least the ones not at my house…my kids are whinier than I am.
The ones at work…that whine too much…I will now be glad to see,
My heart rate has returned back to normal, and also my sanity.
My boss was glad to see me back…and had good things to say,
The “Chosen One” will be assigned to me from now on, he mentioned, “By the way”.
But I am stronger, wiser…now…than I was a few hours before,
At least, I’m not having to watch our kids…now that’s an enormous chore!
I have grown up quite a lot…in just a few hours today.
Note to self: Send Wife flowers…No matter how much I have to pay!
Must keep the little woman happy…I don’t won’t to fill in for her that much,
Most stay busy on the job…the kid’s (at home) need their Momma’s touch…
Everything here with my whiner’s doesn’t seem so bad after all…I have come to see,
Look’s like I’ve learned to find new meaning in my work…and find new serenity!
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