Guest Blog by the President of the SCA
And don't forget to visit our rat-on-a-stick food booth!
Verily! Medieval times beith the greatest era on earth! Is it any wonder we want to celebrate the wonders of the Middle Ages? Come and celebrate with us at the annual Medieval Faire!
Human rights do not exist-ith in here! We shall lock you in the grounds of the faire all weekend, so you can truly experience the era as it was. As long as you are locked in, you might as well come and enjoy our Serf Exhibit, where we will gladly put you to work harvesting turnips and the occasional onion.
Although you will be quite disgusting after working in the fields all day, please don’t ask to bathe—everyone knows great pools of water are bad. Soap? Soap beith an instrument of the devil!
And don’t even ask to use the bathroom, because we don’t have those!
Truith, come and visit our Bubonic Plague booth! Place-ith your arm in the cage full of rats with infected fleas, and enjoy bubbling pustules of the disease as it emerges on your skin!
This booth is conveniently placed right next to the Plague Doctor booth, where the scary, beak-faced doctor will apply leeches and cow dung in a futile attempt to cure you. Even if you don’t have the plague, stop by! His application of sheep spit in your ear will help even the slightest headache!
Many people come to these faires just for the food. We were going to have our traditional turkey leg feast, but because we want to stay true to the magic of the era, we have instead decided to starve our guests (although we may let you eat a few of the turnips you have picked). Also, the only water that will be available will be foul, putrid liquid that will make you sick as soon as it touches your lips. Verily!
If you like-ith our Medieval Faire, don’t forget to come back for our annual Cholera Celebration this fall!